Friday, December 31, 2010

New Review: Stuff Stephanie In The Incinerator

I hate to end 2010 on a movie like this but, well, you picked it.

Stuff Stephanie In The Incinerator

You guys and gals be safe this New Years Eve! I'll return sometime in January!

Happy New Year!

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Programming Reminder: Twitter Event-Frankenhooker

Just a reminder, tomorrow, December 29th at 9PM, if you follow me on Twitter, I will be live Tweeting the awesomely titled movie "Frankenhooker".

So to remind you how this works, starting at 9 I will start watching "Frankenhooker" and every few minutes I'll post thoughts, reviews, riffs, whatever on Twitter and you can follow along! If you wanna somehow participate, you can find a copy of the movie (Unfortuately, Netflix doesn't have it. Sad face.), you can watch along and using the Twitter hashtag #frankenhooker tag your posts with your own riffs, reviews, thoughts, whatever.

That's it! See you guys tomorrow!

Thursday, December 23, 2010

New Review: Christmas Evil

Christmas comes early!

Christmas Evil


Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Jason Soto's The Night Before Christmas

Christmas Special, everybody!!

Special apperance by a good friend and fellow LAMB member!

And do you like Cokie? HE'S IN THE WHOLE THING! WOO!


Friday, December 17, 2010

New Review: Drive In Massacre

Sorry this is being posted late. It was short enough, anyway.

Drive In Massacre


Thursday, December 16, 2010

The Lair of the Unwanted #12: Winter Wonderhell

In the season 1 finale of "The Lair of the Unwanted", Jason and Nolahn congratulate a friend on a new arrival. Nolahn takes a much needed break after working non-stop since March. Jason is in the middle of Reader's Choice Month and he announced a special Twitter Event for later in December.

After a good number of feedback, Jason and Nolahn come clean and discuss mutant killer snowman vs Nazi zombies. Nolahn gives a good answer and Jason challenges anyone to top it.

Then they discuss not one, not two, but THREE films: Jack Frost, Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman, and Dead Snow. Throw in a new spot for a Christmas Lifetime movie and some kickass movie and that, my friends, is what we call a season finale!



Wednesday, December 15, 2010

B-Movie Meatloaf: Robot vs The Aztec Mummy

This movie can be summed up using my patented Dash Points! (Trademark)

-A Professor invites some friends over to his super nice house.
-He starts telling them a story.
-80% of the movie is done in this story/flashback mode.
-First, he tells them that he went to some super big meeting of other super important scientists and professors. He gave a speech about transgressing a woman to their past lives and have them recount things in their past lives.
-Everyone at the meeting laughs at Professor.
-Professor runs away crying.
-He runs home and does the past life transgression on his wife Flora.
-In a past life, Flora was an Aztec princess who had the hots for some warrior dude. They were totally gonna run away together and fornicate until tomorrow noon. Unfortunately, they were caught.
-The princess was sacrificed. The warrior was mummified and forced to guard over a fancy breast plate and a bracelet.
-The Aztecs were so busy doing this they forgot to put the year 2013 on their calender.
-There's a map to some treasure on the breast plate.
-Still in flashback mode, the Professor tells his friends he and...the friend's he's talking to went to a Aztec tomb, found the mummy and the breast plate.
-Wait. Why is telling his friends what they did? Do they have horrible memories?
-The mummy comes to life and goes after the Professor. Professor realizes the mummy wants the breast plate so he returns it. The mummy, apparently, got the hots for Flora so he kidnapped her. While recusing her, Flora's dad flashed a cross, which scared the Mummy (no fucking idea why) and the tomb collasped due to a bomb.
-There's some bad guy named The Bat.
-Yes, that whole bad guy thing literally comes out of nowhere. I'm beginning to think this movie was pieced together from some other movie or show or something.
-The Bat wants the breast plate so he takes the breast plate and kidnaps some if not all of the following people: The Professor, Flora, some dude, a kid, and one of the professor's friends. The Professor is being forced to do...something for The Bat. Thankfully, the mummy shows up for the breast plate, pours acid on The Bat's henchman Bruno, and leaves. The Professor and his fellow prisoner escape.
-The Bat hypnotizes Flora and has her tell him where the Mummy is now staying since the tomb is gone. I guess he's renting a place while it's being rebuilt.
-Once the location of the mummy along with the breast plate is revealed, The Bat works on a plan to steal it.
-Which takes five years.
-This brings us to now, I guess. The Bat is going to steal the breast plate tonight and it's up to the Professor and his Floyd The Barber looking friend to stop him!
-The Professor and Floyd find The Bat's hideout but are captured immedately.
-The Bat does a Bond Villian move and tells them his evil plan instead of killing them. The Plan: build a robot and have it fight and kill the mummy when it awakens cause they have taken the breast plate.
-Again, without killing the Professor, The Bat turns on his robot (that she spent 5 years making) and they walk (SOOOOO.....FUCKING.......SLOOOOOOWLY) to the rented tomb where the mummy is.
-The Bat steals the breast plate and the mummy wakes up.
-The Robot and Aztec Mummy now fight.
-Meanwhile, the Professor and Floyd escape and head over to the rented tomb with the police and Flora.
-There, the Professor destroys the Robot's controls, allowing the mummy to kill the robot. The mummy then kills Bruno and The Bat. Flora uses her past life Aztec Princess powers to tell the mummy to take the shit and hide somewhere FOREVER!
-The End!!

That's seriously it. The fight lasts all of 5 minutes, if that. The "robot" is introduced in the last 10 minutes of the movie, and it's really a guy in silver tubing. This whole movie is a mess. And hey surprise surprise it was bought to American from Mexico by one K. Gordon Murray. Oh K. Gordon Murray, when will your reign of terror end?


Monday, December 13, 2010

Twitter Event: Frankenhooker

So I got a Twitter account but it's not used very much. I just use it to promote new reviews. Nobody hardly talks to me on there (besides Maria and Sean but I talk to them at other places) and anytime I ask anyone anything there, no one responds. I DO get a lot of Follow Friday's but that's about it.

I was thinking about this and notice a thing some people do called "Live Tweeting" where someone does something and they Tweet about it or whatever. I think this is a good idea so I'm gonna do something like that!

So here's what's gonna happen:
1. On December 29th, at 9 PM Eastern Standard Time, I will Live Tweet a review for a movie.
2. The movie is going to be "Frankenhooker".
3. You can follow me at @invasionbmovies if you're on Twitter. If you are not and don't wanna join it, go to it at this page:!/invasionbmovies and just keep an eye on that page.

I'll be posting Tweets throughout the movie, where I'll review it, riff it, tell you my thoughts about it, whatever. So yes, December 29th at 9PM! Frankenhooker! POSTER!

I can't wait!

Friday, December 10, 2010

New Review: Forbidden Zone

Sorry it's up so late. It's been a weird crazy day.

Forbidden Zone

Much like this movie. Explaination (maybe) later.

Monday, December 06, 2010

Jason Made A Video #11

In this video:
-Jason and Cokie shows how creepy the song "Baby It's Cold Outside" is
-Trivial Pursuit.

The reason not a lot happens in this video is because of the "Baby It's Cold Outside" segment went a bit long. So I had to cut that part to only showcase the weird lyrics, then cut out two other segments I filmed. Otherwise, this video would be 20 minutes long.


The Return of Jason!

Ok, I didn't really go anywhere. It just felt like forever since I posted anything cause it's been a long ass weekend. I have one of those shitty ass jobs wher I have to work on weekends. Stay in school, kids!

Smoke lots of weed but stay in school.

Anyway. The start of Reader's Choice months has officially began! In case you missed it, I recently reviewed "Dumpster Baby", which got a whopping 19 votes. The next four polls only got 7 or 8 votes so I dunno who was around that first week then suddenly said "Fuck this blog" and left but, uh, thanks?

Actually, I have a theory about that first week, which I'm gonna have to keep to myself. If you're DYING to know what it is, email me ( and I'll tell you.

And that brings the close the last poll, which means the final movie I'll be watching on December 31st is "Stuff Stephanie In The Incinerator", which is a movie where there isn't a lot of info about. So I guess the only way people will learn about movies is through me! That's fuckin' awesome, man!

I'm actually curious about that movie so hopefully it'll be worth the wait. Meanwhile, I have to get through "Forbidden Zone", "Drive-In Massacre", and "Christmas Evil" first.

And finally, I somehow got nothing but TV shows in from my Netflix. I sorta gave up on TV some years ago, only getting into a handful of shows ("Lost" and "24" being two of those, which are now both gone) but I keep hearing a lot about some other shows, so I'm checking them now.

You guys, why didn't anyone force me to watch "The Venture Brothers"? This show is great! It's pretty funny but not rolling on the floor hilarious. It's very clever and pretty spot on, for being a parody of those '60's action shows featuring smart kids and whatnot.

And finally, I'm probably gonna film a "Jason Made A Video" tomorrow. Oh, speaking of, there's this:

Linky cause video biggy!


Friday, December 03, 2010

New Review: Dumpster Baby

Dear Troma,

You owe me an explaination on what the fuck happened in this movie!

Dumpster Baby