Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Pull Up A Chair, I Got Loads To Tell You

Hi. Remember me? Jason? I run this place? Yeah, I been gone for awhile. Sorry about that. You know how it is when the kids get older and you have an extra bedroom in your house and you don't know what to do with it, so you try different things. Maybe a den? How about an exercise room? A kinky sex dungeon? You know how that's like right? Well my reason for not being around is nothing like that. I don't even have kids. That I know of anyway.

Anyway here's what's been going on in my little corner of the world.

-Where are all the fucking shark movies? I been reviewing shark movies lately, then I suddenly stopped. What the hell? Well, let's just say "life" and "my job" and "the mob" got in the way. So I didn't have time to watch any movies, sadly. But I will be fixing this soon! This week in fact! Maybe the day after this is posted! Yeah!! And if your name is Nolahn and you're wondering when I'm gonna link to your review, I will do it in one of those shark posts! Promise!

-The Netflix Game has moved! It got sick of being around here and decided to branch out so more people can play. So every Saturday over at The LAMB, you can play it. And I've expanded it to compensate for the bigger audience.

(I pre-apologize for all the caps but seriously...)
-AHHHH!! I WANT TO FUCKING MOVE TO AUSTIN, TEXAS RIGHT FUCKING NOW!! LOOK AT THIS SHIT JUST LOOK AT THIS SHIT AHHHH AHHHH AAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Is that NOT fucking awesome???

-Speaking of The LAMB, it's time to pick the next Movie of the Month and there's this weird champions thing going on, which is kinda like "Thunderdome", where we all have to root for a movie and beg people to vote for our movie. I picked "Frozen" cause it's a pretty mainstream awesome flick. It's doing really good but I need more votes, dammit!! So go here, vote for "Frozen", and do so every day until Saturday the 21st. To those of you reading this way later in the future, tell me what the lottery numbers are so I can play them now. And hoverboards, do they exist yet?
(I bet people wanted me to use a "Hunger Games" reference but whatever.)

-You know that show "Soap" from the '70's and early '80s? Well, I started watching that show from the beginning and I've gotten super into it. It's fucking hilarious! I wish more sit-coms were like that. And it's a pretty clever way to ensure your show gets picked up, end it on a cliffhanger so people would WANT to see what happened next. And I'm probably gonna regret saying this but back then on "Soap" Katherine Helmond kinda had it going on. In a MILF-y kinda way.


What the fuck was I even talking about? I dunno, here's a list:
10. Requiem For A Dream
9. Eternal Sunshine For The Spotless Mind
8. Benny and Joon
7. One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest
6. The Adventures of Ford Fairlane
5. Alice's Restaurant
4. All About Steve
3. A Hard Day's Night
2. IQ. Hey! I have an idea for a movie! What if Albert Einstein had a grandson...AND HE WAS IN LOVE! How would Einstein solve THAT problem?!
1. Boss Nigger

Oh, you know what would be awesome? If there was a movie where Albert Einstein invented a time machine and went forward in time. I dunno what he'd do. Maybe get Yahoo Serious to do it. I mean what is he doing lately? Maybe Tom Clift knows.

Anyway, I'm done. More reviews are coming later.
Hugs and kisses!
-Jason

4 comments:

Dave Enkosky said...

My writing partner used to live in Austin, and he raved about the Alamo Draft House all the time. I so want to go there.

nolahn said...

I was starting to wonder/get concerned... I completely understand Real Life getting in the way of blogginess, but figured you'd still find a minute together a three line post with my entry into the Shark Attack blog-a-thon(g).

Btw, I'm lovin' your context-free list. You should make that a recurring thing.

Nick said...

Haha... yeah. "What's the list connection?" It's almost like a TOWER game.

Jason Soto said...

I'd kill to hear Steve say the words "And your final movie is...Boss Nigger."
-Jason