Friday, September 21, 2012


While I was renting "Cabin In The Woods" (short review: fucking awesome movie), I saw this little movie as well. Looking at the cover, I formed the movie in the head and said "That's so fucking ridiculous. I must watch that." So I rented that as well and now here we are. I have see this movie! Yeah! That's more then YOU can say.

Sorry I got snippy. This movie left me in a foul mood.

Alright so we meet David who does one of those fancy jobs where he takes cares of people's stocks or some shit and he's in love with Alice Eve, who played the 10 in "She's Outta My League". But he can't get the nerve to talk to her. So David's friend Corey convinces him to not only stay for the Christmas party but talk to Alice Eve. Yes, I actually forgot her name. My brain is quickly erasing this movie so I better write fast.

David agrees to stay even though he's in a bitter mood about losing a client or something and during the party he gets the courage to talk to her and ask her out. She agrees and also agrees to let David give her a ride home. The problem is David is Corey's Designated Driver so he has to take him home too. This makes for an awkward car ride.

Along the way, Corey wants to get a bite to eat but he needs money so he asks David to stop at the next ATM. They find one and Corey goes to use it and the ATM comes to life and eats him. The end.

Ok, no. I only wish that would happen. Instead through a very annoying character development, David and Alice Eve go into the ATM with Corey. To explain, it's one of those small ATM vestibules with a locked door and you need your debit card to open the doors. Anyway, now that all of our characters are in this ATM room, let the fun begin!

They notice a guy in a winter coat standing outside the ATM, just standing. Only Alice Eve wants to stay in the ATM while the guys are willing to ignore the guy and just leave. But before anyone can do anything, another guy shows up and our Killer goes up to him and kills him for no reason, to prove he's a bad ass. So now that they know he's serious, the shit begins.

That's more or less the movie. The three of them are trapped, not knowing what to do. They try several things to get out like writing HELP on the window, getting a security guard's attention, and finally just make a run for it. The killer manages to kill the guard and stay one step ahead of everybody. And when he's not out front just standing there, he's in the back trying to get a back door open. It's never explained why he wants to open this back door because when it goes to the inside, you don't see the back door. So...I dunno.

Alright, I'm getting bored writing this fucking review so let's just go through it quickly, shall we?

A guy suddenly bursts into the room and they think he's the killer but after killing him, they realize it's not and feel bad.

Corey decides to make a run for it and he runs into a fishing line the killer put up. The killer then comes and kills him.

David keeps trying to kick in the ATM hoping it'd get some the cops attention but that doesn't do any good.

The killer finally gets bored (like us) and manages to get a fire hose into the ATM and fill it with water while blocking the front door. Then the killer grabs a seat outside the ATM and watches all the fun.

David and Alice Eve decides to activate the fire alarm by starting a fire but Alice Eve slips on some water and this kills her.

The killer drives ANOTHER car through the ATM, which allows the water and David to escape. David manages to make a Molotov cocktail and thinks he set the killer on fire but he hasn't. Then the cops show up and of course, the cops think David lost his fucking mind and arrest him. THEN WE GET A TWIST ENDING!

SPOILER ALERT we never find out who the killer is. And he just some dude who plans murders around ATM's...I guess. Anyway, THE END!

The only reason I kept watching was to see if we ever find out who the killer was but we don't, so it's a frustrating boring film. I guess people might like the fact the killer was just some guy out ruining people's lives but they kept hiding his face, making it seem like it was someone we knew. I dunno, I don't recommend this movie in the least bit. If you want something better, watch "Frozen". This is almost the same movie, minus the pissing and wolves.



Dave Enkosky said...

I'm glad you watched this so I wouldn't have to.

Corbyn Samuels said...

Is it just me or do a lot of these “horror movies” miss the delivery completely? I’ve found that a lot of movies lately are too busy frustrating the viewers to ever really make a point. It’s interesting that you didn’t like this movie because I didn’t either. I rented it through Blockbuster @ Home and it came via the mail. I was thinking that this might be a decent movie so I didn’t want to chase it down at the kiosks. Well, it was definitely a movie that I won’t watch again simply because there wasn’t really a point to it. I’ve been using Blockbuster for a while now because I work at DISH and usually the movies I pick aren’t this bad. So on a scale of one to ten I give this movie a two.