Saturday, August 18, 2007

One Down, 20 more to Go

A few weeks ago I wrote a blog about movies that people can't believe that I haven't seen yet. I finally got to one on the list:
The Bourne Identity

I won't give a full review of it, just my thoughts.

I thought it was funny anytime something happened Bourne would get a hunch someone was about to kill him. And oddly enough, he'd be right. A good example of this is when he and that chick he hooks up with Marie are at some dude's house and the dude's kid is like "the dog is missing." This causes Bourne to go into full on panic mode and scream out "GET IN THE BASEMENT NOW!!!!!" and he grabs a gun and blows shit up. And before you think Bourne is out of his fuckin mind, we see Mute Clive Owen up in the hills.

So....what happened to the dog? Why is the dog gone missing a sign that Mute Clive Owen is there? Are we suppose to assume he killed the dog? I don't get it and it wasn't explained.

Another thing that was weird was Julia Stiles character. She was just...there. She didn't do anything. She barely interacted with anyone else, except for Mute Clive Owen. (Why do I keep calling him that? If you seen the movie, you should know what I mean. If not, he doesn't say one word until Bourne confronts him.) And I dont think she was even given a name. She was just named "Chick In Small Dark Room Somewhere Doing Nothing" cause that's all she did. She sat in a room, with headphones and just went "...". And at the end when Chris Cooper (The gay dad from "American Beauty") shows up and is attacked by Bourne, she just stands there. At least attempt to karate chop Bourne's arm or something.

And one final complaint, how in the hell did he make every single car alarm in Paris go off? I mean I know he's suppose to be badass but does that's kind of a weak badass talent. I'm hoping Bourne would keep that out of his resume.

"So, I see you kick ass, good with knives, good with guns, excellent driver. What's this? You have the power to activate every car alarm within a 10 mile radius? Sorry, we don't think you'd fit in with the Justice League of America."

So with that stuff out of the way, let's go to the deleted opening and closing scenes.

The opening doesn't make much sense. It's just Bourne in some city and he's asking people where some chick is at. Then all of the people vanish and he faints. Then...that's it.

The ending kinda sorta explains it. He wakes up in some hotel room, some guy who I don't recall seeing before is talking to him and telling him he can be a free agent if he wants, and leaves. Then it goes into the original theatrical ending, except...not. Here, you can see for yourself.

So overall, I'd give this movie 2 stars. It was ok, I was entertained but I didn't see what the big deal was. There was one pretty cool scene I did like though.

Who knew Matt Damon could kick ass so well?

No comments: