But if there were to be a new SNL movie based on a character(s) or sketch, which ones would it be? Well here are my picks, along with what the movie would be about if it got made. I would include a video but since NBC decide to be all Nazi-ish with their video clips and had them banned. So instead, I'll just link to a transcript of the sketch in questions (when available). Maybe some of these might not sound like good ideas, or even original at all. But if they can make a full feature length movie about two guys bobbing their heads to a Haddaway song, I think anything is possible.
These are in no particular order:
1. My Aunt Linda
The SNL Sketch: Usually shown during "Weekend Update", Amy Poheler brings out her aunt Linda (Kristen Wiig) to review movies currently in theaters. Aunt Linda don't seem to have good tastes when she complains about good Oscar-worthy movies like "The Queen"
The Transcript: http://snltranscripts.jt.org/06/06nupdate.phtml
The Movie Plot: Amy Poheler plays a movie critic for a newspaper and is well respected with her opinions, even though some may disagree (a female Roger Ebert if you will). One day Poheler's character gets sick or called away and she isn't able to do the movie reviews anymore. And her rival who wants her job is just itching to take over, so she has no choice but to ask her Aunt Linda, who has an extensive VHS, Beta, even Laserdisc, collection to take over and write reviews in her absense. She becomes an overnight sensation and she ends up being another rival.
I'm sure many people would point out that just cause a newspaper reporter, even a movie critic, can't write their article for awhile, they're not going to ask just anybody to fill in for them. When Roger Ebert was in the hospital all those months getting treatment, he didn't ask his Aunt to take over. But still, this is from the same group of people who made a movie about two public access hosts getting their show on network TV.
2. The Two A-Holes
The SNL Sketch: The situations often differ each sketch. Two "A-Holes" (Jason Sudeikis & Kristen Wiig) want to do various things but make it very frustrating for the person they're talking to.
The Transcript: http://snltranscripts.jt.org/05/05naholes.phtml
The Movie Plot: The Two A-Holes realize they're not married, so they decide to go to Vegas. They bring along their best man and maid of honor (maybe one another SNL member and the other just a celebrity like Alec Baldwin or Anne Hathaway) and along the way everyone gets frustrated with each other while planning the wedding.
Usually the road trip idea is pretty much "jump the shark: the movie version", but when it comes to these two, there really isn't anything else except have them in different cities, annoying folks along the way. I can forsee them parody a scene from the remake of Texas Chainsaw Massacre, talking to a Texan cop who doesn't even bother murdering them. Oh, and there might be some issue with the title. So they might have to go the route they went with "Night At The Roxbury" and give it a title that doesn't nessessarily reflect the characters. Maybe like "Aggrivating Road Trip" or "'Till Death, Babe".
3. Deep House Dish
The SNL Sketch: As seen on MTV4, a show about techo club music hosted by DJ Dynasty Handbag (Keenan Thompson) and his not-so-brigh sidekick T'Shane (Andy Samburg). The entire sketch comprises of different musical acts that pokes fun at techo club music, which is mainly just a word or phrase being repeated over and over again. Every time T'Shane makes some lame joke and DJ Dynasty Handbag insults him.
The Transcript: This is from when Rachael Dratch was on the show. She played DJ's sidekick. This was the only transcript of this sketch I could find. http://snltranscripts.jt.org/05/05jdeep.phtml
The Movie Plot: This could go a few ways honestly. It could be like an updated version of "Wayne's World", where the show goes on, then we see what the two hosts are up to the other days of the week when the show isn't on. Maybe to bring in a villain angle, have some anti-techo guy buy the station and threaten to shut down the show, or bring in two other techno music geeks who want to replace them. It could even go with DJ Dynasty Handbag sick of the music featured on the show so he decides to make his own album.
If it goes the updated "Wayne's World" route, people probably wouldn't take too kindly to that. And I dunno if a movie revolving around techno music, even fake goofy songs, would be a good idea. But the interaction between DJ and T'Shane are pretty hilarious if you ask me, so it should work into a movie.
4. The Terget Lady
The SNL Sketch: Yet again, Kristen Wiig plays the character, of a lady who works at Target, but pronounces it "Terget" and loves to interact with every customer she comes in contact with. Downside is, she runs off in the middle of the transaction to buy an item she sees.
The Transcript: http://snltranscripts.jt.org/05/05gtarget.phtml
The Movie Plot: If Target has a problem with the movie using their store and store name, just make it about the lady who works in a made up store and have it be a story about trying to gain acceptance at work and we see her life outside of work. Or maybe the entire movie is about the store being robbed, kinda like a comedic version of "Dog Day Afternoon" or "Inside Man".
Honestly, out of all of these so far, this one seems more probable. It's not like SNL movies were always THAT original.
5. Nuni
The SNL Sketch: A family of weird foreigners who have a style all of their own. They often invite regular people to their place and are instantly uncomfortable. Then confusion is had when both Fred Armisen & Mya Rudolph's characters have the same name, although they claim each name is pronounced differently.
The Transcript: http://snltranscripts.jt.org/04/04iartsy.phtml
The Movie Plot: The Nuni's move into a new apartment building and run into all sorts of problems with the neighbors, who instantly don't like them. Maybe eventually it'll turn out the neighbors aren't that normal themselves and it'll be ironic. Like one could be some dude who pretends to be a woman in an internet sex chat room or something, and he's making a big deal about some foreigners that like to sit on hair.
6. Weekend Update
Ok, bear with me on this one and hear me out.
The Movie Plot: Weekend Update is a little low-to-no budget "news" show that aired Sunday night/morning at like 2 AM. They only report on weird occurances in the news. Think "News of the Weird" if they had a TV show. Due to ratings slipping, they need to do something different and report on ACTUAL news. So they set up to cover a Presidental election that's coming up. But of course no one takes them seriously, so they have to fight for recognition and respect.
If people think of this has a combination of "Anchorman" and "UHF", it just might work. And it depends on who they get to be the news anchors. They could go with Amy Poheler and Seth Meyers, and make it a point to say the show has been on for "years" with different anchors.
I'm sure there are more reoccuring sketches/characters that I'm forgetting that could be turned into a movie. If you think of anything, feel free to leave a comment. For a list of everything that spun off from SNL, check it out here.
-Jason
