Thursday, July 26, 2012

What I've Learned About Life By Watching The Room

Many people may not be aware of it, but Tommy Wiseau is indeed a wise(au) sage. He has taught me many things about life and all in one movie! Imagine if he wrote, produced, directed, and starred in ANOTHER movie? Anyway, here's things "The Room" have taught me:

-It's pronounced "underwears", not "underwear".
-It's perfectly legal and socially OK to adopt a 18-year-old guy randomly.
-If you don't like the way your friend looks or act, get another guy to completely replace him.
-"Fiancee" is too hard of a word, so just use "future wife" or "future husband".
-Your son-in-law HAS to help you with your financial situation!
-If you get diagnosed with a disease, mention it once but never again.
-Somedays you feel like driving, somedays you feel like walking, other days you feel like taking the trolley.
-The proper greeting when you enter a room is "Oh hi".
-If you tell people your "future husband" hit you, they will instantly believe you, even if you don't have any marks or bruises.
-A 60 Minute cassette tape can hold three days worth of phone conversations.
-The computer business is rough in San Francisco.
-Dogs love hanging out in flower shops.
-I apparently have been throwing footballs wrong my entire life. Maybe this is why all the jocks picked on me.
-Feeling extra freaky in the bedroom? Fuck her bellybutton!
-Keep a pane of glass and a water source in the bedroom to add the right romantic touch.
-You and your boyfriend want to have weird chocolate sex? Go to your friends house!
And finally:
-You can keep your stupid comments in your pocket!

What else has "The Room" taught you?


Dave Enkosky said...

I learned that if I want to film myself in a sex scene I should include nothing but close-ups of my ass.

Eric said...

I learned that framed photos of cutlery silhouettes are perfect living room decor.

Nick said...

I learned what the perfect pizza toppings are...

Nolahn said...

I learned that you can egg people into just about anything if you chirp at them long enough.

simoncolumb said...

I need to WATCH the film in the first place. But I need to make sure I am very, very drunk.