Old School Summer: Intruder

Status: Own

Like I've said in the past, sometimes I don't find movies but movies find me. While cruising around Amazon looking up special deals, I came across "Intruders" and the description just sounded so damn appealing to me I had to buy it. And once I tell you more about it, you'll be like "Yes Jason, I see why you did that."

First off, it stars Sam Raimi. Well, not "star", but he's in it. And Ted Raimi is in it too. For some reason where ever Sam goes, Ted goes. It's produced and storied by Lawrence Bender, who if that name sounds familiar, it's because he helped produce "Pulp Fiction" "Reservoir Dogs" and "From Dusk Till Dawn". And why is Sam Raimi here? Well I'm sure that's an interesting story...

Anyway, the movie all takes place in a grocery store. It's closing time, where indeed every new beginning comes from some other begin's end. Yeah. Cashier Jennifer is checking out a friendly old man, who upon his leaving he says "hold hands you lovebirds" and my inner "Pulp Fiction" nerd peaked. Turns out this old man is played by the same guy who said the same thing in a Three Stooges short that was shown in "Pulp Fiction"! WOW! That's like meta levels of geekiness there!

So after the old man leaves, an old boyfriend of Jennifer named Craig shows up and he looks like the keyboard player from Tears for Fears. Craig is all super violent and scares Jennifer, so the entire store comes to her rescue and it's a great rescue cause it just involves each person taking turns punching the guy. After five minutes of abuse, they decide to finally throw him out. Then they go "GLAD we don't have to worry about THAT guy again!" and go back to work.

The store closes and we meet some of the characters, including both Sam and Ted Raimi. We learn the owners of the grocery store have sold the store to the city and it'll be closing up in a week. The second owner Danny doesn't seem too happy about the closing but he signs the contract anyway.

So one interesting thing about this movie is the interesting point of view shots. We get weird camera angles from doorknobs, the floor, a bucket of water, and even a telephone. It's all very strange.

Craig calls Jennifer in the store a few times, then starts messing around outside. Soon inside, people start dying. And what happens for the next 20 minutes is just scene after scene of people getting killed in various ways in a grocery store. These include:

-Sam Raimi getting a meathook in his eye.
-Ted Raimi getting stabbed in the head repeatedly.
-The other boss getting his head shoved on those poky "message" things they have on desks.
-A guy's head getting cut in half by a meat slicer
-And probably my favorite death: a guy getting killed by a baler.

DUDE! They sell Beer beer! I love that brand of beer!

At my job, we use a baler (it's a machine that compacts cardboard boxes in case you're not familiar) and I've always wanted to see a horror movie kill somebody using a baler. I thought I had to write that movie but turns out I don't have too! In a way, I'm a bit disappointed.

Anyway, the last person left is Jennifer and we're suppose to think Craig is doing all the murders. But guess what? SPOILER ALERT! It's actually Danny! He got pissed that the store was being sold and killed the other owner but then he got carried away. That's what he says in the movie, he got carried away! So now he must kill Jennifer and the rest of the movie is just her running from him while he acts all crazy.

I love the ending though. So Danny wants to pin the murders on Craig, but he ends up saving Jennifer and attacking Danny outside. Jennifer managed to call the police and after Craig killed Danny, the cops show up. So we think naturally that the cops are gonna think Craig is the killer but NOPE! This movie pulls no punches. They think Craig AND Jennifer killed everybody. She even tries to tell the cops she's the one who reported it but the cops keep saying SHUT UP! Oh and I should mention one of the cops is Bruce Campbell! So now if I ever run into Bruce Campbell, I can blow him away and ask "So what was 'Intruder' like?" and he'll probably take me out for a Beer beer. Ah, Beer beer.

And that's the end. Jennifer is framed for the murders along with Craig. Of course knowing the legal system like I know it, they probably really won't try her for the murders. Y'know finger prints and foot prints and all that jazz. But let's not over think it, shall we?

This movie was a lot of fun. The kills are great to watch, it's oddly darkly funny in parts, and it's great seeing the guy behind some of the greatest movies of our time act in a slasher flick. Plus it was a good nostalgic trip to see all the old cereal brands in the movie. That was a lot of fun too. I remember when grocery stores looked like the one in this movie. So if you can find this movie, check it out!

-Jason