Tuesday, August 07, 2012

Sleepaway Camp 2: Unhappy Campers

I'll be honest with you. I saw this movie a week ago and I didn't instantly write this review cause I had to let it settle. Kinda like after a bad chicken dinner. I had to come with terms with it. Did I like it? Did I hate it? What the fuck did they do with Angela's character? How can I possibly put it into words? If only I was a better reviewer. Oh, there I go again.

Ok so "Sleepaway Camp 2" takes place five years after the original and we're at some other camp called Camp Rolling Hills, run by a guy named Uncle John. Ugh. Unless the dude was my uncle, I wouldn't send my camp where the guy running it insisted everyone called him Uncle John. That sounds like a pedophile serial killer nickname.

Anyway, it starts with some camp kids telling scary stories and eventually it evolves into the story of what happened in the first movie. Soon a female camp councilor shows up and drags a girl camper away from storytime. The female camp councilor turns out to be Angela from the first film. So get this. She got arrested and was sent to a insane asylum, where she gets a sex change.

I...didn't know insane asylums hand out sex change operations like that. You think they would've frowned upon that, since that's the reason why he/she went crazy to begin with. But whatever. Angela is now fully a female. But now instead of being shy and quiet, she's a HUGE PSYCHO BITCH!! I mean HUUUUUUGE psycho bitch! Yeah, she was kinda psycho in the first film but this time she's a MAJOR psycho. And a giant bitch. I can't stress that enough.

Like here, she drags a poor girl away from the storytime and just because the girl reacts a bit, Angela goes "Oh yeah!" *kill kill kill stab murder die* Then when asked about all the missing dead campers, Angela just tells people "she sent them home", which means if she REALLY sent them home instead of killing them, she'd be single handedly causing this camp to get bankrupt.

Yeah, I'm stalling. I don't have much to say about this movie.

Ok so Angela is a camp councilor and she's a bitch. All the girls she watches over don't like her a lot, especially Ally, the camp slut. And I'll tell you now the chick who played Ally, Valerie Hartman, if you ever wanted to see her tits, this is the best movie because every scene she's in, she shows her tits. Not a complaint, but when you live with a female who walks in on you constantly while watching these shitty movies, and every scene has Ally's tits, she starts to wonder. That's all I'm saying.

There's a set of twins at this camp (Besides Ally's tits) who like to fuck and get high, rather openly I might add. I never been to camp but I've seen a lot of camp movies (YOU DON'T SAY?!?) and it seems like a pretty strict atmosphere. You have to get up at this time, you have to play (UGH) sports. You have to get shirtless. You have to sleep outside. A group of hairy people in jean shorts are constantly shouting at you. It's like PE all summer long. I don't get how these two got away with smoking weed and fucking all the time.

Well, the answer is they don't for long. Angela catches them fucking and smoking and soon knocks both of them out. One sister wakes up on, I'm not fucking kidding, a GIANT barbeque grill and her sister is already burnt down to the skeleton while she's on fire. Man, the kills are interesting in this movie.

There's a scene where a girl just yells I WANNA GO HOME! over and over again and I kept waiting to see how Angela kills her but...she just goes home. Huh. Didn't see that one coming. Oh! I didn't talk about the stars of the movie. So Angela is played by Pamela Springsteen. And YES she is Bruce's sister. And then there's Molly who played by Renee Estevez, Emilo's sister. I guess Chip Hitler wasn't available.

So Molly is the nice sweet girl who has a crush on the hunky boy Sean, but Ally has a crush on Sean too. But Ally takes care of this by fucking random dudes and showing her tits. OH MY GOD I need to talk about this wacky sex scene. So all the girls are going camping but Ally sneaks away to have sex with some guy in the bathroom. The scene starts off by showing their feet and we just hear weird moaning. Then you see the guy like drag Ally across the bathroom like a doll, until stopping to take her top off. Then he drags her to a stall, where he tries to take her bra off but fails, so she does it for him. Then he, I guess, mimics eating her out but she's still wearing her panties so I have no idea what he's doing and she's just like "OH YES DO ME NOW DO ME NOW!! OH GOD!!!" while the guy just fondles her panties. It's all very weird and unsexy. And for some reason, Angela doesn't kill her right away.

There are two boys though who plan on "scaring" Angela by dressing up as, no joke, Freddy Kruger and Jason Voorhees. Oh clever. But she gets the best of them and dresses up like fucking LEATHERFACE and chainsaws their asses. Seriously. It's...a strange slasher moment.

Uncle John is slowly getting pissed that all these campers are "being sent home" so he fires Angela and she goes off on the deep end. She kills random people for doing the slightest thing like talking too much, for having nude pics of girls, or threatening to tell. Eventually, Angela kills Ally and you won't believe how she does it. She drowns Ally in shit. I'm not even kidding. Shit. She just keeps pushing her down into shit until she died. What a fucking way to go.

Molly feels bad for Angela so she follows Angela to her special quiet place, which is an abandoned cabin up in the hills. There, Molly discovers all the dead bodies of all the people "sent home" and Angela is forced to tie Molly up and hold her prisoner. She doesn't kill her cause she likes her. Eventually, Sean comes looking for Molly and Angela chops his head off for no real reason, then places it in the TV for Molly to watch. Thankfully, Molly is able to escape but like any girl in a horror movie, she can't run and manages to trip and hit her head, knocking her out.

Angela returns to camp, kills pretty much everyone including Uncle John, and then decides to hitch a ride with an annoying cowgirl, whom Angela eventually kills. Molly wakes up, stumbles around the woods and finds a truck coming on down the road. Of course it's Angela. Angela says "Howdy Partner!" cause she's wearing a cowboy hat, the movie just freezes and that's it. The end.

Yeah. NOW you see why I had a hard time writing this review. But after thinking about it and letting it settle, I think it was just OK. I would probably only watch it once in a great while, maybe show some friends, but that's about it. I do love the kills and the fact people's sisters are in this movie. It's kind of a strange film and has a fan of the first film, I'm a bit empty about what they did with Angela. I was kinda annoyed at her bitchyness and just wanted her to silently kill. I guess the film makers were going for that "CAMP" value.



1 comment:

Dave Enkosky said...

I nominated you for a Liebster award. http://www.kl5film.com/2012/08/liebster-award-time.html