Monday, August 13, 2012
My Website Is Now In The Second Grade
So this past weekend a milestone passed around here. I have officially been doing this shit for seven-SEVEN-years and I couldn't be happier. While thinking about how to celebrate this, I decided to just post my Top 20 favorite reviews I've written in the past year. Now, what's happening here is not only did I like how I went about the review but SOME of them I ended up really liking the movie! Without further ado....adieu? Whatever here's my list.
20. Dreamaniac-This is a bit of a cheat cause I wrote this on August 9th of last year (the anniversary is the 11th) but I really kinda....liked? this movie? I guess. It's certainly interesting. I mean it's awful but there's something fun about the awfulness, which is kind of a running theme throughout this list.
19. TerrorVision-The review is currently unavailable cause it was on the old site and I haven't bought it over yet, but this was a movie I remember seeing as a kid and eventually got a copy of it on DVD and quite enjoy it's campyness and weird style.
18. Ants-A made-for-TV movie with Suzanne Somers and a bunch of other people must fight ants. And not mutant ants or giant ants. Just...ants. Yeah...
17. Satan's Little Helper-Probably the best movie to pair up with "Trick R Treat", I really dug this weird ass movie about a serial killer who tricks a kid into helping him kill people in a small town. Features quite possibly the hottest chick I've seen in a long time.
16. Abraham Lincoln vs Zombies-I really can't believe I like a The Asylum film as much as I do, but this was pretty good. The guy who played Lincoln was awesome and all the weird historic cameos was fun.
15. Murder Weapon-This really was featured on a failed internet show I started called Invasion of the B-Movies TV but I'm pretty proud of the review. The movie was fucking terrible but the review? Awesome!
14. The Initiation-A typical '80s slasher starring Princess Vespa from "Spaceballs" AND Clu Gulager? AND there's a giant penis costume? Yes please!
13. Mardi Gras Massacre-This movie is................................................EVIL! But really..........................................GOOFY!
12. Die-Ner (Get It?)-This is more for the controversy that followed after I posted the review. My friend Nick Jobe REALLY wanted me to see this movie and after I saw it and said "it was eh", Nick hasn't looked at me the same way since. It's a decent enough of a movie, I guess.
11. Pinocchio's Revenge-This movie is really weird and I didn't know how to handle it. I think it shows in the writing.
10. The Haunting of Whaley House-My 1000th post AND a movie by a guy I (sorta) know! And it's a pretty neat movie.
9. Bikini Girls On Ice-So this is an interesting slasher movie. A bunch of hot girls in bikini's show up at an abandoned gas station where a serial killer lives and what you think happens happens. Oddly enough, only one pair of tits is shown in the entire movie. Boo!
8. Two Headed Shark Attack-This is an amazingly fun movie. No, I'm serious. You got Brooke Hogan who knows how to do EVERYTHING, you got Charlie O'Donnell, and you got Carmen Electra who just lies around in a bikini throughout the movie. I dunno what more you want!
7. Zombie Nation-People like it when I get angry and this movie REALLY got me angry.
5. Starship Troopers-Another review that bought along controversy because the main guy TOTALLY died but some nay-sayers say he didn't. But clearly, he died. C'mon!
4. Rubber-This is the most fun I had writing a review about a weird movie.
3. Long Kiss Goodnight-I CAN'T DIE, MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!!!!
2. A Serbian Film-I really love this review me and Nick Jobe did on the most controversial movie ever. I'm sad that many people didn't read it. WHY WON'T YOU READ IT?!?!!?
1. Intruder-Oh man, this movie caught me by surprise. It's got Sam and Ted Raimi, a cameo by Bruce Campbell, and the most fucked up ending I've ever seen in a slasher movie. I really think people should hunt down this movie and watch it. NOW!
Well, that's it. I would like to thank everybody who visits the site and reads my stuff. I really appreciate it. What does the future hold for me? How the hell should I know?! I'm not psychic! We'll just have to wait to see, won't we?
And as a special bonus, here's the recent episode of The LAMBcast where me, Nolahn, Nick, Dan Heaton, and Sebastian from Black Hole Sun.com got together and rolled our own Top Five lists. Enjoy!