Friday, June 13, 2008

Five For Friday: June 13th

I kinda liked the thing I did last week listing five things to talk about, so maybe I'll try to make it a weekly thing. Here's five things for Friday the 13th!

1. It's Friday the 13th! I wanted to do something but I didn't know what. Seems like every movie site or blog I visit already did the "Watch all Friday the 13th films" thing, and I figure watching and/or reviewing just one would be kinda lame, so I came up short on this one. The next Friday the 13th, in February 2009, I'll be ready! For...something. BUT! I do have a neat little story to tell you, so you're totally not without something FT13 (like that?) related.

True story: My mom was pregnant with me when the first Friday the 13th was out. She saw it, being into horror movies n all (Gee I wonder where I get it from...) and thought the name "Jason" was pretty neat. Of course, as you all know, he was only mentioned by named in the first, so my dear ol' mom had no way of knowing that in just a few years "Jason" would turn from just being a name to one of movie's most brutal serial killers. And I think that's why in some lame way the FT13 films are some of my favorites, even though I haven't seen all of them and heard that the ones in the middle (between 4-7) were REALLY stupid. I mean Jason Vorhees is, in a way, a badass. You can shoot, stab, cut, punch, blow up, shock, and send him into space and he keeps on tickin' man! Fuck yeah!

2. I saw "The Zohan" last week. I usually don't do new theater reviews on this blog unless they're stupid crappy movies (Ex: Prom Night), but I will quickly say this: Zohan rocked my face off! It's like old school Sandler is back, after making a bunch of weepy, family friendly stuff. I've been hearing that people didn't dig all the penis jokes, but basically Sandler, along with Robert Smigel and Judd Apatow, the co-writers, they're all really just adults with the minds of a 11 year old. "Tee hee hee penis. He's got a giant schlong. Ha-ha!" Of course, Zohan had it's serious moments, which I think saved it from everybody's "MUST KILL" list. But the craziest thing about this movie were the cameos. I mean you got Michael "LETS GET READY TO RUMMMMMBLE!!!!" Buffer as the villian! Dave Matthews as a red neck racist wearing a fake mustache! Mariah Carey talking about bluetooth technology!! It's like wha???? I kept waiting for Bill O'Reilly to come along as the Grand Wizard of the K.K.K, not that that would be too far off. Anyway, Zohan ruled.

I also saw "Speed Racer", which was an ok movie. It was pretty to look at, but the story was a bit rough to follow. And since it was made by "The Matrix" dudes, there were a lot of slo-mo jumping.

3. So they turned "What's Happening!" into a movie and it came out today! It's weird that Kayne West got the role of Roger and-

Wait. I read my notes wrong. My bad.

"The Happening", starring Marky Mark comes out today and it's directed by Mr. Night Schwhateverlong. And all the trailers are making a deal about this being a R-Rated movie. How sad is it that R-Rated movies are a big deal again. What is this, 1981? "Oh dear! This is a R-Rated cinema film! Young Johnny shall not be setting his peepers on this film, which I'm sure is filled with exposed female breasts and that red stuff called "blood". Oh my. We shall NOT be seeing that, I tell you what. Two for Kung-Fu Panda, please?"

4. Upcoming movie I'm excited for that isn't "The Dark Knight":
Hellboy 2

5. In case you missed it: I updated my review of "Lifeforce", the infamous movie where a naked alien chick walks around for 90% of the movie, so it was in dire need of screecaps, which I PAINSTAKINGLY did for you. The trouble I go through for you guys.

Coming up, God help me: High School Musical 2: This Time They're In Space! (Ok they're probably not in space, but there will probably be more annoying unnessesary songs, and I'll have to look at that ugly Sharpay's nose for another 2 hours. I'm sure about that.)

Thanks for reading!

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