I'm guessing no opinions=we want more Five For Fridays! So here ya go! Let's rock it like a hurricane, yo!
1. Oh! OH! OH!! OHHHH!! OH GOD YES!!!-Me and my darling fiancee went to the midnight screening of "Zach and Miri Make a Porno", which was just 18 shades of awesome. It felt like it was some sort of secret thing cause there weren't a lot of people there and thankfully no kids. I'm willing to bet there were kids during the regular showings cause people are retarded. Anyway, I never been to a midnight screening of anything so it was a new experience for me. As for the movie, I thought it was awesome. I could've went without one part (literally) at the end. If you haven't seen it, I won't tell you. I'll let you be surprised like I was. I am mildly miffed at the critics though who said this was like any typical romantic comedy. Um, ok? Whatever. Like I said, people are retarded.
2. You Spin Me Right Round Baby-If you notice over there to the right, you'll see in my DVD watched listing I saw a film called "Hell on Wheels". My fiancee suggested it and asked me nicely to add it to my netflix. It was comfortably nestled betweent "C.H.U.D" and "Basket Case". Anyway, we watched it Wednesday night and it's a documentary about how roller derby made a comeback and the first team of girls to bring it back. It was pretty interesting. It started with a team in Austin and the four girls in charge wanted to turn the whole thing into some corporation and the players were employees, but the "employees" weren't happy with the situation so they said "knock it off or we walk", the "presidents" said no and they indeed walked and started their own, which set a path for the current state of derby where every skater is equal and stuff. It's pretty good. If you were curious about derby, you should look for this and check it out.
3. Coming Up Next On Showtime: Forrest Gump: The Series-How come "Crash" got turned into a TV show on Showtime? What is it about? Yes, I have Showtime and I could just watch it but...I don't want to. I think it's more fun trying to figure out what it's about. I'm gonna assume it's one of those anthology shows that tell different stories each week about a group of racist people who run across each other or something. Cause that's more or less what the movie was about. But I liked the movie, even though a lot of people didn't from what I read. And what role does Dennis Hopper play? Is he the Rod Sterling in this situation? Oh what the hell, I'll check out an episode.
4. Wait, It's NOT A Remake of the George C. Scott Horror Movie?-When I read the plot for the film "Changeling" I was confused. Then I heard it was based on a true story and I got even more confused. Let's take a look at this through the Jason scope, shall we?
A single mom finds that her son went missing in Los Angeles. After a month or so the L.A cops are like "We got him" and they deliever her a kid, but it's not her kid. The cops go "Yes it is, make him your son or we'll lock you up in an asylum!" but no, she says it's not her kid so they do indeed lock her up in an asylum. It turns out it really isn't her kid and the L.A cops were like "Um...we can't find him but instead of looking like idiots, let's grab some RANDOM kid and be like 'Hey lady, this is your kid' and hope SHE DOESN'T NOTICE! High five me, Jesus, I just struck oil!"
No offense to everyone involved, especially since this apparently "happened", but that sounds retarded. If I'm wrong about the story in any way, please let me know.
5. In Tribute-In the few weeks that I haven't done The Five, some people died. Including Rudy Ray Moore and Michael Crichton. I totally dug the Jurassic Park films (yes even parts 2 and 3), even though I'm not a big dinosaur nut like I know some people are. Looking at his credits, I didn't know he wrote "Twister" and "Coma" which are other films I've enjoyed. And I never watched "ER" cause medical dramas that don't feature Howie Mandel in a snowglobe don't do anything for me.
As for Rudy Ray Moore, I plan on paying a tribute to him later this month in the form of a brand spankin' new Mass Invasion! Me and my dear friends will be checking out "Dolemite", so stay tuned for that.
That'll do it. The new game/contest/whatever thingy will be posted a bit later. I doubt I'll have a prize but if no one participates I'll sweeten the deal with a little somethin-somethin.
-Jason
Showing posts with label Five For Friday. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Five For Friday. Show all posts
Friday, November 07, 2008
Friday, October 17, 2008
Five For Friday: October 17th, 2008
This edition of The Five is dedicated to my mom, who had a birthday yesterday! Aww...aren't I sweet?
1. Don't Be Religulous-We saw the Bill Maher movie "Religulous" last Saturday. The entire movie was just him questioning different beliefs but he was never mean about it, at least I don't think. He did make fun at different individuals, but it wasn't ever about their beliefs, so that's a plus side. What I liked about the movie was the certain movie clips or TV clips he'd insert to punctuate a point. If you are highly religious then you probably shouldn't see this movie. But if you are a fan of Bill's show "Real Time" then you should enjoy this movie.
2. America, Stop It Already!-Ok...maybe I was a bit harsh last week. Maybe you read my blog and said "Screw you Soto!" and just went and did what you wanted. So now I'm asking nicely. Don't let "Beverly Hills Chihuahua" be the number one movie for the third week in a row. Look! You got options this time! "W" opens! "Max Payne" opens! That Movie With The Black Chicks and Their Big Boobs (Oh and Dakota Fanning's Somehow Involved) open this weekend! Hell even the "Superbad" rip off "Sexdrive" opens this weekend! See one of those!! For the love of GOD DON'T SEE BEVERLY HILLS RAT AGAIN!!!!
Seriously, it's #91 on the Bottom 100. That don't make sense! UGH! My head...
3. THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!-We are now in Defcon 4. Or 5. Whatever.
They made a FOURTH Fast and the Furious movie. And it's called..."Fast & Furious".
Need proof?
Hug your loved ones, Armageddon is upon us.
4. Then There's This-Zac Efron Is Gonna Play Kevin Bacon's Role in The Remake of "Footloose". Zac Efron...director of "High School Musical"...remake of "Footloose"...I need a beer.
5. Speaking of Drunks-We are going to see "W." tomorrow. I have my doubt's that it's a real look into the life of George W. Bush, but just some made up account through the eyes of Oliver Stone. So expect cartoons to appear in the background for no reason and a lot of shaky camera movements.
Sorry if the majority of this Five was just me ranting and whining but you get what you pay for.
-Jason
1. Don't Be Religulous-We saw the Bill Maher movie "Religulous" last Saturday. The entire movie was just him questioning different beliefs but he was never mean about it, at least I don't think. He did make fun at different individuals, but it wasn't ever about their beliefs, so that's a plus side. What I liked about the movie was the certain movie clips or TV clips he'd insert to punctuate a point. If you are highly religious then you probably shouldn't see this movie. But if you are a fan of Bill's show "Real Time" then you should enjoy this movie.
2. America, Stop It Already!-Ok...maybe I was a bit harsh last week. Maybe you read my blog and said "Screw you Soto!" and just went and did what you wanted. So now I'm asking nicely. Don't let "Beverly Hills Chihuahua" be the number one movie for the third week in a row. Look! You got options this time! "W" opens! "Max Payne" opens! That Movie With The Black Chicks and Their Big Boobs (Oh and Dakota Fanning's Somehow Involved) open this weekend! Hell even the "Superbad" rip off "Sexdrive" opens this weekend! See one of those!! For the love of GOD DON'T SEE BEVERLY HILLS RAT AGAIN!!!!
Seriously, it's #91 on the Bottom 100. That don't make sense! UGH! My head...
3. THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!-We are now in Defcon 4. Or 5. Whatever.
They made a FOURTH Fast and the Furious movie. And it's called..."Fast & Furious".
Need proof?
Hug your loved ones, Armageddon is upon us.
4. Then There's This-Zac Efron Is Gonna Play Kevin Bacon's Role in The Remake of "Footloose". Zac Efron...director of "High School Musical"...remake of "Footloose"...I need a beer.
5. Speaking of Drunks-We are going to see "W." tomorrow. I have my doubt's that it's a real look into the life of George W. Bush, but just some made up account through the eyes of Oliver Stone. So expect cartoons to appear in the background for no reason and a lot of shaky camera movements.
Sorry if the majority of this Five was just me ranting and whining but you get what you pay for.
-Jason
Friday, October 10, 2008
Five For Friday: October 10th, 2008
This is what I call the catching up edition, since I'll be covering some things that happened, Jesus, almost two months ago already? Ugh. Where does all the time go? Oh, right AT&T stole it from me. Jerks.
Anyway...
1. Number 1 Rat-America, America, America...I'm so dissapointed in you. YOU made "Beverly Hills Chihuauha or However It's Spelled" the NUMBER ONE FUCKING MOVIE?? Are you insane?? Isn't Dark Knight still playing? I mean what the fuck? Ok so maybe there wasn't a WHOLE lot to choose from but still! Anything is better than that. You know what this means now? We're gonna get 10 more movies about talking animals singing about their heritage or some crap. Jeez, just shoot me now.
2. Bill & Jason's Excellent Movie Watching Day-Back in August (That seems so long ago now), as a going away present, my friend Bill hosted at his house a movie watching marathon, where we rented a shitload of movies that we've wanted to see, or wanted to show the other. So that fateful morning we hit two video stores and we rented and watched the following (Let's hope my memory is in tact):
Clerks 2-I actually own this but Bill hasn't seen it before. Of course it's the greatest movie ever (ok maybe that's a stretch but it's damn good) so he loved it.
D-Wars-I really don't remember this coming out in theaters but I think I know why. Jesus this movie is awful. It's about some dragons from old school Japan coming back, one good and one evil, and each dragon has a dragon master dude or something and there's something about a kid and a newspaper reporter and a cop. It totally sucked and I nearly threw it in the shredder but Bill reminded me he paid for the rental so I showed some restraint.
The Mist-Oh my God this movie was good. But...the ending. Oh god...the ending. Should I spoil? Eh I must get it out.
SPOILER FOR THE MIST!! SPOILER FOR THE MIST!! SPOILER FOR THE MIST!!
Jesus Christ could that be any more depressing? I mean Tom Jane shoots his own son, then five minutes later here comes the military to the rescue! I'm like Jesus that's horrible! Makes you wonder if he got put on trial or something. God that was horrible.
END SPOILER!
Still a good movie.
The Fog-Yeah, we got cutsey. Fog, Mist, haha. Anyway, I liked this movie but Bill didn't for some odd reason. I blame the monitor cause it had this weird darkness to it and it wouldn't get any brighter. And if you seen The Fog, the original in case you were wondering, you know it's kind of a dark movie, lighting wise. So I think he should give it a chance on a normal TV.
Snakes on a Plane-I wanted Bill to watch this classic masterpiece. He...didn't seem thrilled. Hm. I need a new best friend. Wake up bitch, you're my new best friend!
Postal-I don't know what to say about this. I'll save this movie for it's own post.
Mulhulland Drive-Bill never seen it. Bill saw it. Bill will never be the same again.
Feast-Since I seen this already, I decided to get some sleep in. Unfortuately so did Bill, so he missed it. He NEEDS to see this!
The Transporter-Awesome as always.
Inside-This is that French movie about the pregnant lady who's attacked one night by a crazy lady and fucked up shit happens. I recommend it totally.
Lost Boys 2-At this point it was the next day and Bill had to go to work, so we only watched the first hour of it. I don't know what I thought of it, it had it's up's and down's. One down is Corey Feldman's voice. Picture Christan Bale's Batman voice but tone it down half a notch.
So that was that night. I think we watched more but I'll be damned if I can remember them. Plus this number is getting a bit big anyway so let's move on.
3. Bill O'Reilly Made A Movie??-When I saw the ad's for "An American Carol" I thought I was making shit up. I mean it's a spoof type movie with a Michael Moore type guy in it? And Bill O'Reilly makes an apperance? Well, I found out since then that this movie is nothing more than Republican propoganda, which sucks cause they sucked in the director of "Airplane" and "The Naked Gun" who is awesome in my book. By the way, them idiots that make the "Blank Movies" should watch the Naked Gun series and see how a real spoof movie is done, dammit! Here's a quickie. Did you know that "Kingpin", the Woody Harrelson bowling movie, is more or less a parody/spoof of "The Natural"? Think about it.
4. Read After Burning-A couple of weeks ago I saw "Burn After Reading" and, honestly, I was a bit let down. It wasn't as funny as I thought it'd be. I did like Brad Pitt's turn as the stupid guy. But all the criss-crossing of characters made my head spin and it seemed like they made George Clooney crazy for no real reason, like he just had to be crazy for this situation. It was shocking when the one character killed the other character, oh and when the other character killed that other character. And why was the entire ending just told to us through dialouge? Couldn't they have showed us or did paragraphs or something? It was kinda weird. That's two weird endings the Cohen Brothers gave us.
5. Delete From Playlist-And this past weekend I saw "Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist", and I saw it with a shitload of teenagers, which maybe is what ruined the movie for me. Cause every 5 fuckin minutes I heard a bunch of teenage girls go "AWW" to EVERYTHING! It's like when I saw "Juno" and they went "EWWW" everything! What is it with Michael Cera movies that invoke that? And why can't he stick to "Superbad" type of movies? He was awesome in "Superbad"! Ok I guess I should explain my problem with "Nick and Norah". First off, it wasn't as funny as I thought it'd be. Normally movies that take place during an entire night, they go through funny crazy things. The only crazy thing I can think that happened was Nick meeting a homeless Andy Samburg. The rest was just Nick whining about his ex and his friends whining about his ex and how neat it is that everyone but Nick is gay and how Norah has a nice rack and is obviously the right choice for him but it takes them the ENTIRE movie to figure this out. Then there's the drunk girl. And the gum. Oh god that was awful, I refuse to think about that. Anyway, I guess I'm too damn old for this movie cause I hated it. BAH!! STUPID KIDS!! GET OFF MY LAWN!!!!
That'll do 'er. Sorry it's been forever since I did one of these. Hopefully I'll now get back on track.
-Jason
Anyway...
1. Number 1 Rat-America, America, America...I'm so dissapointed in you. YOU made "Beverly Hills Chihuauha or However It's Spelled" the NUMBER ONE FUCKING MOVIE?? Are you insane?? Isn't Dark Knight still playing? I mean what the fuck? Ok so maybe there wasn't a WHOLE lot to choose from but still! Anything is better than that. You know what this means now? We're gonna get 10 more movies about talking animals singing about their heritage or some crap. Jeez, just shoot me now.
2. Bill & Jason's Excellent Movie Watching Day-Back in August (That seems so long ago now), as a going away present, my friend Bill hosted at his house a movie watching marathon, where we rented a shitload of movies that we've wanted to see, or wanted to show the other. So that fateful morning we hit two video stores and we rented and watched the following (Let's hope my memory is in tact):
Clerks 2-I actually own this but Bill hasn't seen it before. Of course it's the greatest movie ever (ok maybe that's a stretch but it's damn good) so he loved it.
D-Wars-I really don't remember this coming out in theaters but I think I know why. Jesus this movie is awful. It's about some dragons from old school Japan coming back, one good and one evil, and each dragon has a dragon master dude or something and there's something about a kid and a newspaper reporter and a cop. It totally sucked and I nearly threw it in the shredder but Bill reminded me he paid for the rental so I showed some restraint.
The Mist-Oh my God this movie was good. But...the ending. Oh god...the ending. Should I spoil? Eh I must get it out.
SPOILER FOR THE MIST!! SPOILER FOR THE MIST!! SPOILER FOR THE MIST!!
Jesus Christ could that be any more depressing? I mean Tom Jane shoots his own son, then five minutes later here comes the military to the rescue! I'm like Jesus that's horrible! Makes you wonder if he got put on trial or something. God that was horrible.
END SPOILER!
Still a good movie.
The Fog-Yeah, we got cutsey. Fog, Mist, haha. Anyway, I liked this movie but Bill didn't for some odd reason. I blame the monitor cause it had this weird darkness to it and it wouldn't get any brighter. And if you seen The Fog, the original in case you were wondering, you know it's kind of a dark movie, lighting wise. So I think he should give it a chance on a normal TV.
Snakes on a Plane-I wanted Bill to watch this classic masterpiece. He...didn't seem thrilled. Hm. I need a new best friend. Wake up bitch, you're my new best friend!
Postal-I don't know what to say about this. I'll save this movie for it's own post.
Mulhulland Drive-Bill never seen it. Bill saw it. Bill will never be the same again.
Feast-Since I seen this already, I decided to get some sleep in. Unfortuately so did Bill, so he missed it. He NEEDS to see this!
The Transporter-Awesome as always.
Inside-This is that French movie about the pregnant lady who's attacked one night by a crazy lady and fucked up shit happens. I recommend it totally.
Lost Boys 2-At this point it was the next day and Bill had to go to work, so we only watched the first hour of it. I don't know what I thought of it, it had it's up's and down's. One down is Corey Feldman's voice. Picture Christan Bale's Batman voice but tone it down half a notch.
So that was that night. I think we watched more but I'll be damned if I can remember them. Plus this number is getting a bit big anyway so let's move on.
3. Bill O'Reilly Made A Movie??-When I saw the ad's for "An American Carol" I thought I was making shit up. I mean it's a spoof type movie with a Michael Moore type guy in it? And Bill O'Reilly makes an apperance? Well, I found out since then that this movie is nothing more than Republican propoganda, which sucks cause they sucked in the director of "Airplane" and "The Naked Gun" who is awesome in my book. By the way, them idiots that make the "Blank Movies" should watch the Naked Gun series and see how a real spoof movie is done, dammit! Here's a quickie. Did you know that "Kingpin", the Woody Harrelson bowling movie, is more or less a parody/spoof of "The Natural"? Think about it.
4. Read After Burning-A couple of weeks ago I saw "Burn After Reading" and, honestly, I was a bit let down. It wasn't as funny as I thought it'd be. I did like Brad Pitt's turn as the stupid guy. But all the criss-crossing of characters made my head spin and it seemed like they made George Clooney crazy for no real reason, like he just had to be crazy for this situation. It was shocking when the one character killed the other character, oh and when the other character killed that other character. And why was the entire ending just told to us through dialouge? Couldn't they have showed us or did paragraphs or something? It was kinda weird. That's two weird endings the Cohen Brothers gave us.
5. Delete From Playlist-And this past weekend I saw "Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist", and I saw it with a shitload of teenagers, which maybe is what ruined the movie for me. Cause every 5 fuckin minutes I heard a bunch of teenage girls go "AWW" to EVERYTHING! It's like when I saw "Juno" and they went "EWWW" everything! What is it with Michael Cera movies that invoke that? And why can't he stick to "Superbad" type of movies? He was awesome in "Superbad"! Ok I guess I should explain my problem with "Nick and Norah". First off, it wasn't as funny as I thought it'd be. Normally movies that take place during an entire night, they go through funny crazy things. The only crazy thing I can think that happened was Nick meeting a homeless Andy Samburg. The rest was just Nick whining about his ex and his friends whining about his ex and how neat it is that everyone but Nick is gay and how Norah has a nice rack and is obviously the right choice for him but it takes them the ENTIRE movie to figure this out. Then there's the drunk girl. And the gum. Oh god that was awful, I refuse to think about that. Anyway, I guess I'm too damn old for this movie cause I hated it. BAH!! STUPID KIDS!! GET OFF MY LAWN!!!!
That'll do 'er. Sorry it's been forever since I did one of these. Hopefully I'll now get back on track.
-Jason
Friday, August 22, 2008
Five For Friday: August 22nd, 2008
This Five for Friday is bought to you by The Guilty Pleasures Blog-A-Thon which ended it's ten day run on Wednesday. It was a huge success thanks to everyone that participated. So if you're one of those people, thank you so so much.
1. Kid Free Cinemas-
I read this article earlier this week, which I think was written in England, about how very young children should be banned from movie theaters. I hate to sound all anti-children but I have to agree with this. You don't know how many times I've been to the movie theaters and there were children that shouldn't be there to begin with. Like when I went to see "Prom Night", I swear a whole friggin family came to see that thing. I mean why would you do that? Granted, it's a shitty PG-13 horror movie but still. Kids shouldn't be there in the first place. So maybe some reasonable age limit should be imposed. Like maybe no one under the age of...oh....6? 7? That sounds reasonable.
2. "The Dark Knight" Kicks Ass And Takes Names-
How many weeks was "The Dark Knight" number one? 4? And interesting that the one film that took it down to number two was "Tropic Thunder". Now I really wanna see this.
3. "Death Race" Hate-
What's with all the hate on the Jason Statham film "Death Race"? I personally think it looks cool. Yeah it's a remake to a cult movie and the plot is probably nothing like it (original was about a cross country race where the participates had to kill as many people on the road as possible) but still. Seems cool to me. But there was tons of hate on "Stepbrothers" and I loved that freakin movie, so I dunno. I suddenly feel alone.
4. Speaking Of The Dark Knight:
And
5. LL Cool J IS...Dolemite?-
Another article I stumbled across was from Cracked.com, where the listed 6 movies that ALMOST got made. It's a very interesting read cause if you think movies are in a sad state now, you should thank your lucky stars.
That's it for this week! Any suggestions on what should be on The Five, email me at invasionofthebmovies at gmail dot com .
-Jason
1. Kid Free Cinemas-
I read this article earlier this week, which I think was written in England, about how very young children should be banned from movie theaters. I hate to sound all anti-children but I have to agree with this. You don't know how many times I've been to the movie theaters and there were children that shouldn't be there to begin with. Like when I went to see "Prom Night", I swear a whole friggin family came to see that thing. I mean why would you do that? Granted, it's a shitty PG-13 horror movie but still. Kids shouldn't be there in the first place. So maybe some reasonable age limit should be imposed. Like maybe no one under the age of...oh....6? 7? That sounds reasonable.
2. "The Dark Knight" Kicks Ass And Takes Names-
How many weeks was "The Dark Knight" number one? 4? And interesting that the one film that took it down to number two was "Tropic Thunder". Now I really wanna see this.
3. "Death Race" Hate-
What's with all the hate on the Jason Statham film "Death Race"? I personally think it looks cool. Yeah it's a remake to a cult movie and the plot is probably nothing like it (original was about a cross country race where the participates had to kill as many people on the road as possible) but still. Seems cool to me. But there was tons of hate on "Stepbrothers" and I loved that freakin movie, so I dunno. I suddenly feel alone.
4. Speaking Of The Dark Knight:
And
5. LL Cool J IS...Dolemite?-
Another article I stumbled across was from Cracked.com, where the listed 6 movies that ALMOST got made. It's a very interesting read cause if you think movies are in a sad state now, you should thank your lucky stars.
That's it for this week! Any suggestions on what should be on The Five, email me at invasionofthebmovies at gmail dot com .
-Jason
Friday, August 08, 2008
Five For Friday: August 8th
Hey! It's 8/8/08! What a lucky day or something? I dunno. I just know the olympics start tonight which means TV is gonna suck for the next two weeks. Guess what I'll be doing with my nights? No besides that. Yes. That. Anyway, onto the Five for this week.
1. Now the REAL Trilogy Is Complete-
Released this week on DVD is Starship Troopers 3. I haven't seen the first two. I know, I haven't seen one of the classic bad movies out there, I'm working on it, ok? Usually when I ask why another sequel was made to some crap movie, the usual answer is "cause of money". But did Starship Troopers AND it's sequel really make that much? Let's go see.
According to IMDb.com, Starship Troopers made $22,058,773 opening weekend, with a gross of $54,700,065 in the U.S. There's no info on it's sequel cause it was direct to video (unless Google is a piece of shit and can't find the info for me. Grr Google.) So let's just say that out of all the people that paid all that money to see it in theaters, maybe half liked it enough to check out the sequel so...doing some math...carry the one...add for pi...eat some pie...and I get, oh lets say, 500,000 dollars U.S. Compare THAT to The Dark Knight which is at 393,751,065 only after three weeks, and still getting larger...I'm gonna say my final answer is:
No. This sequel did NOT need to be made.
2. The One Girl In Japan You DON'T Wanna Fuck With-
Just watch this:
And tell me that is NOT the coolest thing ever in the entire fucking world. Just go ahead and try to tell me it's not. I dare you. I double dog dare you, mothafucker! Oops, sorry, turned into Samuel L. Jackson for a minute. My bad.
3. DAMMIT!-
I saw some previews for the upcoming movie "Mirrors" and was shocked to see Keifer Sutherland is in it. I really hate to say this but I can't picture Keifer as anything BUT Jack Bauer now. Especially since he acts the same in every movie since "24". Like that one movie "The Sentinal" where he was more or less Jack Bauer in movie format, which is funny cause a "24" movie is in the making.
So pretty much "Mirrors" is gonna be Jack Bauer in a horror situation. "DAMMIT! Ghost! Give me my son back!! Or I'll have to shoot you in the kneecaps! DAMMIT!!!"
Oh and how much money you wanna bet this was originally a Japanese/Chinese/whatever else film?
Place your bets! Place your bets! And...oh sorry. You lose. It totally is. Dammit.
4. Spooky LAMB-
Over at the LAMB, everyone picked their top ten horror films and the final ten is listed here. My list is as follows:
The Exorcist
The Thing
Poltergeist
Evil Dead 2
Feast
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (The Original Tobe Hooper Version)
Hatchet
Sleepaway Camp
House
Bubba Ho-Tep
I had a hard time with this one cause I didn't know which ones to put where and stuff. Someone listed Basket Case, which I've yet to see. I've heard so much about it so now I just HAVE to check it out. Dammit!
5. Stoners Vs Sisters-
I love that Pineapple Express and Sisterhood of the Yo-Yo Pants Crying In Kleenx 2: This Time They're On The Same Cycle is opening up on the same weekend. Even though I'm sure Dark Knight is still gonna be number one, probably damn near until it's pulled from theaters (in 8 months), it'll still be interesting to see who wins this weekend: stoners or women. Much like a few months back when it was Wanted vs WALL-E (I believe) and WALL-E won that match. I should think to look ahead to see when two completely different films open up and set up a death match to see who comes out on top. That'd be funny.
By the way, screw crying women while eating ice cream! Go see Pineapple Express! Woot!
That's all I wrote. Peace!
-Jason
1. Now the REAL Trilogy Is Complete-
Released this week on DVD is Starship Troopers 3. I haven't seen the first two. I know, I haven't seen one of the classic bad movies out there, I'm working on it, ok? Usually when I ask why another sequel was made to some crap movie, the usual answer is "cause of money". But did Starship Troopers AND it's sequel really make that much? Let's go see.
According to IMDb.com, Starship Troopers made $22,058,773 opening weekend, with a gross of $54,700,065 in the U.S. There's no info on it's sequel cause it was direct to video (unless Google is a piece of shit and can't find the info for me. Grr Google.) So let's just say that out of all the people that paid all that money to see it in theaters, maybe half liked it enough to check out the sequel so...doing some math...carry the one...add for pi...eat some pie...and I get, oh lets say, 500,000 dollars U.S. Compare THAT to The Dark Knight which is at 393,751,065 only after three weeks, and still getting larger...I'm gonna say my final answer is:
No. This sequel did NOT need to be made.
2. The One Girl In Japan You DON'T Wanna Fuck With-
Just watch this:
And tell me that is NOT the coolest thing ever in the entire fucking world. Just go ahead and try to tell me it's not. I dare you. I double dog dare you, mothafucker! Oops, sorry, turned into Samuel L. Jackson for a minute. My bad.
3. DAMMIT!-
I saw some previews for the upcoming movie "Mirrors" and was shocked to see Keifer Sutherland is in it. I really hate to say this but I can't picture Keifer as anything BUT Jack Bauer now. Especially since he acts the same in every movie since "24". Like that one movie "The Sentinal" where he was more or less Jack Bauer in movie format, which is funny cause a "24" movie is in the making.
So pretty much "Mirrors" is gonna be Jack Bauer in a horror situation. "DAMMIT! Ghost! Give me my son back!! Or I'll have to shoot you in the kneecaps! DAMMIT!!!"
Oh and how much money you wanna bet this was originally a Japanese/Chinese/whatever else film?
Place your bets! Place your bets! And...oh sorry. You lose. It totally is. Dammit.
4. Spooky LAMB-
Over at the LAMB, everyone picked their top ten horror films and the final ten is listed here. My list is as follows:
The Exorcist
The Thing
Poltergeist
Evil Dead 2
Feast
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (The Original Tobe Hooper Version)
Hatchet
Sleepaway Camp
House
Bubba Ho-Tep
I had a hard time with this one cause I didn't know which ones to put where and stuff. Someone listed Basket Case, which I've yet to see. I've heard so much about it so now I just HAVE to check it out. Dammit!
5. Stoners Vs Sisters-
I love that Pineapple Express and Sisterhood of the Yo-Yo Pants Crying In Kleenx 2: This Time They're On The Same Cycle is opening up on the same weekend. Even though I'm sure Dark Knight is still gonna be number one, probably damn near until it's pulled from theaters (in 8 months), it'll still be interesting to see who wins this weekend: stoners or women. Much like a few months back when it was Wanted vs WALL-E (I believe) and WALL-E won that match. I should think to look ahead to see when two completely different films open up and set up a death match to see who comes out on top. That'd be funny.
By the way, screw crying women while eating ice cream! Go see Pineapple Express! Woot!
That's all I wrote. Peace!
-Jason
Friday, August 01, 2008
Five For Friday: August 1st, 2008
OOoooo...I'm typing this...with my mind!! Cause I'm not home right now! Isn't that weird? Yep, I'm presently on my way to Indianapolis as this gets posted so I can rock out to the sweet sounds of Radiohead in concert. Fa-sho I'll have stories or whatever when I get back. Until then, here's your Five!
1. Inside "Inside"-
Earlier this week I watched the French horror film "Inside". Quick plot summary with hopefully no spoilers.
Sarah is a photographer who's pregnant. She got in a car accident which killed her husband/baby daddy. Four months later, she's about to pop any minute now. While at home, waiting it out by herself cause she's all emo now, a weird mysterious woman shows up and demands to be let in. 5-0 is called but they see nothing. After popping some (safe) sleeping pills, Sarah falls asleep and weirdo lady breaks in. From that point on, it's literally one fucked up moment to the next.
I'm gonna stop there cause you should see it at least once. Unless you can't handle a lot of stabbing and blood and just overall crazy fucked up shit happening to a pregnant lady. From the instant Sarah wakes up till the end, it's all in real time (from what I recall). Basically, if you've seen "High Tension" you kinda know what to expect (without the twist ending...well there was KIND of a twist to "Inside" but overall not really).
But if you like/love cats, avoid this movie at all costs.
2. Jason Is Completely Out of The Loop: Part 3-
After discovering what "Dexter" and "The Watchmen" is, I just learned there's a popular book series about vampires, the first one being "Twilight". Apparently a movie is being made of this:
The movie looks "meh" but apparently there's a hugenerd following to this series, so I'm sure they're all excited. Me? Give me Harry Potter.
The only reason I'm mentioning this is in my paper on Thursday there was a mention about all of this and they had a picture of the chick that wrote the series and all I can say is Yamina-yamina-yamina:
Although, she looks like a vampire herself. Hmm...either way I'd like to stab her with my wooden stake. HI-OH!!!
3. I Find You Guilty!-
Coming up in about two weeks, I'm gonna devote ten days talking about my guilty pleasure films and talk about each film individually on each day. Also in that ten days, I'm gonna post lists my friends/mass invaders made up, ON TOP OF links to other people's blogs (Still down with OPB?) from my fellow LAMB's to their blog posts about their guilty pleasures. All of that is gonna start on Monday, August 11th, which is going to come right after...
4. The Three Year Anniversary Special!-
Yes! Starting today, and going all the way till August 10th, I will be celebrating the site's three year anniversary. I'll make number 5 the story on all the dates involved in creating the site three years ago so it makes sense. In case you didn't see the post earlier, I'm running a contest and I hope lots of people enter. I don't see why not, it's easy as pie. Well...no. Pie's kinda hard to make. It's easy...like Sunday morning? Whatever, it's easy. One quick email, shouldn't take no more than 10-15 seconds, and taa-da! You're in like...Ok enough of these similes.
5. In The Beginning...-
Ok, so here's the convoluted story on how the site you all know and love came to be. Way back in Summer of 2005 I was simultaniously reading two B-Movie/Bad movie sites:
Badmovies.org and The Agony Booth. (Links found to the right) I was obsessed and read everything in both sites archives. I got done with Badmovies.org's and was like "Hm...". Then I thought back to my current movie watching project that I was running then, called Friday Night Video Review. What FNVR was, I would go to the video store each Friday, and pick a movie that I've never seen before and watch it, then write about that movie and my thoughts. It was a proto-type to Invasion of the B Movies, but I did good movies as well. Soon enough I started to realize that my reviews on bad movies were way better and possibly funnier than my good movie reviews, which were just me talking about what happened in the movie and then me going "It was awesome. Four stars" the end. BORING!
Then on August 1st, 2005, my friend Bobbie sent me a little movie called "Dead Alive" which I watched and added to FNVR. Later that week, on August 7th, I would finally get the idea to just go ahead and abandon FNVR and start up a bad movie review site. After spending hours thinking up a name (I honestly don't know where it came from. I guess I was drawing inspiration on old sci-fi movies or something) I created it. The next day, on payday, I bought the .com name and the rest, as they say, is history.
So from August 8th till August 12th (or so) I pretty much uploaded all my b-movie reviews from FNVR to what I now call "the site". This included "Dead Alive", "Rodentz", "Gigli", "Swept Away", "House of the Dead", "Cabin Fever", and "Tomie", among others I'm sure I'm forgetting, while at the same time I was watching every bad movie I could get my hands on and reviewing it for this brand spankin' new site. Those reviews ended up being "Warrior of the Lost World", "Inflated", "Frogs", and "Sleepaway Camp", also among others I'm sure I forgot right now.
So now here I am three years later with a cult following (how ironic), and the biggest recognition I've gotten since then was the webmaster at Badmovies.org, Andrew, posted a link to my site in his link section. Then of course the LAMB thing happened, so I think the minor following I got is from one of the two sites, which I am grateful for. Woot and such.
So that was the long boring history of Invasion of the B Movies. And now I'm off for my annual viewing of "Dead Alive".
Invasion of the B Movies:
Kicking Ass For the Lord Since 2005
-Jason
1. Inside "Inside"-
Earlier this week I watched the French horror film "Inside". Quick plot summary with hopefully no spoilers.
Sarah is a photographer who's pregnant. She got in a car accident which killed her husband/baby daddy. Four months later, she's about to pop any minute now. While at home, waiting it out by herself cause she's all emo now, a weird mysterious woman shows up and demands to be let in. 5-0 is called but they see nothing. After popping some (safe) sleeping pills, Sarah falls asleep and weirdo lady breaks in. From that point on, it's literally one fucked up moment to the next.
I'm gonna stop there cause you should see it at least once. Unless you can't handle a lot of stabbing and blood and just overall crazy fucked up shit happening to a pregnant lady. From the instant Sarah wakes up till the end, it's all in real time (from what I recall). Basically, if you've seen "High Tension" you kinda know what to expect (without the twist ending...well there was KIND of a twist to "Inside" but overall not really).
But if you like/love cats, avoid this movie at all costs.
2. Jason Is Completely Out of The Loop: Part 3-
After discovering what "Dexter" and "The Watchmen" is, I just learned there's a popular book series about vampires, the first one being "Twilight". Apparently a movie is being made of this:
The movie looks "meh" but apparently there's a huge
The only reason I'm mentioning this is in my paper on Thursday there was a mention about all of this and they had a picture of the chick that wrote the series and all I can say is Yamina-yamina-yamina:
Although, she looks like a vampire herself. Hmm...either way I'd like to stab her with my wooden stake. HI-OH!!!
3. I Find You Guilty!-
Coming up in about two weeks, I'm gonna devote ten days talking about my guilty pleasure films and talk about each film individually on each day. Also in that ten days, I'm gonna post lists my friends/mass invaders made up, ON TOP OF links to other people's blogs (Still down with OPB?) from my fellow LAMB's to their blog posts about their guilty pleasures. All of that is gonna start on Monday, August 11th, which is going to come right after...
4. The Three Year Anniversary Special!-
Yes! Starting today, and going all the way till August 10th, I will be celebrating the site's three year anniversary. I'll make number 5 the story on all the dates involved in creating the site three years ago so it makes sense. In case you didn't see the post earlier, I'm running a contest and I hope lots of people enter. I don't see why not, it's easy as pie. Well...no. Pie's kinda hard to make. It's easy...like Sunday morning? Whatever, it's easy. One quick email, shouldn't take no more than 10-15 seconds, and taa-da! You're in like...Ok enough of these similes.
5. In The Beginning...-
Ok, so here's the convoluted story on how the site you all know and love came to be. Way back in Summer of 2005 I was simultaniously reading two B-Movie/Bad movie sites:
Badmovies.org and The Agony Booth. (Links found to the right) I was obsessed and read everything in both sites archives. I got done with Badmovies.org's and was like "Hm...". Then I thought back to my current movie watching project that I was running then, called Friday Night Video Review. What FNVR was, I would go to the video store each Friday, and pick a movie that I've never seen before and watch it, then write about that movie and my thoughts. It was a proto-type to Invasion of the B Movies, but I did good movies as well. Soon enough I started to realize that my reviews on bad movies were way better and possibly funnier than my good movie reviews, which were just me talking about what happened in the movie and then me going "It was awesome. Four stars" the end. BORING!
Then on August 1st, 2005, my friend Bobbie sent me a little movie called "Dead Alive" which I watched and added to FNVR. Later that week, on August 7th, I would finally get the idea to just go ahead and abandon FNVR and start up a bad movie review site. After spending hours thinking up a name (I honestly don't know where it came from. I guess I was drawing inspiration on old sci-fi movies or something) I created it. The next day, on payday, I bought the .com name and the rest, as they say, is history.
So from August 8th till August 12th (or so) I pretty much uploaded all my b-movie reviews from FNVR to what I now call "the site". This included "Dead Alive", "Rodentz", "Gigli", "Swept Away", "House of the Dead", "Cabin Fever", and "Tomie", among others I'm sure I'm forgetting, while at the same time I was watching every bad movie I could get my hands on and reviewing it for this brand spankin' new site. Those reviews ended up being "Warrior of the Lost World", "Inflated", "Frogs", and "Sleepaway Camp", also among others I'm sure I forgot right now.
So now here I am three years later with a cult following (how ironic), and the biggest recognition I've gotten since then was the webmaster at Badmovies.org, Andrew, posted a link to my site in his link section. Then of course the LAMB thing happened, so I think the minor following I got is from one of the two sites, which I am grateful for. Woot and such.
So that was the long boring history of Invasion of the B Movies. And now I'm off for my annual viewing of "Dead Alive".
Invasion of the B Movies:
Kicking Ass For the Lord Since 2005
-Jason
Friday, July 25, 2008
Five For Friday: July 25th
Man, wasn't Dark Knight friggin awesome? I read only one bad review but that guy seemed to be an asshole about the whole thing so I'm not even gonna link to the review I read. Instead let's do The Five!
1. Two Thumbs Down!-
The iconic show At The Movies with (Insert Different Names Here), at least as we know it, is going bye-bye. The current co-host Richard Roeper said that he and famed movie critic Roger Ebert are being replaced by younger movie critics, most likely the idiots that see "Meet Dave" and say things like "The most fun you'll have at the movies!" "Wonderfully funny and uplifting!" "A+!". Ebert hasn't been on the show since he got cancer and been getting treatments for it, which means he isn't able to talk, but he's still been going to the movies and writing reviews. Supposedly, the new At The Movies With Two Assholes is gonna be more or less a movie version of "Entertainment Tonight", so lots of fast editing and flashy graphics and stupid headlines like "Kate At The Gate" if she were to star in the Ninth Gate sequel or something. Ugh, just shoot me now.
Supposedly, Roeper is gonna create his own show where it'll be kinda like what he and Ebert did. So there's SOME hope.
2. My MST3K Will Go On-
In case you're not in the know, most of the original MST3K crew has gotten together and made a new thing called Cinematic Titanic, which is pretty much like MST3K but...on a ship? I guess. I only got their first episode "The Oozing Skull", which was hit or miss with me. I liked the riffing but then they did their version of the host segments, which felt awkward cause they still did them in "Shadowrama". And one host segment I could do without. Anyway, they have their second episode out "The Doomsday Machine" which I haven't seen yet.
But coming out August 7th is their third episode "The Wasp Woman", which is a movie I (believe) I own, so I'll probably check it out (Maybe review it? Hmm...) before getting this episode. Here's the trailer for it:
3. I REALLY Want To Believe-
I was a HUGE X-Files fan back in the day (The Scully and Mulder days, not the weird shit without either, or from what I hear NEITHER, of them). My favorite episodes were more about the weird shit instead of the government conspiricy crap (Although Smoking Man is possibly the best villain ever in anything). Oh and the goofy episodes, which beleive it or not, had it's share.
Anyway, the point of this number is I can't seem to get excited by the new movie. Like, I'll probably check it out at some point, but I think I can wait until it's out on DVD. Maybe cause I wasn't THAT impressed with the previous movie, which I didn't seem to understand (Something about bees and going to Antartica). I'll probably have to give that first movie a chance.
Now why couldn't have the Lone Gunmen get their own movie? I loved those guys? (Anybody seen that show?)
4. Yes, You're Fighting A Mummy AGAIN!-
I'm really not excited by the third Mummy movie. I liked the first two just fine, but did there really need to be a third movie? Plus anytime I see any trailers or TV spots for it, it's full of this:
"Here we go AGAIN!"
"Good job Dad, you raised ANOTHER mummy!"
"I fought TWO mummy's before this THIRD one. You know...those two other times?"
"Remember the two previous times when we fought mummies? And we're here doing it again a third time? WOW!"
Ok I get it! This is the third time you're meeting a mummy, stop fuckin' referencing it! You didn't see John McClane go on and on about having do that shit 2, 3, or 4 times EVERY OTHER MINUTE! He made ONE reference and left it at that. Just shut up, Brendan Fraiser!
PS: I don't hate Brendand Fraiser, I quite like the guy. He was fuckin Encino Man, man! There are a lot of other people, and I do mean A LOT, that like to hate on him but I don't understand where it stems from.
5. And Then This Happened-
A friend of mine told me about this really cool podcast/internet radio show (someone explain to me what the difference is?) that talks about underground horror and cult movies, along with interesting foreign films, like something I learned about from that show called "gaillos", which are Italian thriller films that normally feature the three B's: Blood, Boobs, and Black gloves.
The name of the show is Cinema Diabolica and you should give at least one episode a listen. Any will do really. Their first episode had them listing their 10 favorite horror movies and I got some new titles to check out from their list (They also included a lot that I already knew about, I'm not TOTALLY out of the loop).
Honorary Number Mention:
I wanted to mention this quickly. Over at the LAMB, we're doing this thing where we do our own damn AFI (Not the band with mascara) lists. The one that just ended was about action movies and you can see the winner's here. As for my picks, here they are:
Shoot 'Em Up
Die Hard
Lethal Weapon
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Batman Begins
The Goonies
The Bourne Identity
Hot Fuzz
Rambo: First Blood Part 2
Cellular
Seriously, how did Shoot 'Em Up NOT get at least in the top ten? That movie's just stupid crazy with action. Oh well. The next category is horror and I was all over that bad boy. When that's announced, I'll let you know.
Well, that's it. I got some stuff coming up in regards to my three year anniversary so please stay tuned to check that out!
-Jason
1. Two Thumbs Down!-
The iconic show At The Movies with (Insert Different Names Here), at least as we know it, is going bye-bye. The current co-host Richard Roeper said that he and famed movie critic Roger Ebert are being replaced by younger movie critics, most likely the idiots that see "Meet Dave" and say things like "The most fun you'll have at the movies!" "Wonderfully funny and uplifting!" "A+!". Ebert hasn't been on the show since he got cancer and been getting treatments for it, which means he isn't able to talk, but he's still been going to the movies and writing reviews. Supposedly, the new At The Movies With Two Assholes is gonna be more or less a movie version of "Entertainment Tonight", so lots of fast editing and flashy graphics and stupid headlines like "Kate At The Gate" if she were to star in the Ninth Gate sequel or something. Ugh, just shoot me now.
Supposedly, Roeper is gonna create his own show where it'll be kinda like what he and Ebert did. So there's SOME hope.
2. My MST3K Will Go On-
In case you're not in the know, most of the original MST3K crew has gotten together and made a new thing called Cinematic Titanic, which is pretty much like MST3K but...on a ship? I guess. I only got their first episode "The Oozing Skull", which was hit or miss with me. I liked the riffing but then they did their version of the host segments, which felt awkward cause they still did them in "Shadowrama". And one host segment I could do without. Anyway, they have their second episode out "The Doomsday Machine" which I haven't seen yet.
But coming out August 7th is their third episode "The Wasp Woman", which is a movie I (believe) I own, so I'll probably check it out (Maybe review it? Hmm...) before getting this episode. Here's the trailer for it:
3. I REALLY Want To Believe-
I was a HUGE X-Files fan back in the day (The Scully and Mulder days, not the weird shit without either, or from what I hear NEITHER, of them). My favorite episodes were more about the weird shit instead of the government conspiricy crap (Although Smoking Man is possibly the best villain ever in anything). Oh and the goofy episodes, which beleive it or not, had it's share.
Anyway, the point of this number is I can't seem to get excited by the new movie. Like, I'll probably check it out at some point, but I think I can wait until it's out on DVD. Maybe cause I wasn't THAT impressed with the previous movie, which I didn't seem to understand (Something about bees and going to Antartica). I'll probably have to give that first movie a chance.
Now why couldn't have the Lone Gunmen get their own movie? I loved those guys? (Anybody seen that show?)
4. Yes, You're Fighting A Mummy AGAIN!-
I'm really not excited by the third Mummy movie. I liked the first two just fine, but did there really need to be a third movie? Plus anytime I see any trailers or TV spots for it, it's full of this:
"Here we go AGAIN!"
"Good job Dad, you raised ANOTHER mummy!"
"I fought TWO mummy's before this THIRD one. You know...those two other times?"
"Remember the two previous times when we fought mummies? And we're here doing it again a third time? WOW!"
Ok I get it! This is the third time you're meeting a mummy, stop fuckin' referencing it! You didn't see John McClane go on and on about having do that shit 2, 3, or 4 times EVERY OTHER MINUTE! He made ONE reference and left it at that. Just shut up, Brendan Fraiser!
PS: I don't hate Brendand Fraiser, I quite like the guy. He was fuckin Encino Man, man! There are a lot of other people, and I do mean A LOT, that like to hate on him but I don't understand where it stems from.
5. And Then This Happened-
A friend of mine told me about this really cool podcast/internet radio show (someone explain to me what the difference is?) that talks about underground horror and cult movies, along with interesting foreign films, like something I learned about from that show called "gaillos", which are Italian thriller films that normally feature the three B's: Blood, Boobs, and Black gloves.
The name of the show is Cinema Diabolica and you should give at least one episode a listen. Any will do really. Their first episode had them listing their 10 favorite horror movies and I got some new titles to check out from their list (They also included a lot that I already knew about, I'm not TOTALLY out of the loop).
Honorary Number Mention:
I wanted to mention this quickly. Over at the LAMB, we're doing this thing where we do our own damn AFI (Not the band with mascara) lists. The one that just ended was about action movies and you can see the winner's here. As for my picks, here they are:
Shoot 'Em Up
Die Hard
Lethal Weapon
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Batman Begins
The Goonies
The Bourne Identity
Hot Fuzz
Rambo: First Blood Part 2
Cellular
Seriously, how did Shoot 'Em Up NOT get at least in the top ten? That movie's just stupid crazy with action. Oh well. The next category is horror and I was all over that bad boy. When that's announced, I'll let you know.
Well, that's it. I got some stuff coming up in regards to my three year anniversary so please stay tuned to check that out!
-Jason
Friday, July 18, 2008
Five For Friday: July 18th, 2008
I'm gonna try to make these 5 things NOT about The Dark Knight, which I'm DYING to see!! UGH!!! Ok anyway.
1. I Learned What A "The Watchmen" Is-
Apparently there's somecomic book sorry GRAPHIC NOVEL called Watchmen or something and it has it's fair share of fanboys, most of who seem to be divided when it comes to this movie. Some are like "HELL YEAH" and others are like "FUCK NO!". I have never heard of any of this so I'm just whatever about it. Here's the trailer:
2. EW.com Finally Explains "Donnie Darko"-
So at Entertainment Weekly's website, they had a feature about 22 of the "best" twist endings in movies. You probably wanna check out the site but is afraid of having something spoiled for you, but have no fear. They have a special button you gotta press to reveal the twist. If it's a movie you haven't seen yet and you don't want it spoiled, you can just click next to see the next movie. I didn't know that one magician movie with Huge Jackman (I get that and The Illusionist mixed up so I'm not sure which is which.) had a twist ending. Now I guess I gotta see it.
Anyway, I get to Donnie Darko and I didn't think that had that big of a twist ending but I read it anyway and it said that Donnie DID in fact go back in time to save his family and friends and even the world or something. Funny, cause anytime I did any research on that movie, I couldn't find anyone that supported that theory. Some peopel said HE didn't travel in time, some said the entire world BUT him did or something, I don't know what. I literally spent hours on the internet read up on that movie when it was over. To quote Adam "It's like Eraserhead for teenagers".
3. Hellboy 2: HELL YEAH!-I saw Hellboy 2 Sunday night. It freakin' rocked! And I really had now idea that Seth MacFarlane was the voice of Johann whatever, the steam/mist guy in the divers outfit. Good work Seth. Good work. I wonder if he does the voice of the VW bug in those commercials? Hmm...
4. Reminder: I MIGHT Be In Step Up 2 The Streets-Step Up 2 The Streets is out on DVD. I mentioned it a few times here that I MIGHT be in that movie, possibly at the ending credits. I still have to see it for myself to know for sure. If anyone here WANTS to see it and they see the following video in the ending credits, please let me know.
(Keep in mind I did that as a joke, I didn't expect to be taken seriously.)
5. Cutting Costs-Due to me moving next month, I have to cut some costs around here. Unfortunately, that means my movie expenses are gonna get severed. So no more Netflix or movie rentals (at least ones I gotta pay for, I still get free ones now and then) for awhile. So, I'm sorry to say, I won't be joining in on the LAMB Movie of the Month this, and possibly next, month (Unless next months is a movie I own already). And I won't be doing the Final Girl Film Club, which sucks cause I only did one. Oh well. Hopefully this all will resume in September or October the latest.
That's it. Hopefully I'll get to see Dark Knight this weekend, but we'll see since I'm cutting corners now. Maybe that'll be the last movie I'll see in theaters for awhile.
Oh and Happy Birthday to my friend Bill! He's gonna be 28 on the 20th! WOO!
-Jason
1. I Learned What A "The Watchmen" Is-
Apparently there's some
2. EW.com Finally Explains "Donnie Darko"-
So at Entertainment Weekly's website, they had a feature about 22 of the "best" twist endings in movies. You probably wanna check out the site but is afraid of having something spoiled for you, but have no fear. They have a special button you gotta press to reveal the twist. If it's a movie you haven't seen yet and you don't want it spoiled, you can just click next to see the next movie. I didn't know that one magician movie with Huge Jackman (I get that and The Illusionist mixed up so I'm not sure which is which.) had a twist ending. Now I guess I gotta see it.
Anyway, I get to Donnie Darko and I didn't think that had that big of a twist ending but I read it anyway and it said that Donnie DID in fact go back in time to save his family and friends and even the world or something. Funny, cause anytime I did any research on that movie, I couldn't find anyone that supported that theory. Some peopel said HE didn't travel in time, some said the entire world BUT him did or something, I don't know what. I literally spent hours on the internet read up on that movie when it was over. To quote Adam "It's like Eraserhead for teenagers".
3. Hellboy 2: HELL YEAH!-I saw Hellboy 2 Sunday night. It freakin' rocked! And I really had now idea that Seth MacFarlane was the voice of Johann whatever, the steam/mist guy in the divers outfit. Good work Seth. Good work. I wonder if he does the voice of the VW bug in those commercials? Hmm...
4. Reminder: I MIGHT Be In Step Up 2 The Streets-Step Up 2 The Streets is out on DVD. I mentioned it a few times here that I MIGHT be in that movie, possibly at the ending credits. I still have to see it for myself to know for sure. If anyone here WANTS to see it and they see the following video in the ending credits, please let me know.
(Keep in mind I did that as a joke, I didn't expect to be taken seriously.)
5. Cutting Costs-Due to me moving next month, I have to cut some costs around here. Unfortunately, that means my movie expenses are gonna get severed. So no more Netflix or movie rentals (at least ones I gotta pay for, I still get free ones now and then) for awhile. So, I'm sorry to say, I won't be joining in on the LAMB Movie of the Month this, and possibly next, month (Unless next months is a movie I own already). And I won't be doing the Final Girl Film Club, which sucks cause I only did one. Oh well. Hopefully this all will resume in September or October the latest.
That's it. Hopefully I'll get to see Dark Knight this weekend, but we'll see since I'm cutting corners now. Maybe that'll be the last movie I'll see in theaters for awhile.
Oh and Happy Birthday to my friend Bill! He's gonna be 28 on the 20th! WOO!
-Jason
Friday, July 11, 2008
Five For Friday: July 11, 2008
Time for The Five! After it's one week hiatus! Or holiday. Whatever.
1. Happy Birthday, America!-
Last week was Independence Day, which is why there wasn't a Five then. When it comes to movies, there are very few relating to it. Of course there's "Independence Day" starring Will Smith & Bill Pullman about aliens deciding to butt rape us on our most treasured holiday. So it's up to the Fresh Prince and Seth Brundle to rape the aliens back! (That sounded weird. I'm sorry.) This film gets a lot of flack for some reason but dammit I like it. Sorry to say this, movie snobs all over the world, but IT'S A MOVIE WHERE YOU CAN TURN YOUR BRAIN OFF or whatever. Yeah, there are probably things that don't make sense like how a human computer is compatable with an alien computer and whatnot. But the aliens blowing shit up and the flying and the shooting and stuff is just cool.
The other 4th of July-related film that I can think of just happens to be a movie I reviewed back in 2006, called "Uncle Sam". If you wanna know what it's about, check out the review.
2. You Said "Cock" Huh-huh-huh-
I saw Hancock last Sunday. it's offical: either I'm the weirdest movie lover/goer in the world, or everyone else in the world is cause I freakin' loved this movie. I'm not exactly sure what many people's problem with it was, but I liked it cause it was a superhero movie that wasn't based on any type of comicbook. It was about a dude with powers that was a drunk and sorta homeless who saved people but the people weren't grateful cause he would destroy shit in the process. In comes Jason Bateman, who needed rescuing cause his car was stuck on a train track and a train was coming. This happened to me and a friend once and it was a pretty scary thing. Luckily, we got out before the train come. Yes, sadly, Will Smith didn't fly in and throw my car up in the air and smashed the train. Anyway, Jason Bateman turns Hancock's attitude around and now he's loved and stuff. Then there's a huge fuckin' plot twist that nobody in the theater expected cause everyone literally went "GASP!" when it was revealed. There were actual villains and stuff. I dunno, I liked it. Dammit.
3. Isn't It Ironic...Don't Ya Think?-
Bill Corbett was a performer and writer on "Mystery Science Theater 3000" for the last 3 or 4 years of the show. Now he's doing RiffTrax with Mike Nelson and fellow MST3K performer and writer Kevin Murphy. His other job is writing screenplays, which he wrote with a friend of his and it was titled "Starship Dave", and it was about an alien who comes to Earth in a Spaceship that looks like a human.
Well, the Hollywood machine got their grubby hands on it, changed the title, and gave the script to Eddie Murphey and "Norbit" director whoever that dude is and now we get "Meet Dave". I'm 90% sure none of this is what Bill had in mind.
Oddly enough, I kinda chuckled at a moment in the sneak preview/trailer:
The part when he's shaking hands with the one dude. I couldn't help myself. Maybe it won't be THAT bad...eh who am I kidding? Sorry, Bill.
4. Speaking Of MST3K-
I want this! The episodes aren't announced yet. There was a rumor that "Laserblast" and "Werewolf" was gonna be on it, but probably not. It's currently available for pre-order
which if you do through that link, I'll say to you "Thank you very much".
5. Two Quickie DVD Reviews-
As you no doubt noticed over there to the right under the DVD's I've Watched section, I saw "Be Kind Rewind" & "The Onion Movie".
First, "Be Kind Rewind". Yet again, maybe I'm a weirdo but I loved this movie. Granted, I think Michel Gondry's a genius and all of his movies are visually stunning, which was NOT a complaint everyone had. The complaints that I did read was some of the following:
-What's up with it being a VHS store?
Well, it is mentioned in the movie that they are probably the last VHS rental place when everyone else went to DVD's. But, to me, the store was kind of a character, like how many people say the van in "Little Miss Sunshine" was a character. It had a charm that you don't seem too often in this fast paced modern world. It was old, run down, and you can only find old rundown things inside it. I happened to like places like that. Eventually, Danny Glover's character tried to make the switch to DVD, but everyone thought it was a bad idea. I like DVD's as much as the next guy, but VHS does have a old charm to it, to me anyway. Since I use to have a shitload of VHS movies back in the day.
-Jack Black was annoying.
Actually, this is said about him in most of his movies. He got on my nerves only one time and it was towards the end when he wouldn't let Mos Def's character use the piano with the keys being people's fingers. I thought that was quite clever. The rest of the time, I found him funny and, well, he was SUPPOSE to be annoying. That's like people saying they don't like Jason Vorhees cause he kills people.
Ok enough of that, I gotta get to the Onion Movie. It could've been better, but it was still funny enough where I wasn't miserable the whole time. I gotta give it up to Steven Segal for playing himself, which in turn made fun of himself. The entire movie is pretty much a sketch movie, like "The Kentucky Friend Movie" or "Amazon Women On The Moon". One of the bits was about Dungeons and Dragons and the geeks, er, fine fine people (I forget who my fans are sometimes, sorry) that play it. In come this guy and, well, here's the scene. Tell me who the main doucebag geek reminds you of:
Hint: I talked about him in the "Be Kind Rewind" portion.
So it could've been better but there was too much repetition, like with the Fake Britney Spears chick and them playing all her songs over and over again. It's like "We get the joke, she's like Britney, her songs have sexual undertones to them, move on." But no. Oh well. It's still worth a rental in my opinion.
That'll do her for this week. Keep cool and hydrated, it's finally getting Death Valley hot outside.
-Jason
1. Happy Birthday, America!-
Last week was Independence Day, which is why there wasn't a Five then. When it comes to movies, there are very few relating to it. Of course there's "Independence Day" starring Will Smith & Bill Pullman about aliens deciding to butt rape us on our most treasured holiday. So it's up to the Fresh Prince and Seth Brundle to rape the aliens back! (That sounded weird. I'm sorry.) This film gets a lot of flack for some reason but dammit I like it. Sorry to say this, movie snobs all over the world, but IT'S A MOVIE WHERE YOU CAN TURN YOUR BRAIN OFF or whatever. Yeah, there are probably things that don't make sense like how a human computer is compatable with an alien computer and whatnot. But the aliens blowing shit up and the flying and the shooting and stuff is just cool.
The other 4th of July-related film that I can think of just happens to be a movie I reviewed back in 2006, called "Uncle Sam". If you wanna know what it's about, check out the review.
2. You Said "Cock" Huh-huh-huh-
I saw Hancock last Sunday. it's offical: either I'm the weirdest movie lover/goer in the world, or everyone else in the world is cause I freakin' loved this movie. I'm not exactly sure what many people's problem with it was, but I liked it cause it was a superhero movie that wasn't based on any type of comicbook. It was about a dude with powers that was a drunk and sorta homeless who saved people but the people weren't grateful cause he would destroy shit in the process. In comes Jason Bateman, who needed rescuing cause his car was stuck on a train track and a train was coming. This happened to me and a friend once and it was a pretty scary thing. Luckily, we got out before the train come. Yes, sadly, Will Smith didn't fly in and throw my car up in the air and smashed the train. Anyway, Jason Bateman turns Hancock's attitude around and now he's loved and stuff. Then there's a huge fuckin' plot twist that nobody in the theater expected cause everyone literally went "GASP!" when it was revealed. There were actual villains and stuff. I dunno, I liked it. Dammit.
3. Isn't It Ironic...Don't Ya Think?-
Bill Corbett was a performer and writer on "Mystery Science Theater 3000" for the last 3 or 4 years of the show. Now he's doing RiffTrax with Mike Nelson and fellow MST3K performer and writer Kevin Murphy. His other job is writing screenplays, which he wrote with a friend of his and it was titled "Starship Dave", and it was about an alien who comes to Earth in a Spaceship that looks like a human.
Well, the Hollywood machine got their grubby hands on it, changed the title, and gave the script to Eddie Murphey and "Norbit" director whoever that dude is and now we get "Meet Dave". I'm 90% sure none of this is what Bill had in mind.
Oddly enough, I kinda chuckled at a moment in the sneak preview/trailer:
The part when he's shaking hands with the one dude. I couldn't help myself. Maybe it won't be THAT bad...eh who am I kidding? Sorry, Bill.
4. Speaking Of MST3K-
I want this! The episodes aren't announced yet. There was a rumor that "Laserblast" and "Werewolf" was gonna be on it, but probably not. It's currently available for pre-order
which if you do through that link, I'll say to you "Thank you very much".
5. Two Quickie DVD Reviews-
As you no doubt noticed over there to the right under the DVD's I've Watched section, I saw "Be Kind Rewind" & "The Onion Movie".
First, "Be Kind Rewind". Yet again, maybe I'm a weirdo but I loved this movie. Granted, I think Michel Gondry's a genius and all of his movies are visually stunning, which was NOT a complaint everyone had. The complaints that I did read was some of the following:
-What's up with it being a VHS store?
Well, it is mentioned in the movie that they are probably the last VHS rental place when everyone else went to DVD's. But, to me, the store was kind of a character, like how many people say the van in "Little Miss Sunshine" was a character. It had a charm that you don't seem too often in this fast paced modern world. It was old, run down, and you can only find old rundown things inside it. I happened to like places like that. Eventually, Danny Glover's character tried to make the switch to DVD, but everyone thought it was a bad idea. I like DVD's as much as the next guy, but VHS does have a old charm to it, to me anyway. Since I use to have a shitload of VHS movies back in the day.
-Jack Black was annoying.
Actually, this is said about him in most of his movies. He got on my nerves only one time and it was towards the end when he wouldn't let Mos Def's character use the piano with the keys being people's fingers. I thought that was quite clever. The rest of the time, I found him funny and, well, he was SUPPOSE to be annoying. That's like people saying they don't like Jason Vorhees cause he kills people.
Ok enough of that, I gotta get to the Onion Movie. It could've been better, but it was still funny enough where I wasn't miserable the whole time. I gotta give it up to Steven Segal for playing himself, which in turn made fun of himself. The entire movie is pretty much a sketch movie, like "The Kentucky Friend Movie" or "Amazon Women On The Moon". One of the bits was about Dungeons and Dragons and the geeks, er, fine fine people (I forget who my fans are sometimes, sorry) that play it. In come this guy and, well, here's the scene. Tell me who the main doucebag geek reminds you of:
Hint: I talked about him in the "Be Kind Rewind" portion.
So it could've been better but there was too much repetition, like with the Fake Britney Spears chick and them playing all her songs over and over again. It's like "We get the joke, she's like Britney, her songs have sexual undertones to them, move on." But no. Oh well. It's still worth a rental in my opinion.
That'll do her for this week. Keep cool and hydrated, it's finally getting Death Valley hot outside.
-Jason
Friday, June 27, 2008
Five For Friday: June 27th
Here's your Five for today, June 27th, 2008.
1. I Was Everywhere This Week-
This was a super busy week for me. I got (somewhat) noticed by Miss Stacie Final Girl when I participated in her Film Club by updating my review of "Lifeforce". I can't be for sure about this, but I think this film probably had the most people participate, which makes it more awesome for me? I dunno.
Also, in the very slim chance you didn't get it, or were "in on it, my review a few days ago for "The Fast and The Furious" was part of Lazy Eye Theater's Bizarro Blog-A-Thon that was going on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. You should check out the other reviews. Or DON'T check them out. HA!
In my neck of the woods, I reviewed Bratz: The Movie, which damn near made me wanna stop reviewing bad movies as a hobby. Ugh.
2. Kids vs Adults-
There's only two new movies opening up this weekend (three if you count this movie I've never heard of before): Wall-E and Wanted. So it'll pretty much be a battle of who will win this weekend, the kids or the adults? Or maybe...the adults can drop their kids off at Wall-E and go see Wanted. But then again, I wanna see both, since I'm a fan of the Pixar stuff. I have often been told that I'm pretty much a big kid in an adult body. Which explains my obsession with boobies. Heh-heh-heh...boobies.
3. In The "This Can't Possibly Be A Real Movie, Can It?" Department-
I mean, REALLY??? A whole SHITLOAD of people worked, and probably hard, on THAT! I mean...WHAT THE FUCK????
4. Save Midnight Meat TrainTo Georgia-
I saw this on Myspace so I thought I'd pass the word along. It's a bit lengthy so if you don't care about Midnight Meat Train, then you can skip this number.
A Plea from Clive Barker:
My Dear Friends,
As you may or may not have heard, due to certain politics, "Midnight Meat Train" is in danger of Lionsgate not giving it a wide release. The below email was brought to my attention earlier today and shows a movement, of sorts, in order to get the picture the proper support and release it deserves. I'm asking you to please help spread the word in order for all to enjoy this film. I want to passionately encourage everybody who cares about my work to use this chance to change the minds of the folks at Lionsgate. I'm excited at the prospect of a movement of people who care deeply enough to initiate a campaign such as this.
Anything any of you can do - be it emails, web postings, word of mouth, and the like - to help encourage this movement would be deeply appreciated. The film is worth the effort in my mind, and I do not want to see my work fall by the wayside.
If any of you have any further ideas, thoughts, or suggestions to help with this effort, please let me know.
Thanks, as always, for your help and support.
Much Love,
Clive
***
OPEN LETTER TO ALL HORROR FANS:
WE NEED TO START A VIRAL CAMPAIGN TO GET THIS MOVIE A WIDER RELEASE!!!
A very reliable SOURCE from within Lionsgate has told me that the decision to dump Midnight Meat Train in as few as 100 screens and then rush the film to DVD is based purely on INTERNAL POLITICS.
Something along the lines of: the new head honcho does not like the old head honcho so he is deliberately dumping all of his films out of spite and malice.
But there is HOPE. The only thing that overrides backstabbing politics in Hollywood is PURE GREED. It is clearly not healthy for investor relations to dump a movie that has a vocal and dedicated audience.
Midnight Meat Train represents the kind of horror film that audiences have been dying for!!!
There is growing internal pressure within the company for a wider release of this film and PUBLIC FAN PRESSURE may help to push this decision over the edge.
If you wish to see MIDNIGHT MEAT TRAIN in all its big screen glory at a THEATER near you, please do the following:
Cut and paste the message at the bottom of this post and e-mail it to:
1) Investor relations at Lionsgate: keasterling@lionsgate.com
2) Lionsgate: general-inquiries@lionsgate.com
3) call Lionsgate at (310) 449-9200 and express your desire to see MIDNIGHT MEAT TRAIN get the release it deserves.
BE POLITE AND PROFESSIONAL! We do not want to piss them off, just want them to know how many fans out there would like to shell out their hard earned cash to see the most groundbreaking horror film of the past ten years in a real movie theater!
4) SEND THIS E-MAIL TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW!!!
WE HAVE WAITED TOO LONG FOR THIS MOVIE TO LET IT GO STRAIGHT TO DVD!!!
Post this message everywhere, send it to your horror friends and spread the word! We need to act FAST to have an effect!!!
And LONG LIVE THE MEAT!!
HERE'S A SAMPLE MESSAGE FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE (or feel free to compose your own):
Dear Lionsgate,
As a long time Clive Barker fan, I am writing you to express my strong desire to see "The Midnight Meat Train" on the big screen. Rumors are currently circulating that the film will only be released on a limited basis and I am very concerned that I will miss my opportunity to see the most highly anticipated Clive Barker film in over a decade in all of its big screen glory! There are millions of horror fans like myself who have been disappointed by the recent trend towards watered down PG-13 horror movies. Clive's work represents a return to serious, thought provoking horror movies and with Ryuhei Kitamura at the helm, I am even more excited to experience this collaboration as it was intended: in a packed theater with hundreds of other horror fans like myself!
I urge you to please give this film the release it deserves!
Many thanks,
YOUR NAME
***
Here's the trailer:
It looks interesting but I don't see it as some kind of second coming, but I also hate to see anyone's work, especially someone as well respected as Clive Barker, get pushed around and whatnot cause of studio politics. Why should a Clive Barker film be direct to video? Doesn't make sense, man.
5. Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cocksucker, Motherfucker, & Tits-
I didn't really write up a thing when George Carlin died earlier this week so I'm doing it now. I really like his comedy, even if I didn't agree with a lot of things he had to say. I think it says somethere where you can disagree with a guy, but still find him funny. His death was pretty shocking and sudden, even though he was 71 or so. He dabbled in movies, which made him somewhat famous for playin Rufus in the Bill & Ted series. He also appeared in a few Kevin Smith films, starting with Dogma and going all the way to Jersey Girl, which I'm sure the failure of it pissed him off and is probably the reason why he wasn't found in Clerks 2. Ironically, I was planning a Kevin Smith blog-a-thon but it wouldn't be until possibly later in July since I still got more shit coming up.
And I'll end this on a question: Does anybody remember The George Carlin Show? I can't recall a single episode but I remember it.
Anyway, I posted a bunch of Youtube clips today so I'll make this a link, plus I know not everyone was into him and stuff so if you wanna see this, you can make the effort to click.
George Carlin on The Ten Commandments (Not The Movie)
Thanks and enjoy!
-Jason
1. I Was Everywhere This Week-
This was a super busy week for me. I got (somewhat) noticed by Miss Stacie Final Girl when I participated in her Film Club by updating my review of "Lifeforce". I can't be for sure about this, but I think this film probably had the most people participate, which makes it more awesome for me? I dunno.
Also, in the very slim chance you didn't get it, or were "in on it, my review a few days ago for "The Fast and The Furious" was part of Lazy Eye Theater's Bizarro Blog-A-Thon that was going on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. You should check out the other reviews. Or DON'T check them out. HA!
In my neck of the woods, I reviewed Bratz: The Movie, which damn near made me wanna stop reviewing bad movies as a hobby. Ugh.
2. Kids vs Adults-
There's only two new movies opening up this weekend (three if you count this movie I've never heard of before): Wall-E and Wanted. So it'll pretty much be a battle of who will win this weekend, the kids or the adults? Or maybe...the adults can drop their kids off at Wall-E and go see Wanted. But then again, I wanna see both, since I'm a fan of the Pixar stuff. I have often been told that I'm pretty much a big kid in an adult body. Which explains my obsession with boobies. Heh-heh-heh...boobies.
3. In The "This Can't Possibly Be A Real Movie, Can It?" Department-
I mean, REALLY??? A whole SHITLOAD of people worked, and probably hard, on THAT! I mean...WHAT THE FUCK????
4. Save Midnight Meat Train
I saw this on Myspace so I thought I'd pass the word along. It's a bit lengthy so if you don't care about Midnight Meat Train, then you can skip this number.
A Plea from Clive Barker:
My Dear Friends,
As you may or may not have heard, due to certain politics, "Midnight Meat Train" is in danger of Lionsgate not giving it a wide release. The below email was brought to my attention earlier today and shows a movement, of sorts, in order to get the picture the proper support and release it deserves. I'm asking you to please help spread the word in order for all to enjoy this film. I want to passionately encourage everybody who cares about my work to use this chance to change the minds of the folks at Lionsgate. I'm excited at the prospect of a movement of people who care deeply enough to initiate a campaign such as this.
Anything any of you can do - be it emails, web postings, word of mouth, and the like - to help encourage this movement would be deeply appreciated. The film is worth the effort in my mind, and I do not want to see my work fall by the wayside.
If any of you have any further ideas, thoughts, or suggestions to help with this effort, please let me know.
Thanks, as always, for your help and support.
Much Love,
Clive
***
OPEN LETTER TO ALL HORROR FANS:
WE NEED TO START A VIRAL CAMPAIGN TO GET THIS MOVIE A WIDER RELEASE!!!
A very reliable SOURCE from within Lionsgate has told me that the decision to dump Midnight Meat Train in as few as 100 screens and then rush the film to DVD is based purely on INTERNAL POLITICS.
Something along the lines of: the new head honcho does not like the old head honcho so he is deliberately dumping all of his films out of spite and malice.
But there is HOPE. The only thing that overrides backstabbing politics in Hollywood is PURE GREED. It is clearly not healthy for investor relations to dump a movie that has a vocal and dedicated audience.
Midnight Meat Train represents the kind of horror film that audiences have been dying for!!!
There is growing internal pressure within the company for a wider release of this film and PUBLIC FAN PRESSURE may help to push this decision over the edge.
If you wish to see MIDNIGHT MEAT TRAIN in all its big screen glory at a THEATER near you, please do the following:
Cut and paste the message at the bottom of this post and e-mail it to:
1) Investor relations at Lionsgate: keasterling@lionsgate.com
2) Lionsgate: general-inquiries@lionsgate.com
3) call Lionsgate at (310) 449-9200 and express your desire to see MIDNIGHT MEAT TRAIN get the release it deserves.
BE POLITE AND PROFESSIONAL! We do not want to piss them off, just want them to know how many fans out there would like to shell out their hard earned cash to see the most groundbreaking horror film of the past ten years in a real movie theater!
4) SEND THIS E-MAIL TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW!!!
WE HAVE WAITED TOO LONG FOR THIS MOVIE TO LET IT GO STRAIGHT TO DVD!!!
Post this message everywhere, send it to your horror friends and spread the word! We need to act FAST to have an effect!!!
And LONG LIVE THE MEAT!!
HERE'S A SAMPLE MESSAGE FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE (or feel free to compose your own):
Dear Lionsgate,
As a long time Clive Barker fan, I am writing you to express my strong desire to see "The Midnight Meat Train" on the big screen. Rumors are currently circulating that the film will only be released on a limited basis and I am very concerned that I will miss my opportunity to see the most highly anticipated Clive Barker film in over a decade in all of its big screen glory! There are millions of horror fans like myself who have been disappointed by the recent trend towards watered down PG-13 horror movies. Clive's work represents a return to serious, thought provoking horror movies and with Ryuhei Kitamura at the helm, I am even more excited to experience this collaboration as it was intended: in a packed theater with hundreds of other horror fans like myself!
I urge you to please give this film the release it deserves!
Many thanks,
YOUR NAME
***
Here's the trailer:
It looks interesting but I don't see it as some kind of second coming, but I also hate to see anyone's work, especially someone as well respected as Clive Barker, get pushed around and whatnot cause of studio politics. Why should a Clive Barker film be direct to video? Doesn't make sense, man.
5. Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cocksucker, Motherfucker, & Tits-
I didn't really write up a thing when George Carlin died earlier this week so I'm doing it now. I really like his comedy, even if I didn't agree with a lot of things he had to say. I think it says somethere where you can disagree with a guy, but still find him funny. His death was pretty shocking and sudden, even though he was 71 or so. He dabbled in movies, which made him somewhat famous for playin Rufus in the Bill & Ted series. He also appeared in a few Kevin Smith films, starting with Dogma and going all the way to Jersey Girl, which I'm sure the failure of it pissed him off and is probably the reason why he wasn't found in Clerks 2. Ironically, I was planning a Kevin Smith blog-a-thon but it wouldn't be until possibly later in July since I still got more shit coming up.
And I'll end this on a question: Does anybody remember The George Carlin Show? I can't recall a single episode but I remember it.
Anyway, I posted a bunch of Youtube clips today so I'll make this a link, plus I know not everyone was into him and stuff so if you wanna see this, you can make the effort to click.
George Carlin on The Ten Commandments (Not The Movie)
Thanks and enjoy!
-Jason
Friday, June 20, 2008
Five For Friday: June 20th
(Edit: I changed the name of this feature cause while reading Lazy Eye Theater's blog, I see he has a Top Five Tuesday. His is a list of movies where mine is just 5 things from the top of my head, but still.)
Here are the top five things going on in the past, present and future for June 20th, 2008!
1. Be Kind, Rewind is out on DVD. And it seems like people were rather harsh towards it. I haven't seen it yet, but if I get to a video store this weekend I'm definately renting it. One of the problems I've heard about is how it's about a VHS rental place. Going solely by the trailer, I kinda assumed:
-maybe it took place in the early-to-middle '90's when VHS was still around and DVD wasn't in yet, or just so new that a lot of places didn't have them yet. Yet again, I'm just going by the trailer. The movies featured were Robocop, Ghostbusters, Boyz N The Hood, Driving Miss Daisy, and The Lion King. I don't see any mention of "The 40-Year-Old Virgin" or even like "Batman Begins".
or
-if it does take place in the present, maybe it's one of those small towns where there are no major video store chain (like Blockbuster or Hollywood Video), and the residents of said town are happy with their VHS choices, so they keep the VHS-only shop in business. Like, the residents aren't hardcore movie goers like you and me, but enjoy a movie now and then. Be like "Dude! I got this baggie of weed, dude! We should, like, rent that robot movie about a cop and watch it!!! What's it called again?"
I'm just concerned cause it's a Michel Gondry movie, who is like 100% awesome in my book, so I can't even figure out how this movie can't be good on some level.
2. Also out on DVD is Fool's Gold. Anybody who seen the movie, can you answer me this? What is it exactly? Is it a comedy? An action/comedy kinda like "Romancing The Stone" and "Jewel of The Nile"? Or is it a sappy rom-com with a little action thrown in. Cause the movie kinda interests me, but I really don't like romantic comedies. (I guess you could argue that both "Stone" and "Nile" are action with a little rom-com thrown in, but whatever.)
3. DAMMIT! Movies I'm Looking Forward To That Isn't "The Dark Knight"...DAMMIT!:
Step Brothers
(Sorry if all the dammit's had you thinking it was 24: The Movie, I just been hearing so many bad things about this movie it's kinda frustrating.)
4. I so badly want to get the Dirty Harry Collection, with all the films (Dirty Harry, Magnum Force, The Enforcer, Sudden Impact, The Dead Pool). I've only seen I think 3 of them (Dirty Harry, The Enforcer, & Sudden Impact) but DAMMIT I'm a male, I gotta own these!
5. Speaking of macho movies, I was talking to a friend a few weeks ago online and he presented with me this challenge. "Name a Charles Broson movie that isn't Deathwish, and you have 30 seconds (or something) to do it (Meaning I couldn't look it up)." I could've gone the obscure trivial route and named the original House of Wax with Vincent Price, where Charles Bronson played the mute assistant, but instead I went with "Ten Till Midnight". As far as I know, not a lot of people know about it, so allow me to tell you as much as I can.
Ten Till Midnight tells the age old story of a serial killer who likes to kill people naked. In that I mean HE'S naked while killing them. You're probably gonna think this is messed up, but I saw this movie when I was 10 or 11. My mom, being the most awesome Mom in the world, and I watched a TV-Edit of this and we were like "Ok, how are they gonna get around the dude being naked." Turns out they filmed his nude scenes (yes he was shown naked, man-meat n all) but he was wearing blue underwear. I remember cause it was also blue underwear, like he wore the same undies the entire movie, which I think takes place over several months, so that's mildly disturbing. Of course they didn't change the dialouge, so it didn't make sense of Bronson to be like "He's a naked serial killer" but they show him in underwear. Whatever. Get Ten Till Midnight, you won't regret it.
That'll do it. Thanks! And enjoy this first day of summer!
-Jason
Here are the top five things going on in the past, present and future for June 20th, 2008!
1. Be Kind, Rewind is out on DVD. And it seems like people were rather harsh towards it. I haven't seen it yet, but if I get to a video store this weekend I'm definately renting it. One of the problems I've heard about is how it's about a VHS rental place. Going solely by the trailer, I kinda assumed:
-maybe it took place in the early-to-middle '90's when VHS was still around and DVD wasn't in yet, or just so new that a lot of places didn't have them yet. Yet again, I'm just going by the trailer. The movies featured were Robocop, Ghostbusters, Boyz N The Hood, Driving Miss Daisy, and The Lion King. I don't see any mention of "The 40-Year-Old Virgin" or even like "Batman Begins".
or
-if it does take place in the present, maybe it's one of those small towns where there are no major video store chain (like Blockbuster or Hollywood Video), and the residents of said town are happy with their VHS choices, so they keep the VHS-only shop in business. Like, the residents aren't hardcore movie goers like you and me, but enjoy a movie now and then. Be like "Dude! I got this baggie of weed, dude! We should, like, rent that robot movie about a cop and watch it!!! What's it called again?"
I'm just concerned cause it's a Michel Gondry movie, who is like 100% awesome in my book, so I can't even figure out how this movie can't be good on some level.
2. Also out on DVD is Fool's Gold. Anybody who seen the movie, can you answer me this? What is it exactly? Is it a comedy? An action/comedy kinda like "Romancing The Stone" and "Jewel of The Nile"? Or is it a sappy rom-com with a little action thrown in. Cause the movie kinda interests me, but I really don't like romantic comedies. (I guess you could argue that both "Stone" and "Nile" are action with a little rom-com thrown in, but whatever.)
3. DAMMIT! Movies I'm Looking Forward To That Isn't "The Dark Knight"...DAMMIT!:
Step Brothers
(Sorry if all the dammit's had you thinking it was 24: The Movie, I just been hearing so many bad things about this movie it's kinda frustrating.)
4. I so badly want to get the Dirty Harry Collection, with all the films (Dirty Harry, Magnum Force, The Enforcer, Sudden Impact, The Dead Pool). I've only seen I think 3 of them (Dirty Harry, The Enforcer, & Sudden Impact) but DAMMIT I'm a male, I gotta own these!
5. Speaking of macho movies, I was talking to a friend a few weeks ago online and he presented with me this challenge. "Name a Charles Broson movie that isn't Deathwish, and you have 30 seconds (or something) to do it (Meaning I couldn't look it up)." I could've gone the obscure trivial route and named the original House of Wax with Vincent Price, where Charles Bronson played the mute assistant, but instead I went with "Ten Till Midnight". As far as I know, not a lot of people know about it, so allow me to tell you as much as I can.
Ten Till Midnight tells the age old story of a serial killer who likes to kill people naked. In that I mean HE'S naked while killing them. You're probably gonna think this is messed up, but I saw this movie when I was 10 or 11. My mom, being the most awesome Mom in the world, and I watched a TV-Edit of this and we were like "Ok, how are they gonna get around the dude being naked." Turns out they filmed his nude scenes (yes he was shown naked, man-meat n all) but he was wearing blue underwear. I remember cause it was also blue underwear, like he wore the same undies the entire movie, which I think takes place over several months, so that's mildly disturbing. Of course they didn't change the dialouge, so it didn't make sense of Bronson to be like "He's a naked serial killer" but they show him in underwear. Whatever. Get Ten Till Midnight, you won't regret it.
That'll do it. Thanks! And enjoy this first day of summer!
-Jason
Friday, June 13, 2008
Five For Friday: June 13th
I kinda liked the thing I did last week listing five things to talk about, so maybe I'll try to make it a weekly thing. Here's five things for Friday the 13th!
1. It's Friday the 13th! I wanted to do something but I didn't know what. Seems like every movie site or blog I visit already did the "Watch all Friday the 13th films" thing, and I figure watching and/or reviewing just one would be kinda lame, so I came up short on this one. The next Friday the 13th, in February 2009, I'll be ready! For...something. BUT! I do have a neat little story to tell you, so you're totally not without something FT13 (like that?) related.
True story: My mom was pregnant with me when the first Friday the 13th was out. She saw it, being into horror movies n all (Gee I wonder where I get it from...) and thought the name "Jason" was pretty neat. Of course, as you all know, he was only mentioned by named in the first, so my dear ol' mom had no way of knowing that in just a few years "Jason" would turn from just being a name to one of movie's most brutal serial killers. And I think that's why in some lame way the FT13 films are some of my favorites, even though I haven't seen all of them and heard that the ones in the middle (between 4-7) were REALLY stupid. I mean Jason Vorhees is, in a way, a badass. You can shoot, stab, cut, punch, blow up, shock, and send him into space and he keeps on tickin' man! Fuck yeah!
2. I saw "The Zohan" last week. I usually don't do new theater reviews on this blog unless they're stupid crappy movies (Ex: Prom Night), but I will quickly say this: Zohan rocked my face off! It's like old school Sandler is back, after making a bunch of weepy, family friendly stuff. I've been hearing that people didn't dig all the penis jokes, but basically Sandler, along with Robert Smigel and Judd Apatow, the co-writers, they're all really just adults with the minds of a 11 year old. "Tee hee hee penis. He's got a giant schlong. Ha-ha!" Of course, Zohan had it's serious moments, which I think saved it from everybody's "MUST KILL" list. But the craziest thing about this movie were the cameos. I mean you got Michael "LETS GET READY TO RUMMMMMBLE!!!!" Buffer as the villian! Dave Matthews as a red neck racist wearing a fake mustache! Mariah Carey talking about bluetooth technology!! It's like wha???? I kept waiting for Bill O'Reilly to come along as the Grand Wizard of the K.K.K, not that that would be too far off. Anyway, Zohan ruled.
I also saw "Speed Racer", which was an ok movie. It was pretty to look at, but the story was a bit rough to follow. And since it was made by "The Matrix" dudes, there were a lot of slo-mo jumping.
3. So they turned "What's Happening!" into a movie and it came out today! It's weird that Kayne West got the role of Roger and-
Wait. I read my notes wrong. My bad.
"The Happening", starring Marky Mark comes out today and it's directed by Mr. Night Schwhateverlong. And all the trailers are making a deal about this being a R-Rated movie. How sad is it that R-Rated movies are a big deal again. What is this, 1981? "Oh dear! This is a R-Rated cinema film! Young Johnny shall not be setting his peepers on this film, which I'm sure is filled with exposed female breasts and that red stuff called "blood". Oh my. We shall NOT be seeing that, I tell you what. Two for Kung-Fu Panda, please?"
4. Upcoming movie I'm excited for that isn't "The Dark Knight":
Hellboy 2
5. In case you missed it: I updated my review of "Lifeforce", the infamous movie where a naked alien chick walks around for 90% of the movie, so it was in dire need of screecaps, which I PAINSTAKINGLY did for you. The trouble I go through for you guys.
Coming up, God help me: High School Musical 2: This Time They're In Space! (Ok they're probably not in space, but there will probably be more annoying unnessesary songs, and I'll have to look at that ugly Sharpay's nose for another 2 hours. I'm sure about that.)
Thanks for reading!
-Jason
1. It's Friday the 13th! I wanted to do something but I didn't know what. Seems like every movie site or blog I visit already did the "Watch all Friday the 13th films" thing, and I figure watching and/or reviewing just one would be kinda lame, so I came up short on this one. The next Friday the 13th, in February 2009, I'll be ready! For...something. BUT! I do have a neat little story to tell you, so you're totally not without something FT13 (like that?) related.
True story: My mom was pregnant with me when the first Friday the 13th was out. She saw it, being into horror movies n all (Gee I wonder where I get it from...) and thought the name "Jason" was pretty neat. Of course, as you all know, he was only mentioned by named in the first, so my dear ol' mom had no way of knowing that in just a few years "Jason" would turn from just being a name to one of movie's most brutal serial killers. And I think that's why in some lame way the FT13 films are some of my favorites, even though I haven't seen all of them and heard that the ones in the middle (between 4-7) were REALLY stupid. I mean Jason Vorhees is, in a way, a badass. You can shoot, stab, cut, punch, blow up, shock, and send him into space and he keeps on tickin' man! Fuck yeah!
2. I saw "The Zohan" last week. I usually don't do new theater reviews on this blog unless they're stupid crappy movies (Ex: Prom Night), but I will quickly say this: Zohan rocked my face off! It's like old school Sandler is back, after making a bunch of weepy, family friendly stuff. I've been hearing that people didn't dig all the penis jokes, but basically Sandler, along with Robert Smigel and Judd Apatow, the co-writers, they're all really just adults with the minds of a 11 year old. "Tee hee hee penis. He's got a giant schlong. Ha-ha!" Of course, Zohan had it's serious moments, which I think saved it from everybody's "MUST KILL" list. But the craziest thing about this movie were the cameos. I mean you got Michael "LETS GET READY TO RUMMMMMBLE!!!!" Buffer as the villian! Dave Matthews as a red neck racist wearing a fake mustache! Mariah Carey talking about bluetooth technology!! It's like wha???? I kept waiting for Bill O'Reilly to come along as the Grand Wizard of the K.K.K, not that that would be too far off. Anyway, Zohan ruled.
I also saw "Speed Racer", which was an ok movie. It was pretty to look at, but the story was a bit rough to follow. And since it was made by "The Matrix" dudes, there were a lot of slo-mo jumping.
3. So they turned "What's Happening!" into a movie and it came out today! It's weird that Kayne West got the role of Roger and-
Wait. I read my notes wrong. My bad.
"The Happening", starring Marky Mark comes out today and it's directed by Mr. Night Schwhateverlong. And all the trailers are making a deal about this being a R-Rated movie. How sad is it that R-Rated movies are a big deal again. What is this, 1981? "Oh dear! This is a R-Rated cinema film! Young Johnny shall not be setting his peepers on this film, which I'm sure is filled with exposed female breasts and that red stuff called "blood". Oh my. We shall NOT be seeing that, I tell you what. Two for Kung-Fu Panda, please?"
4. Upcoming movie I'm excited for that isn't "The Dark Knight":
Hellboy 2
5. In case you missed it: I updated my review of "Lifeforce", the infamous movie where a naked alien chick walks around for 90% of the movie, so it was in dire need of screecaps, which I PAINSTAKINGLY did for you. The trouble I go through for you guys.
Coming up, God help me: High School Musical 2: This Time They're In Space! (Ok they're probably not in space, but there will probably be more annoying unnessesary songs, and I'll have to look at that ugly Sharpay's nose for another 2 hours. I'm sure about that.)
Thanks for reading!
-Jason
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