Man, December is going to be a weird month for me. First "Dumpster Baby", now "Forbidden Zone". Not that I'm complaining, I think these choices are awesome. So let's do the third one, shall we?
1. Fear No Evil-
IMDB Says: "High school student turns out to be personification of Lucifer. Two arch angels in human form (as women) take him on."
2. Godzilla vs MechaGodzilla-Possibly my favorite Godzilla film!
IMDB Says: "Aliens intend to take over the planet and, just in case Godzilla tries to interfere, have built a mechanical version of him to put an end to his interference. The Earth humans summon the legendary King Seesar to assist Godzilla in the battle."
3. TerrorVision-
IMDB Says: "A civilization on a distant planet has found a way to solve its garbage problem: turning it into energy and beaming it into outer space. A flaw in this system is found when the signal is accidentally picked up on Earth by the Putterman Family's home satellite dish. While this would ordinarily be just another mess, this particular transmission contains a hungry trash monster who quickly begins snacking on various Puttermans. Only young Sherman Putterman has any clue what is going on, but nobody will believe him. Is there any hope for the Earth?"
4. Wasp Woman-
IMDB Says: "The founder and owner of a cosmetic factory, Janice Starlin (Susan Cabot), is concerned with the dropping sale results of her company. The scientist Eric Zinthrop (Michael Mark) offers to her his research with wasp enzymes that makes animals younger, and she immediately accepts to hire him, provided she becomes his human subject. She decides by her own to accelerate the treatment injecting additional serum trying to see earlier results, becoming the lethal "Wasp Woman"."
5. Drive-In Massacre-
IMDB Says: "Two police detectives try to catch a serial killer who is stalking a rural California drive-in theater, randomly killing people with a sword."
Ok, those are the next five! The poll will be up until Friday so don't delay!
-Jason
Showing posts with label Poll. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Poll. Show all posts
Monday, November 15, 2010
Monday, November 08, 2010
Reader's Choice Poll #2: December 10th Review
Man, you people REALLY want me to review "Dumpster Baby". So be it! The December 3rd review shall be "Dumpster Baby"! With that said, let's get into the next week review! Which of these five shall I review?
1. The Evolved-I bought this on a whim a few years ago but I never got around to it. Just a heads up, it's produced THROUGH Troma. I haven't had too much luck with those.
IMDB says: "Dead dogs, foetus burgers and Nazi clown-chefs; something smells fishy in London; and for once it's not Glover's pants. Detective Danny Glover, Scarborough Police's premier dog-napping-ring buster and general fat bastard, arrives in London to help the clinically psychotic Detective Sonny Boy with a little problem: Who is butchering London's dogs? The answer seems obvious at first, it must be Burger Priest; the Pope's Neo-Nazi clown-chef empire: home of the 'Amen with Cheese', a rancid burger made of fingernails, turds and aborted foetii; just don't ask what goes into their 'Nunion Rings'! Detectives Glover and Sonny Boy engage on a covert mission to uncover Burger Priest's dark secret; but even they are unprepared for the true horror and depth of the fast food franchise's depravity. Assisted by Feety, a heroin-addicted foetus, and Ellen Mellon, a New York reporter who also happens to be an animated ventriloquist's doll, they must reveal the Pope's evil plan and shut down Burger Priest for good. Along the way they learn the truth behind London's drug-addled pregnant teenagers and come face to face with the reality of their own sordid addictions. If this isn't enough, there's a third force at work. Something is stalking and killing Burger Priest's Nazi clown-chef army. Something that crawled out of the ocean, hell bent on revenge. A creature so terrifying men dare not speak its name; the semi-evolved shark terror known only as: THE EVOLVED. If only God existed, maybe he could help you."
That was long. (That's what...oh you know.)
2. Forbidden Zone-I've heard a lot about this movie and I think I had it on another poll before.
IMDB says: "A mysterious door in the basement of the Hercules house leads to the Sixth Dimension by way of a gigantic set of intestine. When Frenchy slips through the door, King Fausto falls in love with her. The jealous Queen Doris takes Frenchy prisoner, and it is up to the Hercules family and friend Squeezit Henderson to rescue her."
3. Meet The Feebles-
IMDB says: Heidi, the star of the "Meet The Feebles Variety Hour" discovers her lover Bletch, The Walrus, is cheating on her, and with all the world waiting for the show the assorted co-stars must contend with their own problems. These include drug addiction, extortion, robbery, disease, Drug dealing, and even murder. While this is happening the love between two of the stars is threatened by the devious Trevor the Rat, who wishes to exploit the young starlet for use in his porno movie business."
4. Shark Attack 3: Megalodon-I've raved about this movie in one of my videos. It'd be worth the review, trust me.
IMDB says: "Twenty-four million years ago, Megalodon was a 20 tonne killing machine with a 10 foot gaping bite. When two researchers discover a colossal shark's tooth off the Mexican coast their worst fears surface - the most menacing beast to ever rule the waters is still alive and mercilessly feeding on anything that crosses its path. Now they must hunt the fierce killer and destroy it... before there is no one left to stop its reign of terror!"
5. Suicide Girls Must Die!-I just bought this from Best Buy and it seems interesting.
IMDB says: "When twelve nude models for the infamous SuicideGirls.com begin disappearing from a remote cabin, the calendar video they are shooting becomes the first reality horror movie."
Ok, there ya go! It's up to you,New York readers! Let me know what you want to see reviewed on December 10th. Poll ends on Friday, so vote NOW NOW NOW!
-Jason
1. The Evolved-I bought this on a whim a few years ago but I never got around to it. Just a heads up, it's produced THROUGH Troma. I haven't had too much luck with those.
IMDB says: "Dead dogs, foetus burgers and Nazi clown-chefs; something smells fishy in London; and for once it's not Glover's pants. Detective Danny Glover, Scarborough Police's premier dog-napping-ring buster and general fat bastard, arrives in London to help the clinically psychotic Detective Sonny Boy with a little problem: Who is butchering London's dogs? The answer seems obvious at first, it must be Burger Priest; the Pope's Neo-Nazi clown-chef empire: home of the 'Amen with Cheese', a rancid burger made of fingernails, turds and aborted foetii; just don't ask what goes into their 'Nunion Rings'! Detectives Glover and Sonny Boy engage on a covert mission to uncover Burger Priest's dark secret; but even they are unprepared for the true horror and depth of the fast food franchise's depravity. Assisted by Feety, a heroin-addicted foetus, and Ellen Mellon, a New York reporter who also happens to be an animated ventriloquist's doll, they must reveal the Pope's evil plan and shut down Burger Priest for good. Along the way they learn the truth behind London's drug-addled pregnant teenagers and come face to face with the reality of their own sordid addictions. If this isn't enough, there's a third force at work. Something is stalking and killing Burger Priest's Nazi clown-chef army. Something that crawled out of the ocean, hell bent on revenge. A creature so terrifying men dare not speak its name; the semi-evolved shark terror known only as: THE EVOLVED. If only God existed, maybe he could help you."
That was long. (That's what...oh you know.)
2. Forbidden Zone-I've heard a lot about this movie and I think I had it on another poll before.
IMDB says: "A mysterious door in the basement of the Hercules house leads to the Sixth Dimension by way of a gigantic set of intestine. When Frenchy slips through the door, King Fausto falls in love with her. The jealous Queen Doris takes Frenchy prisoner, and it is up to the Hercules family and friend Squeezit Henderson to rescue her."
3. Meet The Feebles-
IMDB says: Heidi, the star of the "Meet The Feebles Variety Hour" discovers her lover Bletch, The Walrus, is cheating on her, and with all the world waiting for the show the assorted co-stars must contend with their own problems. These include drug addiction, extortion, robbery, disease, Drug dealing, and even murder. While this is happening the love between two of the stars is threatened by the devious Trevor the Rat, who wishes to exploit the young starlet for use in his porno movie business."
4. Shark Attack 3: Megalodon-I've raved about this movie in one of my videos. It'd be worth the review, trust me.
IMDB says: "Twenty-four million years ago, Megalodon was a 20 tonne killing machine with a 10 foot gaping bite. When two researchers discover a colossal shark's tooth off the Mexican coast their worst fears surface - the most menacing beast to ever rule the waters is still alive and mercilessly feeding on anything that crosses its path. Now they must hunt the fierce killer and destroy it... before there is no one left to stop its reign of terror!"
5. Suicide Girls Must Die!-I just bought this from Best Buy and it seems interesting.
IMDB says: "When twelve nude models for the infamous SuicideGirls.com begin disappearing from a remote cabin, the calendar video they are shooting becomes the first reality horror movie."
Ok, there ya go! It's up to you,
-Jason
Monday, November 01, 2010
Reader's Choice Poll #1: December 3rd Review
Ok, folks, this is for what you think I should review on December 3rd. An explaination can be found here. The links in the titles takes you to the IMDB page, so check out the poser art if that's how you decide on these things. Your choices are:
1. Ghost Ship-Travis of The Movie Encyclopedia seems to hate this movie. I seen it a long time ago and don't really remember there being a problem. So let's give it another shot, shall we?
IMDB says: "After discovering a passenger ship missing since 1962 floating adrift on the Bering Sea, salvagers claim the vessel as their own. Once they begin towing the ghost ship towards harbor, a series of bizarre ocurrences happen and the group becomes trapped inside the ship, which they soon learn is inhabited by a demonic creature."
2. Motel Hell-This movie is famous, at least to me. I seen it one night on TV as a kid and it freaked me the fuck out. My friend Bill swears by this movie.
IMDB says: "Farmer Vincent kidnaps unsuspecting travellers and is burying them in his garden. Unfortunately for his victims, they are not dead. He feeds his victims to prepare them for his roadside stand. His motto is: It takes all kinds of critters...to make Farmer Vincents fritters. The movie is gory, but is also a parody of slasher movies like Last House on the Left." (I don't know about that last sentence...)
3. Skeeter-Doug Funnie's best friend goes on a murderous rampage! Ok, not really. That'd be cool though.
IMDB says: "Another ecological disaster results in mosquitoes growing to the size of bats (very rubbery, non-scary bats). Of course they have to suck a lot of blood. Humans have to find a way to fight back!"
4. Illegal Aliens-Anna Nicole Smith's final movie. How could I NOT cover this?
IMDB says: ""Charlie's Angels" goes sci-fi, with a touch of "Men In Black" thrown in for good measure, when three aliens morph into super-hot babes and arrive to protect the earth from the intergalactic forces of evil. Guided by Syntax, their holographic mentor, these Illegal Aliens are willing to use every trick in the book and every sexy outfit in their wardrobe to accomplish their mission! This film is filled with high-energy action, lowbrow spoofs and the high-camp acting reminiscent of the classic B-Movie genre how else could this film get away with Anna Nicole Smith saving the world? "Illegal Alien's" pokes fun at today's Hollywood and pays tribute to the so-called "Bad Movies" we all love to hate!"
5. Dumpster Baby-All those years ago when I last did a "you pick the movie I should review poll" this was one of the choices that no one picked. Will it be picked this time around?
IMDB says: ...nothing. No synopsis. Huh. Guess you'll have to go in blindly on this one.
6. Fantastic Four (The Roger Corman Version)-This famous bootleg of the failed 1994 Fantastic Four film is like movie legend. You can only find this on the internet or at conventions. Thankfully, I have connections!
IMDB says: "When an experimental space voyage goes awry, four people are forever changed by cosmic rays: Reed Richards, inventor and leader of the group gains the ability to stretch his body and takes the name Mr. Fantastic. His girlfriend, Sue Storm, gains the ability to turn invisible and create force fields becoming The Invisible Girl. Her little brother, Johnny Storm, becomes The Human Torch with the ability to control fire, including covering his own body with flame. The pilot Ben Grimm is turned into the super-strong, super-tough Thing. Together they become a team of super-heroes and use their unique powers to foil the evil plans of villains."
There you have it! The poll will be up until Friday November 5th. So vote! And choose wisely. This is YOUR chance to make ME suffer...
...god I should rethink this whole thing.
-Jason
1. Ghost Ship-Travis of The Movie Encyclopedia seems to hate this movie. I seen it a long time ago and don't really remember there being a problem. So let's give it another shot, shall we?
IMDB says: "After discovering a passenger ship missing since 1962 floating adrift on the Bering Sea, salvagers claim the vessel as their own. Once they begin towing the ghost ship towards harbor, a series of bizarre ocurrences happen and the group becomes trapped inside the ship, which they soon learn is inhabited by a demonic creature."
2. Motel Hell-This movie is famous, at least to me. I seen it one night on TV as a kid and it freaked me the fuck out. My friend Bill swears by this movie.
IMDB says: "Farmer Vincent kidnaps unsuspecting travellers and is burying them in his garden. Unfortunately for his victims, they are not dead. He feeds his victims to prepare them for his roadside stand. His motto is: It takes all kinds of critters...to make Farmer Vincents fritters. The movie is gory, but is also a parody of slasher movies like Last House on the Left." (I don't know about that last sentence...)
3. Skeeter-Doug Funnie's best friend goes on a murderous rampage! Ok, not really. That'd be cool though.
IMDB says: "Another ecological disaster results in mosquitoes growing to the size of bats (very rubbery, non-scary bats). Of course they have to suck a lot of blood. Humans have to find a way to fight back!"
4. Illegal Aliens-Anna Nicole Smith's final movie. How could I NOT cover this?
IMDB says: ""Charlie's Angels" goes sci-fi, with a touch of "Men In Black" thrown in for good measure, when three aliens morph into super-hot babes and arrive to protect the earth from the intergalactic forces of evil. Guided by Syntax, their holographic mentor, these Illegal Aliens are willing to use every trick in the book and every sexy outfit in their wardrobe to accomplish their mission! This film is filled with high-energy action, lowbrow spoofs and the high-camp acting reminiscent of the classic B-Movie genre how else could this film get away with Anna Nicole Smith saving the world? "Illegal Alien's" pokes fun at today's Hollywood and pays tribute to the so-called "Bad Movies" we all love to hate!"
5. Dumpster Baby-All those years ago when I last did a "you pick the movie I should review poll" this was one of the choices that no one picked. Will it be picked this time around?
IMDB says: ...nothing. No synopsis. Huh. Guess you'll have to go in blindly on this one.
6. Fantastic Four (The Roger Corman Version)-This famous bootleg of the failed 1994 Fantastic Four film is like movie legend. You can only find this on the internet or at conventions. Thankfully, I have connections!
IMDB says: "When an experimental space voyage goes awry, four people are forever changed by cosmic rays: Reed Richards, inventor and leader of the group gains the ability to stretch his body and takes the name Mr. Fantastic. His girlfriend, Sue Storm, gains the ability to turn invisible and create force fields becoming The Invisible Girl. Her little brother, Johnny Storm, becomes The Human Torch with the ability to control fire, including covering his own body with flame. The pilot Ben Grimm is turned into the super-strong, super-tough Thing. Together they become a team of super-heroes and use their unique powers to foil the evil plans of villains."
There you have it! The poll will be up until Friday November 5th. So vote! And choose wisely. This is YOUR chance to make ME suffer...
...god I should rethink this whole thing.
-Jason
Friday, October 29, 2010
December is Reader's Choice Month!
The month of December, whether you like it or not, is usually devoted to Christmas. You spend the entire month worrying what you're gonna get your loved ones. You worry about where you're gonna have Christmas dinner. And god help you if you HOST Christmas dinner. Then, it's all over in a blink of an eye and next you know, it's another year and you feel old, so you go to the liqour store and buy as much booze as you can handle, and then some, and go home, alone, and drink while watching every "Friday the 13th" movie with your cat Mittens and you are so depressed and lonely and you look out the window and wonder how many floors it is, 6 or 7? Does the bottom floor count? Would it still hurt? You-
Oh. Sorry.
Anyway.
Since it's a month about giving and not recieving, I decided to turn the programming of The Site to you as a gift! That's right! YOU GET TO TELL ME WHAT TO REVIEW FOR THE ENTIRE MONTH OF DECEMBER!! How fucking awesome is that?
Now, I've done this before by asking people to give me movies that for whatever reason, that didn't work out so well. I figured people who read about shitty movies seen at least ONE shitty movie in their life and would think it'd be fun for me to poke fun at it. But that's not the case.
So instead, I went and picked some movies that sound interesting to me and I'll have YOU pick which five you think I should take on! I'll list each one and give you a short description, with a link to IMDB so you can look at the poster art. (I'm not giving up my image space that easily!) Then you vote which one and I'll review it!
There's 25 movies in all and I'm gonna post five a week throughout November, with a new poll on each Monday, and having them end on Friday. It sounds easy enough. Let's hope that's the case, shall we? Anyway, I'll start the first five on November 1st, so keep an eye out!
Merry Christmas!
-Jason
Oh. Sorry.
Anyway.
Since it's a month about giving and not recieving, I decided to turn the programming of The Site to you as a gift! That's right! YOU GET TO TELL ME WHAT TO REVIEW FOR THE ENTIRE MONTH OF DECEMBER!! How fucking awesome is that?
Now, I've done this before by asking people to give me movies that for whatever reason, that didn't work out so well. I figured people who read about shitty movies seen at least ONE shitty movie in their life and would think it'd be fun for me to poke fun at it. But that's not the case.
So instead, I went and picked some movies that sound interesting to me and I'll have YOU pick which five you think I should take on! I'll list each one and give you a short description, with a link to IMDB so you can look at the poster art. (I'm not giving up my image space that easily!) Then you vote which one and I'll review it!
There's 25 movies in all and I'm gonna post five a week throughout November, with a new poll on each Monday, and having them end on Friday. It sounds easy enough. Let's hope that's the case, shall we? Anyway, I'll start the first five on November 1st, so keep an eye out!
Merry Christmas!
-Jason
Wednesday, September 01, 2010
New Poll: What Day Should Reviews Be Posted On?
My job kinda makes it difficult to have a regular posting schedule. But I been kinda neglecting the site recently so I should be able to shuffle some things around and at least have a new review ready to post on a certain day.
So I use to post on Sundays but now I have to work on Sundays (sometimes). I seem to have Wednesdays off lately, but I don't wanna step on Nolahn's toes. Not knowing what else to do, I decided to throw it out to you people. So tell me:
What Day Should I Post New Reviews On?
Thanks!
-Jason
So I use to post on Sundays but now I have to work on Sundays (sometimes). I seem to have Wednesdays off lately, but I don't wanna step on Nolahn's toes. Not knowing what else to do, I decided to throw it out to you people. So tell me:
What Day Should I Post New Reviews On?
Thanks!
-Jason
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Work Them Polls, Girls!
I'm gonna put up a poll to see what popular opinion there is of this subject. I guess that's the actual definition of a poll but whatever.
So the question is: Would you like to see a FaceBook page dedicated solely for The Lair of the Unwanted?
We want to make the show as interactive as possible, which is why we set up a email address but no one seems to want to send in an email. So maybe if we did it through FaceBook it'd garner some interest? Plus maybe it'll tell how many people actually listen to the damn show besides me, Nolahn, Travis, and Bubba from the Terre Haute Prison. So I'll keep the poll up for a couple of weeks and close it before we record the July episode and if enough people say yes (or some variation of yes), then I'll create one.
Cool? Cool.
-Jason
Saturday, November 14, 2009
A Mexican, An Irishman, and a Poll Walk Into A Bar
(To anyone offended by the title, I am all three. Suck it.)
Anyway, I gots some poll results for you!
First, during the test run of New Feature Week, I asked if Ed Wood and Tommy Wiseau were to participate in the 48-Hour Film Festival, who would make the worst movie. And the clear winner is Tommy Wiseau!
To anyone confused, the 48-Hour Film Festival is a film project where aspiring film makers show up at a location on a Friday night, are given a genre, a prop, and a line of dialouge, and then they have 48 hours to make a short film with all the stuff given to them. I went to a screening of one a few years ago and there was some good stuff. Along with some "weird" stuff. So I guess it would make sense Ed Wood would win since he proved he can make a FEATURE length film in two days. A short film would be nothing.
Onto the second poll, I asked which feature did you guys like and the CLEAR winner here is Overthinking Question Monday. And only one vote for Site/Personal News Friday.
Despite the zero votes it got, I probably will be doing the Trailer Thursday from time to time. So look out for that! Word.
-Jason
Anyway, I gots some poll results for you!
First, during the test run of New Feature Week, I asked if Ed Wood and Tommy Wiseau were to participate in the 48-Hour Film Festival, who would make the worst movie. And the clear winner is Tommy Wiseau!
To anyone confused, the 48-Hour Film Festival is a film project where aspiring film makers show up at a location on a Friday night, are given a genre, a prop, and a line of dialouge, and then they have 48 hours to make a short film with all the stuff given to them. I went to a screening of one a few years ago and there was some good stuff. Along with some "weird" stuff. So I guess it would make sense Ed Wood would win since he proved he can make a FEATURE length film in two days. A short film would be nothing.
Onto the second poll, I asked which feature did you guys like and the CLEAR winner here is Overthinking Question Monday. And only one vote for Site/Personal News Friday.
Despite the zero votes it got, I probably will be doing the Trailer Thursday from time to time. So look out for that! Word.
-Jason
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Dancin' On The Poll
I was at work today and I thought "Hm. High School Musical 3 should be hitting DVD soon. It's a big popular thing where the advert of the DVD release will be pounded in my skull until I'm dead and roasting in hell, much like the theatrical release. I know! I'll go home, look up the date when it'll be released, then set up a poll asking people if I should review it, with the closing date the day it's released! Boy I'm clever!"
Needless to say I was in the bathroom for a long time at work today.
So I get home and do the research only to find...
It's been released already. In February. The fuck? Does ANYBODY remember hearing about it? I mean when it was being released in theaters, they put the damn ad's everywhere. Even during shows no typical fan of HSM would watch like "Lost" or "Debbie Does Dallas 4: This Time It's JAPAN!" So how come news of the DVD wasn't spread like wildfire on Vanessa Hudgen's crotch?
Anyway.
I still set up the poll but made it June 1st cause I plan on having the first draft of my book done by then. (God willing). Then maybe I can turn June into another "Jason Tackles Teeny-Bopper Movies" month or something. As you see on the poll to the right, the options are:
Yes, On The Site-Since I got the first two up there, might as well make the third there.
Yes, On The Blog-Only review here and that's it.
Yes, Make It A Mass Invasion-This is tricky. All the mass invaders are my friends. Making them watch this will probably make them want to kill me. But since they have the right to vote, they can decide if they wanna go this route or not.
NO NO NO NO NO!-Self explainitory.
And if you could, anyone who does vote leave a comment so I know who said what and why and stuff. If the number of votes don't equal the amount of the comments I get, I'm gonna come after you and make you watch ALL THREE MOVIES! IN A ROW! With no bathroom break. Cause there's stuff in the bathroom you can use to kill yourself.
Anyway. Thanks!
-Jason
Needless to say I was in the bathroom for a long time at work today.
So I get home and do the research only to find...
It's been released already. In February. The fuck? Does ANYBODY remember hearing about it? I mean when it was being released in theaters, they put the damn ad's everywhere. Even during shows no typical fan of HSM would watch like "Lost" or "Debbie Does Dallas 4: This Time It's JAPAN!" So how come news of the DVD wasn't spread like wildfire on Vanessa Hudgen's crotch?
Anyway.
I still set up the poll but made it June 1st cause I plan on having the first draft of my book done by then. (God willing). Then maybe I can turn June into another "Jason Tackles Teeny-Bopper Movies" month or something. As you see on the poll to the right, the options are:
Yes, On The Site-Since I got the first two up there, might as well make the third there.
Yes, On The Blog-Only review here and that's it.
Yes, Make It A Mass Invasion-This is tricky. All the mass invaders are my friends. Making them watch this will probably make them want to kill me. But since they have the right to vote, they can decide if they wanna go this route or not.
NO NO NO NO NO!-Self explainitory.
And if you could, anyone who does vote leave a comment so I know who said what and why and stuff. If the number of votes don't equal the amount of the comments I get, I'm gonna come after you and make you watch ALL THREE MOVIES! IN A ROW! With no bathroom break. Cause there's stuff in the bathroom you can use to kill yourself.
Anyway. Thanks!
-Jason
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