Time for The Five! After it's one week hiatus! Or holiday. Whatever.
1. Happy Birthday, America!-
Last week was Independence Day, which is why there wasn't a Five then. When it comes to movies, there are very few relating to it. Of course there's "Independence Day" starring Will Smith & Bill Pullman about aliens deciding to butt rape us on our most treasured holiday. So it's up to the Fresh Prince and Seth Brundle to rape the aliens back! (That sounded weird. I'm sorry.) This film gets a lot of flack for some reason but dammit I like it. Sorry to say this, movie snobs all over the world, but IT'S A MOVIE WHERE YOU CAN TURN YOUR BRAIN OFF or whatever. Yeah, there are probably things that don't make sense like how a human computer is compatable with an alien computer and whatnot. But the aliens blowing shit up and the flying and the shooting and stuff is just cool.
The other 4th of July-related film that I can think of just happens to be a movie I reviewed back in 2006, called "Uncle Sam". If you wanna know what it's about, check out the review.
2. You Said "Cock" Huh-huh-huh-
I saw Hancock last Sunday. it's offical: either I'm the weirdest movie lover/goer in the world, or everyone else in the world is cause I freakin' loved this movie. I'm not exactly sure what many people's problem with it was, but I liked it cause it was a superhero movie that wasn't based on any type of comicbook. It was about a dude with powers that was a drunk and sorta homeless who saved people but the people weren't grateful cause he would destroy shit in the process. In comes Jason Bateman, who needed rescuing cause his car was stuck on a train track and a train was coming. This happened to me and a friend once and it was a pretty scary thing. Luckily, we got out before the train come. Yes, sadly, Will Smith didn't fly in and throw my car up in the air and smashed the train. Anyway, Jason Bateman turns Hancock's attitude around and now he's loved and stuff. Then there's a huge fuckin' plot twist that nobody in the theater expected cause everyone literally went "GASP!" when it was revealed. There were actual villains and stuff. I dunno, I liked it. Dammit.
3. Isn't It Ironic...Don't Ya Think?-
Bill Corbett was a performer and writer on "Mystery Science Theater 3000" for the last 3 or 4 years of the show. Now he's doing RiffTrax with Mike Nelson and fellow MST3K performer and writer Kevin Murphy. His other job is writing screenplays, which he wrote with a friend of his and it was titled "Starship Dave", and it was about an alien who comes to Earth in a Spaceship that looks like a human.
Well, the Hollywood machine got their grubby hands on it, changed the title, and gave the script to Eddie Murphey and "Norbit" director whoever that dude is and now we get "Meet Dave". I'm 90% sure none of this is what Bill had in mind.
Oddly enough, I kinda chuckled at a moment in the sneak preview/trailer:
The part when he's shaking hands with the one dude. I couldn't help myself. Maybe it won't be THAT bad...eh who am I kidding? Sorry, Bill.
4. Speaking Of MST3K-
I want this! The episodes aren't announced yet. There was a rumor that "Laserblast" and "Werewolf" was gonna be on it, but probably not. It's currently available for pre-order
which if you do through that link, I'll say to you "Thank you very much".
5. Two Quickie DVD Reviews-
As you no doubt noticed over there to the right under the DVD's I've Watched section, I saw "Be Kind Rewind" & "The Onion Movie".
First, "Be Kind Rewind". Yet again, maybe I'm a weirdo but I loved this movie. Granted, I think Michel Gondry's a genius and all of his movies are visually stunning, which was NOT a complaint everyone had. The complaints that I did read was some of the following:
-What's up with it being a VHS store?
Well, it is mentioned in the movie that they are probably the last VHS rental place when everyone else went to DVD's. But, to me, the store was kind of a character, like how many people say the van in "Little Miss Sunshine" was a character. It had a charm that you don't seem too often in this fast paced modern world. It was old, run down, and you can only find old rundown things inside it. I happened to like places like that. Eventually, Danny Glover's character tried to make the switch to DVD, but everyone thought it was a bad idea. I like DVD's as much as the next guy, but VHS does have a old charm to it, to me anyway. Since I use to have a shitload of VHS movies back in the day.
-Jack Black was annoying.
Actually, this is said about him in most of his movies. He got on my nerves only one time and it was towards the end when he wouldn't let Mos Def's character use the piano with the keys being people's fingers. I thought that was quite clever. The rest of the time, I found him funny and, well, he was SUPPOSE to be annoying. That's like people saying they don't like Jason Vorhees cause he kills people.
Ok enough of that, I gotta get to the Onion Movie. It could've been better, but it was still funny enough where I wasn't miserable the whole time. I gotta give it up to Steven Segal for playing himself, which in turn made fun of himself. The entire movie is pretty much a sketch movie, like "The Kentucky Friend Movie" or "Amazon Women On The Moon". One of the bits was about Dungeons and Dragons and the geeks, er, fine fine people (I forget who my fans are sometimes, sorry) that play it. In come this guy and, well, here's the scene. Tell me who the main doucebag geek reminds you of:
Hint: I talked about him in the "Be Kind Rewind" portion.
So it could've been better but there was too much repetition, like with the Fake Britney Spears chick and them playing all her songs over and over again. It's like "We get the joke, she's like Britney, her songs have sexual undertones to them, move on." But no. Oh well. It's still worth a rental in my opinion.
That'll do her for this week. Keep cool and hydrated, it's finally getting Death Valley hot outside.