Friday, May 21, 2010

Awesome News 600

I can't think of a better way to spend my 600th post by saying the following:

This is my 600th post.

No seriously. I been nominated for not one, not THREE, but TWO LAMMY's!! WOO!!! Wanna know what category(s)?

Is it biggest dumbass in the world or most retarded or biggest stupid-head? Hee-hee-hee!

Who are you?

I'm your enemy. I was established a year or so ago.

Oh yeah. Where you been?

Trying to count backwards from 10. It's hard work.

Good luck with that.

Anyway. I been nominated in two categories: Funniest Writer and Best Horror/Sci Fi Blog! Wow! People think I'm funny! I told you!

Whatever. 10...4...8...dammit!

The cool thing is the people I'm nominated with in both categories. I mean it's basically between me and Fletch and Final Girl and He Shot Cyrus and some other chicks I never really heard of before but they're both named Sarah so I'm sure they're hot (It makes sense, girls named Sara/h or Jessica are just hot. Prove me wrong.)

Since the voting is only open to the LAMBs, I'll make my case to them on why they should vote for me in both categories.

1. When growing up, his mother had to work 18 hours a day for 7 days straight so he was raised by an old boot named Mrs. McNannty. Mrs. McNatty was MEAN!
2. I live in Indiana. Seriously. The people nominated in both categories, they live in cool states like California, Arizona and....other cool states! I live in fucking' Indiana! I can't buy or drink booze on Sunday's! Cars driving in a fast circle is considered the state sport! I see more big pick up trucks with GIT R DONE written on the back than I do Starbucks! I LIVE IN FUCKING INDIANA!!!
3. I work in the ghetto so I run the chance of getting shot or stabbed (or both depending on what day) every day. I might die any day now.
4. I just watched the WORST horror movie ever made. And it's being called one of my best reviews. C'MON!

5. I drink my own pee! tee-hee-hee!

Ew, you drink your own pee?


That's gross dude. Go away.

Ok, I'm done. In all seriousness, if you want to vote for me, that would be awesome. I'll take either award. BOTH would be nice but that's being too greedo shot first greedy. Everybody that got nominated deserved to be nominated and I hope the best people really do win. Good luck to everybody!

Jason sucks cocks in hell!

Shut up.


Rachel said...

"...girls named Sara/h or Jessica are just hot. Prove me wrong."

What about Sarah Jessica Parker? Do both names used together cancel out potential hotness?

Nolahn said...

"What about Sarah Jessica Parker? Do both names used together cancel out potential hotness?"


Congrats on the nominations! I'm looking forward to next year when Lair of the Unwanted sweeps the podcast categories!

(Uh... "category")

Jessica said...

Woot for post 600. Hi! Love your blog, I'm a B-movie addict and I work in film (and my name is Jessica. Seriously.) I thought I'd share a doc I saw recently - It warmed my heart seeing "Popatopolis" (I saw it in the theater, but the DVD is out: Popatopolis Trailer ). The film covers Jim Wynorski, one of the most prolific B-movie directors of all time, as he shoots his masterpiece The Witches of Breastwick in three days. The despair of the sound guy who has to keep rolling all the time because he never quite knows whether camera is rolling – the line where Jim goes to rent a light kit and asks for something that is good for lighting breasts (and ends up with all of two lights), and the scene where they fake fire in a dark park using flashlights (“we could get a generator, a light, and a permit” “Yeah, that’d be one way to do it”) had me rolling – especially knowing that Wynorski made more money off of this microbudget film than I’ve made off of all the films I’ve made put together. Sort of puts things into perspective.