Friday, July 30, 2010

The Challenge: 1997-Justice League of America

I'm barely squeaking this in for the month but I watched it and now I'm writing about it. For this months Challenge, Nolahn decided to take it easy with me, and had it tie in my miserable failure of a blog-a-thon called Summer of '90's by having me review the made-for-TV/never seen pilot of "Justice League of America". In turn I gave him..."House of the Dead".

Fuck, he's gonna strike back with a vegenace.

Anyway. JLA: The Live Action Series, isn't too bad. It's pretty fucking simple. So simple I can break it down thusly:

The Plot-A guy calling himself The Weather Man is able to create weather on command and threatens New Metro, U.S.A (I thought it was New Metro Republic of Chad!) to destroy the city with a hurricane, tornado, a hailstorm, and finally a tidal wave if the city doesn't pay $200 million. The only people that can stop The Weather Man? The Justice League!

The Characters-There's The Flash, who when he's not The Flash is an unemployed guy who gets kicked out of his apartment. He moves in with Atom, a science teacher who can shrink down to the size of...well you know, and The Green Latern, who seems to have girlfriend problems. There's also Fire, who is an aspiring actress, and their leader who they simply call John despite him being an alien. So these people all got their powers one way or another (I'm sure if you're watching this, you're a fan of the comics and know already. I didn't but I didn't really care either) and now formed the Justice League to help humanity.

We also meet who's gonna be Ice. These people have real names but I'll be damned if I can recall them. One of them is named Ben? Terry? Joe? I dunno, whatever. Anyway, Ice works for Eno (I remember that one), who's played by Miguel Ferrer, who was in...a lot shit. He's pretty cool. Anyway, Eno runs some weather institute and Ice is his right hand girl. Ice falls for him. Too bad he's...oh I shouldn't spoil it. Yeah, you can see it coming but whatever.

Anyway, one night Ice spills water on something we don't see and she gets her powers. Now she can randomly freeze things. Well sometimes. Sometimes she touches a glass and it turns to ice, other times she touches it and it does nothing. The JLA finds out and wants to recruit her.

They put her through training but she can't concentrate with everyone looking at her. She ends up being worthless up until the end.

The Problems-Where to start. Fire doesn't do a damn thing to disguise herself when she's Fire. Everybody else wears disguises but she simply puts on some makeup and "OMG WHO IS FIRE?!?!" At least Superman put something tangible on to hide who he was. This chick is like "Eh, just a tad bit of green here, they'll never know!" There's a subplot where this stalker Martin figured it out based on the earrings he gave her but she's like "NO! That's not me! What are you talking about?!" This gets resolved by alien John, who can change his apperance, appearing as Fire in front of the real Fire. Martin is satisifed and he leaves to jerk off to her picture.

Second problem, throughout the entire show, they keep cutting to these interview style things where the JLA are talking...about stuff that's not happening in the episode! I don't get the point of these! And who are they talking to?? I hope this wasn't suppose to happen in every episode cause if it was I would've burned something.

Ok so eventually it's revealed that Eno is The Weather Man (big shock I know) and he's gonna waste the city by crushing it with a tidal wave. The JLA fly around doing stuff while Ice just mopes around. She eventually realizes she's the only one to stop this by freezing it before it hits the city. The city is saved. Except it's never mentioned how they unfroze it and stopped it from hit the city eventually.

There's a bit at the end where she and Atom is walking around and some kids are playing in some water coming from a fire hydrant. She does her thing and it starts snowing. People are happy about this. I'd be pissed! The kids were playing in water in bathing suits! Now they're gonna freeze to death! Good job, Ice. Give kids hypothermia.

Ok, so there's no images cause the only way to really see this is on Youtube, so if you want you can watch it, starting here. Overall, it wasn't TOO terrible and it was kinda fun. If Miguel Ferrer was gonna be the villian throughout the series I would've watched just for him. But get rid of those annoying interviews. Ugh.


1 comment:

Nolahn said...

You're a far kinder man than I.