Saturday, December 05, 2009

The Horrible Tragic Life of Dr. Feet: Chapter Three

I quickly dialed Adam's number. I looked at the clock. Only an hour has passed. If he started the movie after getting off the phone with me, it should be almost over. I hope he's still sane enough to answer the phone. After the 15th ring, I gave up and feared the worse.

"Rick Springfield, we have to go to L.A."
"It's Rickard. Agent Springfield, rather. Do you know where in L.A your friend lives?"
"Yeah, I visited him once. I still remember how to get there."
"Then we don't have time to waste."

I followed Rick outside and he was in a rented black car. I'm not good with makes and models of cars. It had four doors, was black, and looked brand new. I got in the passenger side and Rick quickly started the car and rushed to the airport, which was only 15 minutes from my house.

I guess with all the bailouts going on, the goverment couldn't afford private planes, so we had to buy two tickets directly to L.A. The plane was set to leave in 15 minutes. The advantage of having a F.B.I agent with you in an airport is you can bypass all the security. We got to the gate in record time.

We found our seats and I asked Rick if he had a case file on these deaths and any information on the movie, like the plot or the stars. Normally most b-movie actors tend to work with the same director cause they're the only ones giving them work. Rick handed me a file folder and when the plane was in the air, I opened it up.

"The Horrible Tragic Life of Dr. Feet" was an independant film by "first time director T. Thomas F. Coltrane", most likely a fake name. Not much is known about the plot since the only people who seen it ended up dead. According to it's Wikipedia page (obviously written by Mr. Coltrane) it tells the sad story of Doctor Iggy Feet, a doctor in Canada during the early 1900's. He fell in love with a patient, named Darla Candyapple but he finds out she's gonna die in two weeks. Realizing this, Dr. Feet spends his life finding a cure to Darla's disease, which is rare.

That just sounds boring but not bad. I wonder when the bad stuff starts. Then I read how it ends. Holy shit.

SPOILER ALERT!

Dr. Feet takes Darla's dead body and drags it into his basement. He hooks her up to this machine that he's been tinkering with during intervals of the movie and tries to reanimate her corpse. This goes horribly wrong and Dr. Feet ends up electrocuting himself. The spirit of Dr. Feet end up in the body of Darla, who now wakes up. Dr. Feet, now in the body of a woman, lives the rest of Darla's natural life.

The hell?

I don't know if that would make me wanna kill myself but it does sound stupid. Whatever drugs this T. Thomas F. Coltrane is smoking, it should be illegal. Apparently I been going over this case file for 4 hours cause next thing I know we're over California. I closed the case file, realizing that was only the first 45 minutes of the movie. We land in LAX and Rick rents a car.

I navigate Rick through L.A until we hit a certain part of L.A that Adam lives in. After trying to read some of the billboards which are in some other language, we find Adam's place. I jump out of the car and run up to Adam's door, which swings open.

"Fuck", I say. "Adam? You home? Alive?"

I start to step in when I feel Rick push me back. He has his gun out.

"F.B.I! Come on out!"

There is no answer anywhere. Rick steps into Adam's apartment and I follow. I look around. In the living room the TV is on and showing a black screen. The DVD player is on and playing the black screen on a loop. I go to the DVD player and press eject. The DVD pops out and I look at the DVD. Handwritten on the front are the words "The Horrible Tragic Life of Dr. Feet". I take the DVD and find the case, which just has a piece of tape on it with the title written on it and nothing else. No pictures, no description, no star rating. Not even a fractured statement from some made up movie critic.

"This movie....good....best....yourself!"-Dave Guy

Rick comes back into the living room, putting his gun into his holster.

"You need to see this," Rick says to me. I put the DVD into the pocket of my hoodie. Which reminds me, now that I'm in L.A I'm fucking burning up. I take the hoodie off and walk into Adam's bedroom with Rick. Rick takes me to Adam's computer and shows me what's on the screen.

"Has Adam ever visited you in Indianapolis?" Rick asked me.
"No, he kinda hates Indy. Didn't even want me to move there."

I look at the screen and notice that he has my address typed into Google Maps and what is possibly the worst set of directions to get to my house from the airport. Who the hell writes these things?

"It looks like he's after you," Rick says.

1 comment:

Wings said...

And the plot thickens!