Everyone knows by now that I was suppose to be on the MILFcast this past Saturday but I was unable to make it at the last minute. So Scott from Frankly, My Dead Podcast pretended to be me, which was hilarious. Part of this particular episode of the MILFcast was a round-table of "Heather Is Always Right". It'll take too long to explain what that means but pretty much she asks questions, we have to answer and she picks the best answer. For deeper detail, listen to any given episode of the MILFcast.
Anyway, Kai sent us the questions a week or so in advance and I had my answers ready to go but I didn't know what to do with them...until now! Here are the questions and my answers.
1. How did Tina Fey get that scar on her face?
She was giving Chuck Norris a blowjob and he jizzed on her face.
2. Pick 3 Movie Monsters: Of them, who would you Fuck, Marry, Kill? And why?
I would Marry Jason cause how cute would that be? I'd kill Chucky to show how easy it'd be. I'd Fuck The American Werewolf of London cause he's hunky and he'd give me the hook up on free Dr. Pepper.
3. How do you get rid of a garden/house/underwear gnome? (Apparently Heather needs help on this issue)
Well, if it's an underwear gnome, you put a shitload of underwear into your dryer with the door open and wait. When it/they make a grab for them, slam the door and start it on high. Ta-da. Garden/house gnome? Just move.
4. Who is the greatest science fiction villain of all time?
L. Ron Hubbard.
5. What would you do if you were approached by David Bowie on a middle school playground and asked to purchase skittles from him?
I don't even know what this question means, honestly. I think Heather secretly takes a fair amount of drugs and comes up with this weird shit. And I'd probably so "No thank you" cause I don't like Skittles.
6. Who is the most entertaining actor/actress in show business?
That's easy. Tommy Wiseau.
7. Who is the greatest movie swordsman of all time?
8. Explain. Jennifer Aniston. Career?
Apparently, everybody hates Jennifer Aniston for some reason. I don't mind her. She's pretty hot. I'd do her. Yeah.
9. Best movie sex scene ever?
Toss up between the one in "Mulholland Drive" and the one in "Black Swan".
10. When will Skynet actually become self aware?
Didn't it happen already? Wasn't Judgement Day like in 1999 or some shit? I forget. I never seen Terminator 3 or Salvation.
11. Do your celeb impressions mother truckers!
I had a good one planned, but I'll save it for when I'm one next time.
Kai, Heather-You need to tell me which answer I would've gotten "right". I'm pretty proud of these answers. Oh and anytime I ever did "Whoever Is Always Right", despite it being set up so the guest wins, I never won. So there's that I guess.