Tuesday, October 11, 2011

The Soto List: Top Ten Horror Movies I Want To See

This being the month of Halloween, I thought it'd be fun to give you guys a run down of the Top Ten Horror Movies I Want To See In The Next Year. Just to let you know, some of these titles will probably show up as a review of some sort, so think of this as a preview of the next year.

10. Blood Night: The Legend of Mary Hatchet

As long as it isn't MOLLY Hatchet! The movie features Danielle Harris, who has been in every horror film since the '80s and been in stuff you wouldn't believe. And she's hot. So there's that.

9. Chopping Mall

This was featured on one of my favorite podcasts Outside The Cinema. I've heard of it before but after watching that trailer, I can't wait to see it. It's about killer robots in a mall. How CAN it not be good?

8. Die-ner (Get It?)

Nick Jobe has been trying to get me to watch this movie since he seen it, I dunno, 20 years ago or something. I finally give up and I promise I will in the next year or so. Happy, Nick?

7. The House of The Devil

All my smart horror movie friends go on and on about this movie. I been a bit leary only cause I hear it's 80% set up, which I'm not a huge fan of. But I guess I'll have to break down and check it out. I do like how it looks like an '80s film, right down to the characters wearing those old Walkman's.

6. Return to Sleepaway Camp

I love the first movie, and I haven't seen the sequels yet. From what I hear, this film isn't really related to the others so I could probably just jump ahead. The trailer makes the movie look entertaining enough and I had no idea Issac Hayes was in it. I swear I'll die if he said "Hello Children!"

5. Long Island Cannibal Massacre
There is something resembling a trailer on Youtube, but it's 4 minutes long and I think it gives away the whole damn movie. Not that it matters, cause it looks fucking stupid and awful. But, that's what I do. I guess if anybody asked me what type of movies do I review, I'd direct them to this one. I'd normally be excited about watching this kind of awful movie, but after the debacle that was "Murder Weapon", I've learned to not get too excited and wait till I see the movie.

4. All The Boys Love Mandy Lane

I will find a way to watch this movie this year, if it kills me. KILLS ME!

3. Grave Encounters

ANOTHER found footage movie? Yeah. But this one looks...(shudder).

2. Truth or Dare? A Critical Madness

Again, thanks to Outside The Cinema for exposing me to this one. When I heard their review, I immediately went on Amazon and bought a cheap VHS copy. I haven't watched it yet but I know when I do, it'll be a good time. And this is the best trailer I could find.

1. The Human Centipede 2

Why wouldn't it be my number 1? The plot is pretty interesting, and the black and white angle is different. Why not?

So that's it. Ten completely different horror films (sorta) that I can't wait to watch. What are YOU looking forward to seeing?


Kev D. said...

Chopping Mall is pretty sweet. I found it on DVD for 3 bucks a few years ago, and watched it while drinking fairly large amounts of beer with buddies.

Best line in the movie:
"Steady... GO FOR IT!"

It's as eighties as they get.



nolahn said...

I too can verify that CHOPPING MALL is a big bag of awesome.

Evil-Lyn said...

Grave Encounters was nothing like the found footage of Blair Witch or Paranormal Activity.it starts off as a sort of jumpy film but then it goes somewhere else completely.*shudder* would be correct.

Nick said...

About time!

Jason Soto said...

Kev and Nolahn: I heard nothing but great things about "Chopping Mall".

Nick: Shush :P

greensucksbluerules said...

The House of the Devil is garbage. People only like it because it emulated the style of 80s horror films. Doesn't mean it's good.

Barely anything happens for most of the film, the tone completely changes near the end, and the last act is so laughably idiotic, it makes my head hurt. It's a bad mash-up of Rosemary's Baby, Babysitter Wanted, and The People Under the Stairs.