Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Black vs White: Who's More Disturbing?

Since I take the bus to work every day, I have a lot of time to think of stupid crap that probably isn't important. One of those things I thought of recently was the stereotype of black people being loud and obnoxious in movie theaters.

This stereotype has been played out in some movies, like Scary Movie:

And to a lesser extent, Malibu's Most Wanted:

So this got me wondering if there was some truth to the stereotype. Because I personally have dealt with loud white people in theaters, along with loud black people in theaters.

First off, a couple of years ago when Sin City was out, me and my fiance went to see it at a theater in Indianapolis. What she didn't tell me until later was it was in the "shady" part of town, so what happened in the theater wasn't too surprising. First off, some point during the middle of it, three black chicks walked in and seriously yelled out for some other chick's name. After everyone went "SHH" to them, one of them yelled back "Don't shh me!" Cause, you know, screaming out for someone during a movie isn't rude at all. Then later in the movie (Kinda spoilerish if you haven't seen Sin City) the part where Bruce Willis cuts off the nuts of The Yellow Bastard, literally a whole row of black people up front just stood up and shouted "HELL NAW!! HE CUT HIS NUTS OFF!!" and ran out of the theater. Later, as we were leaving the theater, I heard one of these guys on the phone talking about this experience. I found it funny.

And then recently, me and my fiance went to see No Country For Old Men and it was playing in this theater that only shows artsy movies that isn't shown in other theaters. Why they were showing this, I dunno, but whatever. And inside this theater was made up mostly of white people. The people I'm gonna be focusing on for this story is the old guy and some lady who sat behind me, and this lady who sat in front of Felicia. Oh and this MIGHT contain spoilers for No Country For Old Men, but I'll try to be careful about it.

So the main bad guy in the movie carries around this thing that's hooked up to an air compressor so it shoots out nails or something. And this guy used this a lot during the movie. So anytime he did, the lady in front of my fiance would literally jump and give a little scream. Every. Single. Time.

Then the old dude and lady behind me. I swear every 5 minutes the old dude would say quite loudly "What did he say?" "Why did he do that?" "Is" And the lady, loudly, would explain or repeat stuff. Oh and at two points during the movie, someone's cell phone went off. And it was the same one. It was the same ringtone.

OH! And when we went to see Juno, there was this encounter with these annoying ass WHITE teenage girls who literally said "EW" for every damn thing that happened. Juno spit out a slurpee. "EW!" The doctor squirted some jelly on Juno's belly. "EW!" Juno gave birth. "EWWWWWW!!!" The only positive thing I can say about this is maybe this scared them from getting pregnant.

Oh and one time a while ago, some dude got arrested DURING a movie. He was white.

So if I add up my personal experiences, I think white people are more annoying and disturbing at movie theaters. I think we should just lay off this stereotype that ONLY black people cause big ruckus' at the theater. Let's just say that movie goers are divided into two groups: those of us who want to remain quiet and respectful during the movie. And loud ignorant ass people who are major assholes. Which category do YOU fall in?

Of course, there was that one time when I saw "Freddy vs Jason" and this group of black chicks screamed throughout the entire movie...oh well.


Anna said...

Omg Jason, you don't know how much I agree with you. As for me, most of my bad experiences have been with white folk. Every single time I see a movie there is at least one person who has to get their cell phone out during the movie to text or whatever. It's so f*cking rude! I just want to grab my popcorn bucket and chuck it at their head as hard as I can. Grrr! I go to the theater to be entertained by the movie, not by stupid ass people who don't know social movie theater etiquette or are too lazy to adhere to it. Now look, you got me all on a tangent! :P ~Anna

Adam Blank said...

Having worked in a movie theater in Gary, I have fucking HORROR STORIES about some of the patrons.

Of course, there were the people who tried to sneak food in. (Unfortunately we were next to a Long John Silver's, so they stank of fish). Then there were the people who didn't try to sneak food in, but brought two liters and buckets of chicken and shit with them in plain sight and FREAKED out when you told them that they couldn't bring it into the theaters and demanded that the theater refrigerate their food so they could have it later.

Then there were the people with babies. Nobody needs to take a fucking infant to the movies...EVER. I tried to convince my boss to charge babies twice as much for tickets because babies scream and cry, their parents sneak shit in the baby's bag, and because parents don't want to miss the movie by changing their baby's diaper in the restroom so they'd change them in the theaters and stuff the dirty diapers in the cup holders.

I got in arguements with people when they claimed their kids, who were obviously 8-10, were FOUR YEARS OLD.

Also, there were the parents who would drop off their children (not teenagers but CHILDREN) at the R rated late shows and leave them unattended. They'd swear they'd be back in 2 hours to pick them up. Once we had to call the police because the father didn't show and it was already about an hour after the movie had ended. The cops took the kids away to god knows where. That was a rare case; normally they'd come to pick their children up and smell like alcohol. About 99% of the horror stories I have about this particular theater involve black people.

I also worked at Showplace in Schererville. That place was full of mostly white people. That job sucked ass, but the white movie-goers were not half as crazy as the ones I encountered at the Ridge. In fact, aside from the teenagers, I can't think of any white adults in a movie theater that pissed me off. Except the old people who bitched about the price of the concession items.

I know it isn't going to be the popular opinion, but black people in movie theaters are far more annoying than whitey.