Wednesday, August 10, 2011

I FOUND THE GREATEST THING EVER!!!

Unfortuntely there's no trailer for it. And it's EXTREMELY hard to find. And it's not on official DVD. And it's on Amazon on VHS...for $25. So...why is this the greatest thing ever?

Let's hop in my bath tub time machine and go back to yesterday. I watched a little film called "Dreamanic" and it was the worst best thing I ever seen...besides the fucking ending. I forgot to mention in my review that it was directed by a guy named David DeCoteau. This name sounded very familar to me but I moved on with my life.

Ok, now we're back to the present. Very recently, I shown some friends of mine a movie called "Silent Night Deadly Night Part 2" starring the greatest actor ever, Eric Freeman.


Who DOESN'T wanna watch a movie starring this guy?!

So I got to thinking: What OTHER movies has Mr. Freeman been in? I think it's time I find out. So looking at his IMDb page, I find...he hasn't done much. I am a sad panda. But...let's look into the few movies he has done. Clicking on a 1989 film called "Murder Weapon"...



HOLY FUCKING SHIT DAVID DECOTEAU DIRECTED IT! And it stars everyone's favorite actress Linnea Quigley! ARE YOU MOTHERFUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!?!

The guy who made "Dreamaniac" DIRECTED the guy from "Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2" along with Linnea "I Love Getting Naked In Every Movie" Quigley?! This is like...my dream movie!!

And I can't find a trailer. There are scenes from the movie on Youtube, you think I'm gonna watch those? FUCK NO!!! So now I have to go through nefarious means to find this movie.

While I'm on the subject, it turns out this David DeCoteau directed a SHIT TON of movies I've seen and heard of. Including a bunch of homoerotic films called "The Brotherhood" and "Voodoo Academy". Holy shit, I hit the B-Movie payload.

So while I work on "getting" "Murder Weapon", just sit tight. A review will be forthcoming. Will it live up to my expectations? Probably not. But fuck it, this is fun nonetheless!
-Jason

2 comments:

Dr. Algernon Blacksteed said...

I love it when shit like this happens. Sounds like you found a gold mine.

Dylan said...

Linnea Quigley?!?!?! Yes!!!!!! Another title for me for her LLS game. I'm all set...now I have "one."