So I apologize that MST3K Month has been kind of a bust. I guess you could call it "my eyes were bigger than my stomach" cause frankly I just kinda lost track of time and I'm surprised it' already the 21st. Even though there's 9 days left in the month, and I could squeak out a few more reviews, I wouldn't have accomplished all that I wanted to. With that said...I did watch "A Touch of Satan" last night.
I can't even imagine what the filmmakers were going for when they made this movie. I watched this episode on Youtube (I do have it on VHS and it is on Instant Watch but I didn't feel like messing with any of that) and reading the comments I saw someone compare this to "Twilight" and oddly enough, it fits.
You have some guy named Jody driving cross country cause he "wants to be independent" from his father, who stops in a small town that keeps a secret! OOH!! There's been a bunch of killings in this town but no one seems to know who did it. Jody goes "alright then" and keeps on truckin' (it's a '70s film). He passes by a field and decides to stop there and eat lunch. There, he meets Melissa. She's sorta hot in a way that's hard to describe. I guess I can describe it this way: she's the only girl under 50 in this movie. So in that aspect, she's the hottest thing you'll see in this movie.
Anyway, what makes this movie memorable is.......the.......long.......pauses......between......conversations. Holy hell, did the director realize he only had enough material for a 30 minute movie and told them to talk slowly?
Anyway, Melissa invites Jody to her house to meet her parents. They get nervous for some reason, and get more nervous when Melissa makes Jody stay the night. Jody meets the great-grandmother, who's face is horribly burned and looks to be roughly 500 years old.
So what's going on? Basically, Melissa is a witch who, a long ass time ago (like 1850 or something) she and her family were attacked by the local townspeople who wanted to "burn the witch"! They started with Melissa's sister, who is the burned great-grandmother. Melissa saved her by selling her soul to Satan. And I guess this caused her to never age? It was never explained.
Jody doesn't believe any of this, even after watching sister/great-grandmother kill a cop in front of him. Melissa gets tired of her sister's shit and decides to kill her herself. The next day, Melissa and Jody fuck, which freed Melissa, I guess, and causes her to finally look her age. Jody claims he's in love with her and doesn't want her to die, so HE sells HIS soul to Satan to save her.
Man. I've said I been in love with my ex-girlfriends and thought I'd be with them forever. Glad I didn't do that.
Anyway, check out the MST3K episode if you haven't, there's a part where one of them time the pause and it gets to 8 seconds. It's ridiculous.