Wednesday, February 01, 2012

B-Movie Meatloaf: Hard Ticket To Hawaii (Sort of)

So here's the full story. After the last B-Movie Meatloaf, it was decided that I, Jason Soto, get to pick the next topic. After thinking for a few moments, I decided to go with "The Films of Andy Sidaris" mainly because I just recently purchased the box set with all his movies. I picked "Hard Ticket to Hawaii" for myself and was pleased as punch.

Then January happens. This I won't get into too much but some things went down and yadda yadda yadda, I don't have my DVD copy of "Hard Ticket to Hawaii". I looked EVERYWHERE online for it and couldn't find it available anywhere. I could've went the "illegal" route know things have been going down lately has a result of that.

So now stuck with nothing else to do, what I decided was scour Youtube, find all the clips of "Hard Ticket to Hawaii" I could find and watch those, to make some sense out of it. I will probably plan on reviewing the actual movie at some point but for now, this will have to do.

"Hard Ticket to Hawaii" stars Ronn Moss as Rowdy Abilene (Wow really? Rowdy? Ok...), Donna Speir as...Donna and some other people I'm sure aren't important. Anyway, I'm guessing Rowdy and some other chick who isn't Donna is on the beach and they come across some dude with a machine guy. After Machine Gun Guy tells them to go away, Rowdy starts throwing a frisbee at him and the Guy catches it all fancy like. Rowdy tells Not Donna to go away and when she does, he tells her for no real reason "You have a great ass". I'm sure she said "Oh I always wondered that. Thanks!" Anyway, Rowdy switches the frisbee with one with razor blades glued on it and he throws it, which immediately kills Machine Gun Guy. This scene is awesome.

Then there's a scene where Donna and some chick are in a room talking and the only posters you find are all movies Andy Sidaris made. Anyway, I don't know what the real point of this scene was. Besides boobs. Maybe that was the only point.

My next favorite scene outside the frisbee scene is probably this one with the snake. Some snake is bugging Donna and she doesn't know how to kill a snake with her boobs. So Rowdy comes in on a motorcycle and blows the fuck out of it with a bazooka. Damn dude. But it did the trick!


So this next scene, Rowdy and some guy is in a Jeep when some skateboarder is coming at them. The skateboarder is riding the skateboard on his hands. Rowdy and friend dodge him and move on. The skateboarder gets up and gets into a car with an Hawaiian guy and a blow up doll. They follow Rowdy until the skateboarder gets out, grabs the blow up doll, and chases after them. Rowdy then proceeds to run him over, throw him in the air, blow him up with a bazooka, and then blows up the blow up doll with a bazooka.


I'm afraid nothing could top that, so I'm ending there. I really can't wait to see this whole movie. I'm sorry I couldn't give you a full review but I think this will do for now. And from what I've seen, I've got to say it looks fucking amazing! I'm sure I will up this when I really get to it but for now I will have to give it:


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