Wednesday, February 08, 2012

The Soto List: Bad Musicals Edition



I normally don't watch musicals cause they're all pretty much the same. Guy. Girl. Love. Singing. The end. Sometimes, some movies decide to make a "far out there" musical, or just add a song out of nowhere for whatever reason. I wouldn't call these songs "Great" but they're probably the better part of the movie they were in. Here's my List of 10 Musical Performances From B/Bad Movies I've Seen!

10. Stunt Rock

From this year's B-Fest, the movie "Stunt Rock" delivered on it's title: there were stunts and there was rock and that's all there was! The rock was performed by this band called Sorcery and they had some catchy songs. The one I wanted to use, "Woman", I can't find on Youtube so you're getting this one instead. It gives you an idea on what they're all about.

9. Xanadu

When I first seen this movie, I couldn't get this damn song out of my head. But where else are you gonna see Olivia Newton-John dance with Gene Kelly and trying to woo the leader of "The Warriors"? Only in "Xanadu" my friend.

8. Alice in Wonderland (1976)

This is a musical porno version of "Alice in Wonderland". Suddenly the Johnny Depp version isn't so bad now, huh? Anyway, all the songs sounded the same to me, so I linked to this one cause it features people dressed like cats, promising to lick Alice dry. I...don't know. The '70s was a weird time.

7. Cool As Ice

This entire clip basically tells you the entire story of the movie. There's Vanilla Ice in that fucking weird ass outfit, trying to woo a girl who looks like my friend's ex-girlfriend, and all the "normal straight laced people" in town don't approve of such things like rap and dancing in public! Shock and awe! Vanilla Ice is in a town full of Republicans!

6. Rock n Roll Nightmare

Oh my god, "Rock n Roll Nightmare". I think I legitimately like this song. I think everyone should see this movie at least once. It's that amazing!

5. Hard Rock Zombies

So a band comes to some small town. They don't like rock music. At all. So naturally, the band is going to run around and make asses out of themselves. And I love that this song is simply called "Na Na Na". I guess "Doo Doo Dee Doo" was taken.

4. Forbidden Zone
(WARNING: VIDEOS BELOW ARE NOT SAFE FOR WORK! GET BACK TO WORK YOU SLACKER!)



This is a double shot cause this movie is SOOOOOOOOOO FUUUUCKINGGGGG WEEEEEIRD that you HAD to see for yourself. And I had to include Danny Elfman as Satan. I just had to, man!

3. New Years Evil

When I reviewed this movie in December, I found out I was the only one that thought this song was fun. I think people thought I took it seriously. You can't take this song seriously. It's good cheesy '80s hair metal, just like everything else I linked in this post. Enjoy!

2. Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Heart Club Band

You WILL believe that George Burns sang a Beatles song that may or may not be about heroin use. YOU WILL BELIEVE!

1. The Star Wars Holiday Special

Y'know, despite it being Bea Arthur singing, it's really not that bad. Of course, this song is about an hour into the "Special" and your mind is more or less fucking gone by this point, but still, it's not a bad song. I think Bea did a great job with what she had. RIP Bea.

And that's it. These weren't the best or the top or anything, just some of my favorites, mixed in with some I couldn't believe when I saw. Feel free to form your own opinion!
-Jason

3 comments:

Dave Enkosky said...

I wanted to see Stunt Rock ever since I saw it mentioned in Not Quite Hollywood. Is it available?

Also, love Rock n Roll Nightmare

Jason Soto said...

Honestly, I'm not sure about "Stunt Rock". I saw it at B-Fest this year. It's not on Netflix but is for buy on Amazon. I'll tell you right now, if you like watching stuntmen work and a cheesy '70s rock band perform live, this is the movie for you!
-Jason

Nolahn said...

Okay, we're cool. I would have denounced this list if XANADU didn't appear on it.