Jason on Jason: Friday the 13th Part 2

Last month, Miss Stacie over at La Chica Final had her readers review the UNCUT version of "Friday the 13th", the original. Which I did. Now, on my own, I decided to go ahead and tackle the rest of the series, but not all in one day. I don't have the time for that anymore (sadly enough) or probably the will power. So consider this a new feature on the blog, at least until we get to the end (the remake, which I saw in theaters already? Who knows.)

Anyway. Part 2 starts off with the survivor of the last film Alice wearing a horrible green jumpsuit/overall thing in bed. She's dreaming of the last 10 minutes of the previous film as we get a reminder on what happened. It made me think of "Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2", which must mean there's some rule where a sequel to a slasher flick has to spend time explaining what happened in the previous film.

Alice eventually wakes up and takes a shower. After an annoying phone call from Mom and a cat literally jumps through the window (I WILL HAZ CHEEZEBURGER, DAMMIT), Jason appears and kills Alice.

I never got that. He left the woods, somehow tracked her down, quietly snuck into her apartment, and killed a chick he didn't get to kill...five years ago? And after five years, Alice isn't over it? I mean, yeah it was a horrifying experience but I'd think after three, she'd be like "OK, I'm over it, let's go mountain climbing!"

Anyway.

So now we got a new group of victims and there's a whole mess of them. They have names like Jeff and Ginny and Paul and Mark and whatnot. I couldn't really keep track who was who, until it got down to Ginny and Paul, since they both said each other's names repeatedly.

So Paul is the new leader of a new camp JUST OFF of Camp Crystal Lake and, of course, he wants to get things ready. I don't get why this particular area is always targeted for a camp. Does this area have the best trees? Not as much mosquitoes? What? I do know, thanks to Paul, there are bears. Oh and a psychopathic killer named Jason!

The first night, Paul does the scary campfire thing and tells the story of Jason. I like to watch this footage and pretend he's talking about me.



That's right, I'm a demented creature. Remember that.

Anyway, the first victim (after Alice I mean) is Crazy Ralph, the guy that warned everyone to stay away. He was watching someone make out when Jason choked him.

Then there's the hippy (I guess?) couple, with the huge pickup truck. I forget the chick's name but she had some big tits, and I was dying to see them, but alas the only boobage we get is from the uptight chick sportin' in A's. The hippies sneak into Camp Crystal Lake but are caught by a cop. A bad cop at that. He spots a guy (Jason) running through the woods so the cop decides to follow him and follow him he does, for ten minutes, until coming upon Jason's Love Shack, but replace Love with Death. Or Murder.

As punishment for wandering around, the hippies have to stay at the camp and have sex while the rest of the characters that we'll never see again go to town to drink in a crowded smokey bar. I probably don't have to tell you the ones that stayed behind all get killed by Jason.

The only death worth noting is Mark the dude in the wheelchair. He's all in a wheelchair, getting hit on by a chick who got killed off camera (along with uptight boobage chick), thinking he's about to get laid by said chick (who took her sweet ass time doing everything), when here comes Jason with a machete to the face. And on top of that, the motion of said machete to the face causes Mark to go backwards and I guess this particular spot he was at was 500 feet up from ground level cause he goes rolling down the longest set of stairs I've ever seen. Poor Mark.

So hippies die, Mark dies, chicks die, this preppy pervert dies, time for Ginny and Paul to come back. They find blood but no bodies. They, for some reason, think Mark is upstairs when it's obvious this place really isn't handicap accessable (Why is he there anyway?) but instead they find Jason, who has a sack over his head, cause he don't get the hockey mask till the 3rd film (Trivia for you folks).

Jason and Paul fight, Jason wins, and he chases Ginny all over camp. There's a scene where Ginny is hiding underneath something and she sees a rat, so she pisses herself, which we see happening. Or I'm assuming it was piss we saw.

Anyway, Ginny escapes and she too finds Jason's Death Shack and the decomposing head of Jason's Mom and for some reason her sweater. Ginny gets the great idea to put the sweater on and pretend to be his Mom, which actually works, until he spots the decompsing head. But Paul bursts into the room, demanding a rematch, which distracts Jason long enough to get a machete in the shoulder.

Instead of getting the fuck outta there, they go back to a room in their camp and hear a noise. After five minutes of set up, it's revealed to be Muffin, a dog that belongs to uptight boobage chick. But sure enough, Jason comes flying in through the window, attacking Ginny, and giving us a good look at his disformed face.

Well...Ginny is ok. The next day, she's being put into an ambulance, asking where's Paul? This is never answered. What did happen to Paul? Did he tell Jason his life in exchange for hers or something? Oh well.

This movie, in my opinion, is better than the first one. Director Steve Miner does a good job with the camera work. It makes me think he wanted this one to be in 3-D but it wasn't for some reason. Or maybe this film inspired the 3-D of the third film, which if all goes according to plan, I should be watching next weekend. I'll let you know.

-Jason