Weekend Totals: May 18th-May 20th

I hate to sound all cocky (Huh huh huh) but I was right. Shrek the Third knocked off Spider-man 3, which is currently number 2. Glad to see 28 Weeks Later still in the top 5 spot. And Disturbia shows no signs of going away. Georgia Rule totally snuck in there, though. I didn't see that one coming.

So next week predictions:
Pirates 3 is defiantely gonna take the top spot, with Shrek 3 at number 2. Spiderman 3 may be number 3 or possibly lower. But for sure Pirates at 1 and Shrek 3 at 2.

That's all for this week.
-Jason

Funny Troll 2 Vid's on Youtube

In celebration of the 100th review being "Troll 2", and cause I found these while looking for the movie trailer, here are some video clips.

1.
"Troll 2 is Bringing Sexy Back"-Set to the Justin Timberlake song. If you don't like his music, then don't watch, but this video is pretty damn entertaining.

2.
One of those "Let's pretend this movie is a different type of genre". Here they try to make it a comedy/drama/heartwarming tale.

3.
All the horrible acting that appears in this movie. INCLUDES THE PISSING SCENE!!

That's all. And this just about fills my limit of "Troll 2" stuff. If I ever have to see or think about this movie again I'm gonna drink some Nilbog milk and take my chances.
-Jason

Troll 2 Is Finally Up!!

I know!!! It's finished!!! WOOT!!!

I now proudly present to you not only the 100th movie review to appear on the site, but the second ever "Mass Invasion".

Troll 2

Expect regular site updates from now on! YAY!!

Enjoy!
-Jason

Weekend Totals: May 11th-May 13th

I knew Spiderman 3 would win for another week, despite it's lukewarm response by critics and moviegoers alike.

28 Weeks Later did ok for itself though, so that's good.

"Hey, let's see that Lindsey movie now that it's finally made!"

Really, Disturbia is on this list? Are the people who saw it the last three weeks just seeing it again or what?

I can't believe Delta Farce made it in the top five. But then again seeing how many people in this country knows what "GIT R DONE" means, I'm not too surprised.

Glad Hot Fuzz still cracked the Top 10.

The rest I'm still "whatever" about.

New feature: Where I guess what will be number 1 next week. And looking at what's coming next weekend I think this is a no-brainer:
Shrek the Third. Spider-man 3 may just be knocked off finally until number 2. Or number 3, if more Larry the Cable Guy fans show up.
-Jason

Troll 2 Is Coming! But first...

Some updates! Woo!!

1. You can now search the site!! I put on this Google Search thingy that I been seeing on other websites and I figured what the hell. So if you ever wondered if I did a review of "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes" and don't feel like scanning the Reviews Page, you can do a search. Or if you ever wondered if I mentioned "The Fall Guy" in a review, you can search for that too. The search thingy can be found on the main page.

2. I got rid of the FAQ's page and replaced it with "The Guide", a page that describes every thing the site is about, including the features and other questions people may have. You can check that out here:
http://www.invasionofthebmovies.com/guide.html

3. I updated the links section. That is here:
http://www.invasionofthebmovies.com/links.html

Troll 2 will be coming soon!! I promise!!! There's been delays and relays and unlays and andales...well no, not enough andales...anyway. It'll be posted soon. Really. I swear.

Thanks,
Jason

Weekend Totals: May 4th-May 6th

Gee...what could the number one movie be this weekend? Hmm...could it be....maybe...The Flying Scotsman??? OHH!! Let's hope so!!



Damn, Spiderman 3. Who'd a thunk it?

So I saw Spiderman 3 last night. It was pretty dissapointing. Don't get me wrong, the action scenes were awesome but there was too much sappy crying shit going on. It was like a Lifetime movie with superheros in it.

But there were some funny parts too, which I liked.

And I guess everyone just went and saw Spiderman 3 this weekend, cause looking at last week's top ten it looks like not much changed. Weird.
-Jason

Weekend Box Totals: April 27th-April 29th

I can't believe Disturbia is STILL the number one movie. Maybe I need to see this thing. Man.

And The Invisible looks like a cool movie, so I'm glad this made it to number 2 at least.

Do we really need a movie version of "Next"? I mean, a two hour long version of five horny people on a bus trying to get a date, and one stuck up person who-wait. OHH!! Wait. This isn't a movie version of that. Gotcha.

Still upset that Hot Fuzz is stuck in the number 7 spot. Come on people!! British humor isn't bad!!!

Grindhouse nowhere to be seen but motherfuckin "Are We Done Yet" is on this list? Nothing makes sense anymore.

Excuse me I'm gonna go cry now.
-Jason

Weekend Box Office Totals: April 20-April 22

I dunno what to say about this at all. Disturbia is still the number one movie? I mean really? Why? Better movies came out this weekend. What about Hot Fuzz? (Which I'm seeing in about an hour.) Vacancy? Really?

And I really don't understand people at all. I know tons, TONS, of people who love Shaun of the Dead. Why isn't Hot Fuzz at LEAST in the top 5? But no. Instead "Meet The Robinsons" is there. I mean What the fuck, yo????

I have no opinion about the bottom 5. Just whatever to me. But fuckin' Grindhouse is gone from the list. I am sad and angry at the same time.

You.
People.
Fucking.
SUCK!

Thank you.
-Jason

Or Live Hard and Die Free?

Does anybody else think that the title "Live Free or Die Hard" is, well, kind of a stupid title? What does that even mean? I get that movie people are like "well if we call this Die Hard 4, it might not do so well" cause you know we're all stupid and don't realize this is the 4th movie in the series. Hell, the working title for the new Indiana Jones movie is simply "Indiana Jones 4". It's not "Save The World, Indiana Jones" or "Help Us, Indiana Jones" or even "Live Life like Indiana Jones". Plus, you know, Indiana Jones movies have cool titles. "Temple of Doom". "Last Crusade". "Raiders of The Lost Ark". So I have faith in the Indiana Jones people.

But "Live Free or Die Hard"? The hell is that? To quote from the trailer "Is that the best you can do?"

Oh well, I'm still looking forward to this movie.



-Jason

First Come First Served

So a spot opened up on the second Mass Invasion review for "Troll 2". So I'm sending this message out to everyone. If you wish to participate, now is your chance to email me back and say "I'll do it!!"

To the others already on board, if any of you wanna pick up a third chapter (I'm doing the final 3 chapters, I think doing 4 would be being a bit greedy or something), message me back and say "I'll do it!!"

Like the title says, it's first come first served so whoever messages me first about this gets the open chapters. In case you're wondering, it's chapters 5 and 6.

Thanks and hope to hear from someone,
Jason

New Review: Evil Bong

In honor of 4/20, I present you with a movie about some stoners, a nerd, and Tommy Chong fighting a possessed bong!!

And here is the 99th review for the site:
Evil Bong

Smoke em if you got em.
-Jason

Weekend Box Office Totals: April 13-15th

New Feature! WOOT!

After each weekend, I'll post a screencap of the top ten movies in America and sound off on it. Cause the general movie-going people in this country tend to piss me off with their choices. And this week is no exception.



1. Why is Disturbia the number one movie? Doesn't anyone see this is a huge rip off of "Rear Window"? If you wanna see a movie about some dude who can't leave his house (either cause his leg is broken or he's under house arrest) and as a result he spies on his neighbors, which in turn he realizes one of them is a murderer, and he gets a hot chick involved (Grace Kelly was hot in Rear Window) and there's tension and suspension and other crap...watch Rear Window.

2. I haven't see "Blades of Glory" yet. But I rather this be number 1 than Disturbia.

3 and 4 no opinion on.

5. Why is this even in the top 10? Ice Cube in a kids movie? No wait. A SEQUEL to a kids comedy? Whatever.

6. The fuck is "Pathfinder"?

7. I guess the old people were out in theaters this weekend if this is still in the top 10. Did I mention that the only people who like "Wild Hogs" are old people and people with no sense of humor? There, I just did. :D

8. I wanna see this.

9. Saw it. It was ok. The fight scenes were cool. And lots of chick tits, so that's a plus.

10. WHY IS THIS IN THE BOTTOM??? WHY???? I HATE YOU AMERICAN MOVIE GOING AUDIENCES!! I HATE YOU!!!!! ARRRGH!!!

Ok, my heart attack is over. Until next weekend.
-Jason

Name Changes and Other Stuff

After spending a few days going through my site, I
noticed a couple of things. Two of my features had
very generic names:
Multi-Person Review
and
Special Reviews

I spent a few days thinking about the Multi-Person
Review one since the new one is coming up and I
finally settled on a name:
MASS INVASION
It works, no?

As for the "special reviews", I really didn't intend
to make that a permenant name. I only created it cause
of that stupid thing with "that other site". But I
finally came up with a name yesterday for that:
PROBES
Cause, you know, the whole outer space theme
"invasion" thing...yeah.

So let me know what you guys think of the new names:
http://www.invasionofthebmovies.com/probes.html
http://www.invasionofthebmovies.com/tiscwslabmuz.html

And secondly, as I mentioned, the second "Mass
Invasion" is approaching. Me and the other brave souls
who voluneteered for this are gonna tackle "Troll 2".
We should have it done by the end of April.

And finally, there will be another 4-20 review, which
is gonna be the 99th review on the site. I'm keeping
the title to myself cause it's so damn goofy that it's
worth keeping to myself.

That's it. Hope you guys had a good Easter. I swear
I'm gonna tackle "Night of the Lepus" next year.
-Jason

Name Your Favorite Movie

I have a rather simple question for you guys. It's really easy and anybody can answer it.

What is your favorite movie?

That's it. Just name your favorite movie. And you can name more than 1. You can name only 1. You can list 100, a thousand, hell a million if you want.

And by "your favorite movie" I mean what movie/movies would you take with you on a desert island? What movie did you see that made you go "I need to buy that the instand it comes out on DVD?" Anything like that.

Even though I'm sure you guys know mine by now, I'll list some:
Pulp Fiction
Clerks
Snakes on a Plane
Ed Wood
Borat
Bubba Ho-Tep
Rear Window

That's just to name a few.

This is my new desktop:

Featured Review

Be sure to check out today's featured review:

Featured Review!

Enjoy!
-Jason

New Review: Satan's Blade

It's either a "Lifetime" story or the most boring horror movie I've ever seen.

Satan's Blade

Enjoy!
-Jason

Three More To Go...

Hey everybody!
(Hi Dr. Nick!)

So I counted up all the MOVIE reviews (Not including the shorts, Date My Mom Reviews, or "Special Reviews") and I find that I have 97. To break it down:
2 of those reviews were written by Bill Szany
1 of those reviews is the first Multi-Review featuring me and 7 of you fine people.
And that leaves 94 reviews written by yours truely.

To commemorate the 100th review on the site, I was thinking of doing another Multi-Review. So if you had fun (sorta) the last time you did it and wanna do it again, let me know. Or if you didn't get to do it last time for whatever reason and wanna do it, let me know. Or if you think I should go jump off a cliff...well why am I talking to you?

Anyway, if you're interested in doing the 100th Review respond to this email (or post) and sometime in April I will set things in motion to pick the movie and whatnot.

Oh and those of you who are curious:
6 shorts
2 Date My Mom's
17 "Special Reviews"
bringing the grand total to 122 reviews TOTAL on the site. I sure have been busy this past year and a half.

Thanks,
Jason

New Review: Bela Lugosi Meets A Brooklyn Gorilla

Damn, it's been a whole month since I last wrote a review? How'd that happen? I planned on taking at least 2 weeks off but a whole month? Jeez, no wonder everyone thinks I'm dead!
Anyway, here Bela Lugosi meets...well you know
Bela Lugosi Meets A Brooklyn Gorilla

Enjoy! And I want my stuff back!
-Jason

Retarded Canadians Discuss Black Snake Moan

It's offical! Canadians are retarded!
http://littlegirltoast.livejournal.com/200961.html

So this guy is like "Oh Black Snake Moan is about a black dude brutalizing a white chick" or something and makes it sound like women should be offended by it. So ok. I asked some women that I know and out of all of them, none of them was offended. You know why?

IT'S A FUCKIN' FICTIONAL MOVIE!!!! UGH! And I don't think this dude and the idiots who agreed with him know that it's really about. For those of you who don't know if you should side with me (the way smarter movie buff) or the pretentious a-holes from Canadians this is what it's about seriously.

Sam Jackson is a old lonely black dude who finds a beat up passed out Christine Ricci on his front lawn. Realizing that if he doesn't do something to help her, she's gonna kill herself so he chains her to his radiator and helps her. How we don't know we need to SEE THE FUCKIN MOVIE. So yeah while the whole chaining thing sounds weird...it's a movie.

I hate people sometimes.

Here's the trailer:

The Razzie Winners

I was gone yesterday when they were announced but here I am! So here are the "winners", along with my picks in bold if they are different:

Worst Picture
Basic Instinct 2-Woo! I was right!


Worst Actor
Larry, The Cable Guy (Dan Whitney) - Larry The Cable Guy: Health Inspector
Marlon Wayans & Shawn Wayans - Little Man-Winner. Seriously? The Wayan Brothers made more movies than Larry, I don't get this at all.

Worst Actress
Hilary Duff & Haylie Duff - Material Girls
Sharon Stone - Basic Instinct 2-Winner. Same thing as above, but again: whatever.


Worst Supporting Actor
Danny DeVito - Deck The Halls
M. Night Shyamalan - Lady In The Water-Winner. I guess.

Worst Supporting Actress
Carmen Electra - Date Movie and Scary Movie 4-Winner.
Michelle Rodriguez - Bloodrayne


Worst Screen Couple
Shawn Wayans & EITHER Kerry Washington OR Marlon Wayans - Little Man-Winner. 2 for 5

Worst Remake or Rip-Off
Little Man (Rip-off of the 1954 Bugs Bunny cartoon "Baby Buggy Bunny")-Winner
Poseidon
Hold up. I disagree. I doubt anybody remembers the Bugs Bunny cartoon or even thought it was a rip off. This Posedion movie DID NOT NEED TO ME MADE!! Ugh.

Worst Prequel or Sequel
Basic Instinct 2-Winnner. They're totally crapping all over this movie, huh?
Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning

Worst Director
Uwe Boll - Bloodrayne
M. Night Shyamalan - Lady In The Water-Winner. I guess these people didn't sit through two of Uwe's movies. Well, you'd think they would've.

Worst Screenplay
Basic Instinct 2 - Screenplay by Leora Barish & Henry Bean, Based on Characters Created by Joe Eszterhas-Come on Razzies, pick one and stick with it, huh?
Little Man - Written by Keenan Ivory Wayans, Marlon Wayans, and Shawn Wayans

Worst Excuse for Family Entertainment (New Category!)
Deck The Halls
RV-Winner-I don't see anything wrong with this movie honestly.

Well, that's it. I only picked 2 winners out of 11 categories. I guess I don't know bad movies after all.
Nah.
-Jason