Friday, July 29, 2011

Behind The Scenes at Invasion of the B-Movies!

To celebrate the 6 year anniversary of Invasion of the B Movies, I made this Behind The Scenes video showing you the entire process I go through when I review a movie. It was a lot of fun making this video, and I cut a lot of boring stuff that I felt wasn't really important after all.

And stay tuned for more new stuff to pop up on The Site!

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

I'm Excited!

If you're tired of hearing me talk about "Paranormal Activity" well too bad cause I'm gonna talk about it!

I remember when the first movie was released. It was 2009. September of that year, we went on Vacation to L.A and while somewhere (I forget) we saw these passes for a "Special Screening of a new horror film" and they needed an audience to view it. Unfortunately, it was the night before we were due to fly out at 6AM or something so we couldn't go.

Turns out this viewing was used in the official trailer for "Paranormal Activity". Damn.

Last year, "Paranormal Activity 2" came out and we were there opening night. Everyone knows by now the horrible story of us watching the first film in theater. This time, the experience wasn't as bad because everybody was interested in what was happening on screen. Even though I saw a lot of mistakes in the film, which I won't point out cause I'm not that much of a nitpicker.

Now here we are, 2011 and we got the third film in the series. I knew based on the ending of Part 2 there was going to be a part 3 but I wasn't sure what was going to happen. Well, if you haven't already, here's the trailer. Watch it and there'll be a test on it.

So based off the trailer, we know it's a prequel, which (SPOILER ALERT!) is funny cause Part 2 was more or less a prequel. So a prequel to a prequel. Interesting. I like how they focus on what happened to them when they were kids. And it was 1988, when home video cameras were new, costed $3000, and weighed 90 pounds. So this should be interesting.

I will be there opening weekend (night if I can manage it) and hope there isn't any douchebags around to ruin it. You know, two years ago, I wouldn't have ever figured out that this would be a popular series, considering how much people seemed to hate the first film. Me? I was pretty creeped out by the whole thing. Plus the chick that played Katie was hot. So yeah...

Anyway, my last question is where do you think it'll go for here? I mean, we could get like 1960's Zappurder-like video but since those cameras had no sound, I wouldn't know how that'd work. Maybe old drawings of this demon in a book? I dunno. I guess we'll see.

For now, I'm curious about something. What happens if I hold up a mirror to the above trailer during the "Bloody Mary" part? Hm...let's find out!

Ok, nothing yet. Nothing yet. Noth

Sunday, July 24, 2011

The Soto List: TOO SOON! Edition

Apparently, there are all sorts of things that, right after they happen, isn't really nice to make fun of. An example I can think of is just yesterday, when it was revealed that Amy Winehouse died, I saw at least two jokes about "going to Rehab" or "I guess her house shouldn't have had wine" or whatever. But what about movies taking these tragedies and maybe being slightly dissrespectful? Here are some examples:

30 Minutes or Less

The Movie: From what I got from the trailer, it's about a guy (Jesse Eisenberg) who's a pizza delievery guy and he ends up going to a house, kidnapped by some guys (Danny McBride and Nick Swordson) and they tell him he has to rob a bank or else they'll blow him up. Hilarity ensues.

The True Story: This really happened, except it wasn't funny. A real pizza delievery guy was kidnapped, then some hours later showed up at a bank, attempted to rob it, but was arrested by cops. When they discovered the bomb, they tried to get it off except...they didn't in time. Yeah...

Ok, I still plan on seeing the movie but when I first saw the trailer I said to myself "Really?" I'm still waiting for any pending lawsuits to appear.


The Movie: A super detailed look into the lives of a bunch of students at a school, which becomes the scene of a school shooting. I want to like this movie for a few things it had the balls to include, but I also find myself super bored with it.

The True Story: Columbine. I probably don't need to say anything more. I dunno if the real Columbine shooters had sex with each other prior to the shootings, which is just kind of an odd thing to include.

Remember Me

The Movie: I...don't know. Robert Pattinson is in it. So is Claire from "Lost". There's a scene where they shower together. But why am I mentioning it?

The True Story: 9/11. Now, there are PLENTY of 9/11 related films, like Uwe Boll's "Postal". But I feel "Postal" was done on purpose to piss people off. This is really, really fucking retarded.

Ok so for real, I guess Edward there is in love with Claire and either they break up or thinking about breaking up. He's at work, thinking about shit. The day he's at work? September 11th, 2001. And he works in one of the Twin Towers. Oops. I mean, who would've guessed THAT would've happened in a movie like that! That's like watching "The Notebook" and finding out the ending takes place during Hurricane Katrina or something. It's just so out of place.

Paul McCartney Really Is Dead: The Last Testament of George Harrison

The Movie: Ok, you ready for this shit? Paul McCartney has been dead FOR YEARS! The Paul McCartney we all know and love is a IMPERSONATOR! Set up by the British government! And the other Beatles went along with this! And John Lennon wanted to tell the world but couldn't, so he put in ALL SORTS of clues on every Beatles album. Whoa!

The True Story: George Harrison's death. Released sometime after his death, this doctumentary has the nerve to say that right before George Harrison died, he recorded a last will and testement stating that he's been carrying a secret for years and now he's gonna reveal the secret. The film plays the "real" recordings with the "real" George Harrison telling us how it was done.

Ok, this movie is so full of shit that as I was watching it, flies began covering my TV. The guy doing the voice of George Harrison was not believable, and all the stuff mentioned in this film is so fucking retarded I have to think this was all a joke. You want an example?

Ok so, Paul died in a car accident sometime in the '60's. He was giving a ride to some girl when he died. The girl survived, but was sequestered by the British government and forced into hiding. She lost a leg in the accident. YEARS later, the girl wanted to reconnect with the guy who is now "playing" Paul. Her name? Heather Mills. I am not fucking with you, they mention that in this movie. I'm not the biggest die hard Beatles fan in the world, but I felt insulted by this movie.

Ok, I can't think of anything that'll top that, so I'll stop there for now. I'm sure there are more, and there's going to be more (how about Godzilla caused the Tsumani and Earthquake in Japan??). Some people, huh?

Thursday, July 21, 2011

The Lair of the Unwanted #19: America Kicks Ass 2: Ass-Kicker!

Jason and Nolahn take on two more American (sort of) kicking ass movies! The Jean-Claude Van Damme/Dennis Rodman pairing of "Double Team", then the gymnast enthused film "Gymkata"!

Before that though, Jason talks about winning a LAMMY award three years in a row, Nolahn talks about his B-Movie Bonanaza, and then they Come Clean by revealing who they would pick to represent America in a Commie-Ass Kicking fight! Jason's answers are a bit...controversal.

And this is the last chance to enter in the "Pick The Theme For October" contest. Send all entries, and any hate mail for Jason, to

Under Siege review
Under Siege 2 review

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

The Troll 2 Drinking Game

In a couple of weeks, at my house, I'm having a little get together with some friends and we're gonna watch "Troll 2". I said in the invite that we're gonna play a small variation of a Troll 2 Drinking Game, that I'm making up now. We're only gonna do a few cause I don't want everyone to be completely wasted and I only have so much room for people to sleep over. Before I get to it, my lawyer as advised me to include the following disclaimer:

Please drink at your own discretion. You do not have to drink alcohol to do this drinking game. Any beverage of your choice will work. Do not play this game with alcohol and drive home or do anything stupid. I do not want to be sued because I have no money. This is only for fun.

There, I think I'm covered. Next, if you are going to drink alcohol, what type should you drink? I asked my resident booze expert Adam and this is whathe said:
"The ones I can think of are Cream de menthe, apple schnapps, and green Chartreuse (as opposed to yellow). And there's absinthe, but that's expensive and you need an absinthe spoon and other stuff. Your best bet is to probably google Halloween drinks or St. Patrick Day drinks and see what's in your budget. There's always beer & green food coloring, but you'd have to use a light colored beer."

So there you go. Now that you got your beverage of choice, let's play The Troll 2 Drinking Game!

Take a drink whenever

-the main kid Joshua says "Grandpa", "Grandpa Seth" or any variation of Grandpa.
-someone mentions Nilbog.
-something that's happening on screen is confusing to you, and doesn't relate to anything that happened or will happen.
-something green appears.
-you see the troll/goblins in their real form.
-there's any gay overtones.
-it appears the actors are struggling with their lines.
-there's any mention of meat.
-Grandpa gets Josh in some sort of trouble.
and finally, finish whatever you're drinking if you understand ANYTHING that happening in this movie.

So there's the Troll 2 Drinking Game. Remember to play responsibly and have fun!

Friday, July 15, 2011

New Review: Under Siege 2: Dark Territory

This week, me and Nolahn take a look at the sequel.

Under Siege 2: Dark Territory

You won't believe who's in this film!

Thursday, July 14, 2011

What's A Soto To Do?!?

As I'm sure everybody heard by now, Netflix is changing their subscription packages. Last month, I changed mine to one DVD and unlimited streaming, which was probably a mistake cause now I'm a week behind on the Lair, but that's my own damn fault. But now with their new package, if I keep the one DVD and unlmited streaming, I'll have to pay 16 bucks a month...oh and in case you didn't know Netflix charges TAX so it's more like 17 bucks.

That sucks.

So I'll probably just keep the $9.99 route and go with one or the other. Here's the thing: 90% of the movies reviewed on The Site I get from Netflix. And since I can't get screen grabs from the Netflix Instant Watch...something has to give.

Sure, I could just give up the streaming and get 1 DVD...but we just spent a small amount of money to set up the living room TV to watch the streaming on Netflix. I hate to just give that up so quickly. I'm not 100% sure what I'm gonna do yet but I'm leaning towards stop doing reviews on The Site, only do them on The Blog and keep The Site around to house The Lair, the older reviews, and maybe once in awhile do a "Date My Mom" or whatever.

I know there are other things I could do, like buy the movies I intend to review, go to Redbox, or go to a still open video store. Here's my cons on those options:
1. Too expensive
2. Redbox fucking sucks.
3. The closest open video store is like 25 minutes from me.

Again, I dunno what I'm gonna do. I have until September to figure this shit out. In the meantime, I'll try to roll out as much as I can.

Speaking of, my new Horror Thursday is up. I reviewed "The Signal". Check it, yo!

Friday, July 08, 2011

Look At Me: Being All Influential!

I'm sure this will apply to somebody here.

From a press release:
[They] will be doing a live Q&A with Insidious director James Wan and writer Leigh Whannell on July 11th around 9pm PST / Midnight EST, which will be live-streamed directly to our Insidious Facebook Page.

Also, we are ONLY sharing this news via blogs and online media outlets: If you tune in to the Q&A on our Insidious Facebook Page and leave a comment on the Ustream tab using #InsidiousLIVE, then you will be instantly entered for a chance to win a free DVD copy of Insidious.

Additionally, as a respected influencer of the film community, we would love to ask if there were any questions that you or your readership specifically wanted to ask James and Leigh. We could fast-track them and make sure our moderator calls out your site during the Q&A. Please let me know if this would be of interest.

Ooh! i'm a respected influencer of the film community! Alright!! I guess it took me winning THREE awards to achieve that! But anyway, if anyone seen "Insidious" and has any questions for the guys who made it, leave them as a comment or email me at and I'll pass them along.

I haven't had the chance yet, but I do want to see it.

New Review: Under Siege

Maria and I, in a two week event, took on Steven Seagal at his best.

Under Siege

And Gary Busey at his least craziest. Seriously.