Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Et tu, Netflix?

I add the movies that I'm *sigh* gonna be watching in June to Netflix and bump them up my queue. Today I go back to see if my top few movies got sent out and I'm greeted with this:

Yes I have "Ernest Goes To Africa" on my queue. It's for a future review, ok??

Anyway, now Netflix thinks I'm a 11-12 year old, possibly a girl. This whole time I been adding on super cool movies like Lethal Weapon, Pee Wee's Big Adventure, and...Veronica Mars Season 1...I think she's hot, OK??

ANYWAY (again), now everytime I go to Netflix I'm greeted with that same exact banner. I get the feeling Netflix is never gonna let me live this down.

"But Jason," you're saying to yourself, "YOU chose to review those surely god awful movies. YOU'RE the one who's doing this to yourself. Don't blame poor harmless blameless Netflix. You easily could say 'fuck it all' and review nothing but Nightmare on Elm Street movies for the rest of the summer."

Well, person reading this blog and likes to talk to themselves, you are correct. NO ONE told me to do this. The thing is, I've come to realize that some of my best reviews are probably the ones that caused me the most suffering. For whatever reason, people seem to get a kick out of reading about a grown man going completely fucking insane while watching a movie and trying to put said movie into words. And at this point in time, the worst batch of movies that I could even THINK about reviewing are, the Horrible Four of June. So if people want it, then I'm gonna give it to them. Bring it on Zac Efronwhatever dancing like a gay retard! Bring. It. On.

(Note to self: next time include all the Bring It On movies.)

So you'll probably hear me bitch and moan about watching these movies, but keep in mind that I am self aware that I'm bringing this upon myself. It's just fun to bitch and moan about it.

While on the subject of Netflix, I saw this gem a few weeks back:

"If you LOOOOOVE Night of the Leapus, then you'll SIMPLY LOOOOOOVE Last of the Mochians AND The Godfather!" Cause all three simply go hand in hand. Remember that scene in The Godfather when Don Corleone ordered the hit on all the rabbits? And how when Bones McCoy showed up in Last of the Mochians? Those are such powerful moments in cinema, let me tell you.

Hell for all I know Bones McCoy WAS in Last of the Mochians. Anyone seen it and can verify?

PS: Some examples of movies that caused my brain to melt and everyone seemed to love the review include
Fear of Clowns (So much so the writer and director contacted me. Ahh good times.)
House of the Dead
Cabin Fever
Billy Jack
Las Vegas Blood Bath
Murder Set Pieces

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