Sunday, August 23, 2009

Bad Actor Spotlight: Eli Roth

I really rue the day Quentin Tarantino and Eli Roth became friends. Cause now every Tarantino movie is going to great to me, but I'll be annoyed by the presence of Eli Roth. I didn't care too much for Eli as a director until "Grindhouse" came around and he gave us "Thanksgiving" which was awesome. I hate "Cabin Fever" and both "Hostels", which is how Eli and Q.T became B.F.F's. But now Eli has a role in "Inglorious Basterds" and after seeing that movie today I gotta say this:

But...Eli Roth can't act. Sorry. In "Basterds" he's cast as "The Bear Jew", a big hulking guy who kills Nazi's with a baseball bat. That in it of itself is cool and I liked that portion of the character. Then he had to go and open his mouth. And I felt the urge to jump through the movie screen and slap the shit out of him.

I miss the days when Q.T was friends with Harvey Keitel, Michael Madsen, and Tim Roth cause they could act. I love every movie all four of them did together in any form. This includes "Sin City" which only had one small scene directed by Q.T and none of them was in that one scene.

Maybe I'm a bit harsh on Eli's directing capabilities but I'm sorry, he can not act. Anytime he talks, he sounds like he's whining his lines. I don't even know WHY he was cast as an actor for this movie. Or how for that matter. I'm guessing Eli had some rare print of a 1970's Hong Kong film that Q.T MUST have and this was the only way to get possession of it.

The first I was made aware of Eli's acting was in "Cabin Fever", where he gave himself the bit role of stoner camper Grim. I didn't know this when I first saw "Cabin Fever" but I always thought that guy was a bit off and out of place and now I know why. After giving himself another minor role in "Hostel" as Annoying American #1, he was then cast in the Q.T directed half of "Grindhouse" "Death Proof". I've only seen this once so I don't remember if he was given a name but he was one of the dudes at the bar at the beginning with the group of annoying chicks. Probably can't miss his eyebrows.

And now here he is. Killing Natzees with a baseball bat. I wish this would've went to Michael Madsen. Anyway, Mr. Tarantino, please don't cast Eli Roth in any more roles where he has to talk. If you MUST cast him, cast him as a mute. He is intimidating to look at but that all goes away when he talks. Kind of a shame he was the one that did the thing at the end of "Inglorious Basterd".



sharktech said...

I agree with everything you said.. he has a hammy feel to his acting style. And his opinions whilst judging on the lot where not only untrue but obnoxious and annoying.. I wont bother with anymore of his movies I thought the thanksgiving thing was funny but he really hasnt done anything decent apart from that.. Tarrantino has given him a lot of chances (lots of people have) and more often than not... he doesnt deliver the goods. So I am also confused as to how he got in this film basically I think he must be related to someone with a lot of money .

Anonymous said...

Thank you! Everyone keeps applauding him, but he is utterly terrible. Weakest link of the movie, hands down. Worst moment: when he smashes the Nazi with the baseball bat and then shouts about making a home run. His screaming was nothing less than nails on a chalkboard. I wanted to die. Thankfully, Christoph Waltz saved the day.

Anonymous said...

Eli Roth has resurrected the horror genre from the nonsense that is current horror flicks. there hasn't been ANY creativity with horror movies in years. I'd like to see you top him, in directing, writing and in acting, and until that day when you release a movie, you just sound like an asshole putting his 2 cents in, via text. true cyberwaste. I feel bad that you're so damn picky when it comes to film. its too bad i don't give a shit what it is, i really want to see your clever response.

Jason Soto said...

Last anon dude, whatever. I frankly don't care that you accused me of hating just to hate while you, sir or madam, left a hateful comment. Actually, I find it funny. So thank you for providing me some entertainment. I have a hunch you might be Eli Roth himself cause only he would be that upset but who knows.
Again, thanks for the good morning laugh.

Anonymous said...

Sir, and i wasn't blindly hating like yourself. I'm glad you find it funny, because i find it outrageous that you spend your time bitching about Eli Roth's acting, that you don't like, most likely because you're one of countless numbers of people today that are seeking perfection and nothing less. Oh, you're welcome Jason, likewise, and I'm looking forward, once again, for another clever and witty response.

Anonymous said...

Eli Roth is hot I would bang him. I really would.

Anonymous said...

Resurrected the horror genre? With torture porn. What's clever about that? He's awful, his films are awful. Inglorious basterd? More like spoilt basterd.

Anonymous said...

Eli Roth is awesome and hot at first when I saw inglourious basterds I thought the screaming part after he killed the Nazi with the baseball bat was bad but now that I have seen it a few times I love it also what makes Eli a spoiled bastard he seems like he's a really nice person from what I have read from interviews and when he talks about his fans. So I don't get what names him so spoiled so if you could explain that it would be wonderful

Anonymous said...

Eli Roth is the single worst actor on the face of the planet. I'm not even joking. He almost single handedly ruined Inglorious for me. Luckily Christoph Waltz, Brad Pitt and the rest of the crew can act.

Anonymous said...

coulda been worse. coulda been adam sandler.

Anonymous said...

cabin fever is a shit for you?
really,i think it s a great movie like hostel;
i see many horror film,and your judgement disturb me:
no,i m not eli rot,but because i love cabin 1 and hostel 1,i would like reply this;