"This is MY bullshit lecture!"

As I stated in yesterday's post, I went and saw "Rifftrax Live!" at a movie theater where the Rifftrax gang riffed on "Plan 9 From Outer Space". We arrived pretty early and for whatever reason, they were showing a Gloria Estefan concert. I didn't know if that was part of it or what. I mean, what does Gloria Estefan have to do with Rifftrax? Did they ask her to open up the show? And why?

Well after a few minutes Gloria left and soon came up some title cards from the Rifftrax gang making fun of those little game title cards movie theaters have that have information and games and stuff. They mainly did things like "Only In The Movies" where they talked about things like when you turn your lights off, you can still see everything in the room but it's only slightly blueish. And no matter where you are in Paris, you can see the Effiel Tower out the window.

Then there was weird "Did you know?" things like the name of Captain Picard's goldfish was Livingston and the full name of Jabba the Hutt which I don't care to remember right now. The funniest one was during "Movie Mistakes!" it simply say "Keanu Reeves was cast to star in 'The Day the Earth Stood Still'." That got a huge laugh from the crowd.

And speaking of, I was a bit surprised by the crowd turn out. I didn't know there were that many MST/Rifftrax fans in this city. I don't ever hear them say anything on all the MST message boards I go to. Oh well, I guess I can represent Indiana MSTies online.

Finally it started. First they riffed on a short called "Flying Stewardess" which was pretty funny. The film was some training film on how to be a stewardess in the 1950's, which includes making meals and tucking passengers in their beds for night flights. There were a lot of jokes made at Fort Worth's expense. Sorry Fort Worth!

"There's NOT a man on the wing of the plane!"
"She snores like a breeder hog."

Afterwards, they bought out this guy named Jonathan Coulton or whatever. I never heard of him but he's apparently popular among MSTies cause everyone, even in the theater I was at, was singing along to his songs. He did a song about zombies which was pretty neat. The first one about robots or something I didn't like but whatever.

There were also two fake sponsor ads, one for a flour and grain expo and the other about Berry Watch. It's hard to describe those but to give you some idea, they were made by the SomethingAwful.com guys. Speaking of, Lowtax from SomethingAwful was there for a few second to help give out a prize that I didn't win so I won't talk about that.

Finally the movie started and shit it was funny. I don't recall a time where I wasn't laughing. They used the colorized version, which was ok. I noticed they did a couple of things to the film itself like put in a picture of some couple over a bed and had one of the alien guys turn green after the "STUPID STUPID HUMANS!" line, which made the Rifftrax gang laugh, which says a lot about this movie cause you know they've seen this more than once.

"His mother named him Tor cause that's what he did to her vagina after giving birth."
"ONE! TWO! THREE! BELA LUGOSI'S! HA-HA-HA!"
My favorite had to be when the alien dude was walking and one of them said, to the alien chick "This is my impression of you. See? I'm you." I know it's not funny to read it but trust me, it was hilarious.

The movie ended and I came home and downloaded my free goodies, which included the picture used up above, the Flying Stewardess short riffed, and an original song by the Rifftones. Overall it was a fun night and I hope they do it again soon, with another movie. I dunno what movie but I don't care as long as they do it again.

It's a bit vain of me to even think anyone at Rifftrax reads this stupid blog but just in case, I'd like to thank them for a great night and tell them how awesome they were.
-Jason