Monday, August 10, 2009

Double Feature #3: The Jungle Book/Bloodsport

In what is probably gonna be the strangest combination of movies during this project, I took on the classic animated film "The Jungle Book" and the Van Damme opus "Bloodsport".

It seems like the movie that I call "tails" for always gets chosen first. I should try to fix it next time so the movie I wanna watch first gets "tails" and see how that goes. Anyway. I fuckin' love "The Jungle Book". I watched it every day when I was a kid and I had this Disney Songs on cassette tape thing and I use to listen the shit out of that, so I have most of the songs from that movie memorized. My fiance gave me weird looks when she came home and I was in our living room going "SOMEONE LIKE YOU!!!!! I WANNA WALK LIKE YOU!!! TALK LIKE YOU!!! TOO!!!!" In a related story, I need a place to live. Anyone need a roommate?

Then there's "Bloodsport" a name that just oozes testosterone. Just merely watching it made my dick grow 2 inches....from the ground. YEAHH!!!! I been wanting to see it for awhile now (the movie, not my dick) and when someone listed it when I sent out the email to all the mass invaders to list movies, I had to go and run with it. Let's see how it stacks up against "The Jungle Book".

1. Any Similarities?
You could easily say that both movies feature characters doing the things they do cause they're wild animals and this is the only solution to their said problems. But its much deeper than that. In "Jungle Book", Bagheera the Panther wants to take Mowgli back to the "man villiage" to protect him from Shere Khan (KHAAAAAAN!). Despite him giving up a few thousand times, he ultimately gets this task done. You could boo Shere Khan for attacking a innocent young boy but he was only doing what he felt was right and hey, he's a tiger for christ's sake, it's not like he's smart or anything.
Then there's "Bloodsport". You could easily say that these guys are just looking for an excuse to beat the shit out of each other in a country where nothing is illegal but it goes deeper then that. These guys are here to protect the honor of their respective families. And much like Van Damme's character Frank, he's there for the honor of his friend and former master, who is dying of "Mysterious Movie Disease". Surely winning this ass kicking contest will make him better. So in both films, there's a deep layer of honor and doing what you feel is right.
And I feel Baloo and Ray Jackson are possibly similar.

2. Any differences?
One movie is possibly ok to put on if you're babysitting some kids and need them to shut the hell up for an hour. The other, if you do put it on, you will be fired and possily sent to jail for some reason. And one movie has catchier songs.

3. Any compatibility?
The characters in "Bloodsport", while fighting for said honor, have to muster up all their animalistic insticts to survive inside the "runway" as it's called for some weird reason. It's either kill or be killed, which is the rule of the jungle. So deep down inside, these movies are compatible. You just have to look through some blood and guts to see it.

4. Would it have been different in reverse order?
Yes. After watching "Bloodsport" last, I wanted to rip open my freezer and take a bit into some raw steak. If I watched "Jungle Book" last, I would be doing the same thing, but singing some catchy songs in the process.

Overall, this is probably the most interesting grouping of films and I recommend it. You can do this at home if you have a family. Put on Jungle Book first and let the kids fall asleep, then put on Bloodsport and, ladies watch out, cause the dude of the house is gonna have a 14 inch boner and is willing to eat out anything.
And I do mean anything.


Alex said...

Hey just wanted to say I'm really enjoying the "double feature" series! Great stuff!

elgringo said...

"it made my dick grow 2 inches....from the ground. YEAHH!!!!"

Haha, I forgot how much I love reading your blog, Jason. Anyway, I'm back to blogging and your blog was one of the first I revisited. This is a great feature.

One thing I wanted to touch on though is that there was no mention to Bloodsport's catchy songs.

Ku-mi-te! Ku-mi-te! Ku-mi-te!

What kid isn't going to love that one?