Tuesday, June 28, 2011

The Lift

Well, if you don't like elevators anyway, I wouldn't watch this movie. Me? Eh, I know how to survive if one starts crashing. You just fall to the floor and cry like a bitch until you die. What? That's not how you do it?

Four very annoying people get into an elevator and when it stops between floors, they nearly sufficate. Thinking something is wrong with this thing, the company send for Felix. He says there is nothing wrong with it and figures the annoying people were just too drunk.

Then more people die, including a blind dude who should've actually used his walking stick and a night watchman. When these things happen, Felix really thinks something is up. So he starts investigating...and we see every boring minute of it.

He teams up with a reporter who wants a little of the action and causes Felix's marriage to go ka-put! Mickey finds a professor who knows what's going on: apparently Mr. Chrome put in some computer chip into the elevator to make it more human...for some very strange reason. Well, the chip malfunctioned and is now killing anyone who gets on the damn thing. So it's up to Felix and Mickey to stop it! Well...no. Mr. Chrome comes out of nowhere and shoots the damn thing.

Yes, he shoots an elevator. Then the elevator, in one final act, hangs him. Mickey and Felix take the stairs all the way down to the ending credits.

Ok, this movie was 95 minutes long and I summed up this entire movie in 5 paragraphs. This goes to show you how friggin boring it was. It's an amusing idea but there's only so much you can do with a killer elevator. Oh and one final flaw in this movie: the dubbing was just horrible. It was so annoying I just wanted to pull the speakers out of my TV.


No comments: