This is what I call the catching up edition, since I'll be covering some things that happened, Jesus, almost two months ago already? Ugh. Where does all the time go? Oh, right AT&T stole it from me. Jerks.
Anyway...
1. Number 1 Rat-America, America, America...I'm so dissapointed in you. YOU made "Beverly Hills Chihuauha or However It's Spelled" the NUMBER ONE FUCKING MOVIE?? Are you insane?? Isn't Dark Knight still playing? I mean what the fuck? Ok so maybe there wasn't a WHOLE lot to choose from but still! Anything is better than that. You know what this means now? We're gonna get 10 more movies about talking animals singing about their heritage or some crap. Jeez, just shoot me now.
2. Bill & Jason's Excellent Movie Watching Day-Back in August (That seems so long ago now), as a going away present, my friend Bill hosted at his house a movie watching marathon, where we rented a shitload of movies that we've wanted to see, or wanted to show the other. So that fateful morning we hit two video stores and we rented and watched the following (Let's hope my memory is in tact):
Clerks 2-I actually own this but Bill hasn't seen it before. Of course it's the greatest movie ever (ok maybe that's a stretch but it's damn good) so he loved it.
D-Wars-I really don't remember this coming out in theaters but I think I know why. Jesus this movie is awful. It's about some dragons from old school Japan coming back, one good and one evil, and each dragon has a dragon master dude or something and there's something about a kid and a newspaper reporter and a cop. It totally sucked and I nearly threw it in the shredder but Bill reminded me he paid for the rental so I showed some restraint.
The Mist-Oh my God this movie was good. But...the ending. Oh god...the ending. Should I spoil? Eh I must get it out.
SPOILER FOR THE MIST!! SPOILER FOR THE MIST!! SPOILER FOR THE MIST!!
Jesus Christ could that be any more depressing? I mean Tom Jane shoots his own son, then five minutes later here comes the military to the rescue! I'm like Jesus that's horrible! Makes you wonder if he got put on trial or something. God that was horrible.
END SPOILER!
Still a good movie.
The Fog-Yeah, we got cutsey. Fog, Mist, haha. Anyway, I liked this movie but Bill didn't for some odd reason. I blame the monitor cause it had this weird darkness to it and it wouldn't get any brighter. And if you seen The Fog, the original in case you were wondering, you know it's kind of a dark movie, lighting wise. So I think he should give it a chance on a normal TV.
Snakes on a Plane-I wanted Bill to watch this classic masterpiece. He...didn't seem thrilled. Hm. I need a new best friend. Wake up bitch, you're my new best friend!
Postal-I don't know what to say about this. I'll save this movie for it's own post.
Mulhulland Drive-Bill never seen it. Bill saw it. Bill will never be the same again.
Feast-Since I seen this already, I decided to get some sleep in. Unfortuately so did Bill, so he missed it. He NEEDS to see this!
The Transporter-Awesome as always.
Inside-This is that French movie about the pregnant lady who's attacked one night by a crazy lady and fucked up shit happens. I recommend it totally.
Lost Boys 2-At this point it was the next day and Bill had to go to work, so we only watched the first hour of it. I don't know what I thought of it, it had it's up's and down's. One down is Corey Feldman's voice. Picture Christan Bale's Batman voice but tone it down half a notch.
So that was that night. I think we watched more but I'll be damned if I can remember them. Plus this number is getting a bit big anyway so let's move on.
3. Bill O'Reilly Made A Movie??-When I saw the ad's for "An American Carol" I thought I was making shit up. I mean it's a spoof type movie with a Michael Moore type guy in it? And Bill O'Reilly makes an apperance? Well, I found out since then that this movie is nothing more than Republican propoganda, which sucks cause they sucked in the director of "Airplane" and "The Naked Gun" who is awesome in my book. By the way, them idiots that make the "Blank Movies" should watch the Naked Gun series and see how a real spoof movie is done, dammit! Here's a quickie. Did you know that "Kingpin", the Woody Harrelson bowling movie, is more or less a parody/spoof of "The Natural"? Think about it.
4. Read After Burning-A couple of weeks ago I saw "Burn After Reading" and, honestly, I was a bit let down. It wasn't as funny as I thought it'd be. I did like Brad Pitt's turn as the stupid guy. But all the criss-crossing of characters made my head spin and it seemed like they made George Clooney crazy for no real reason, like he just had to be crazy for this situation. It was shocking when the one character killed the other character, oh and when the other character killed that other character. And why was the entire ending just told to us through dialouge? Couldn't they have showed us or did paragraphs or something? It was kinda weird. That's two weird endings the Cohen Brothers gave us.
5. Delete From Playlist-And this past weekend I saw "Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist", and I saw it with a shitload of teenagers, which maybe is what ruined the movie for me. Cause every 5 fuckin minutes I heard a bunch of teenage girls go "AWW" to EVERYTHING! It's like when I saw "Juno" and they went "EWWW" everything! What is it with Michael Cera movies that invoke that? And why can't he stick to "Superbad" type of movies? He was awesome in "Superbad"! Ok I guess I should explain my problem with "Nick and Norah". First off, it wasn't as funny as I thought it'd be. Normally movies that take place during an entire night, they go through funny crazy things. The only crazy thing I can think that happened was Nick meeting a homeless Andy Samburg. The rest was just Nick whining about his ex and his friends whining about his ex and how neat it is that everyone but Nick is gay and how Norah has a nice rack and is obviously the right choice for him but it takes them the ENTIRE movie to figure this out. Then there's the drunk girl. And the gum. Oh god that was awful, I refuse to think about that. Anyway, I guess I'm too damn old for this movie cause I hated it. BAH!! STUPID KIDS!! GET OFF MY LAWN!!!!
That'll do 'er. Sorry it's been forever since I did one of these. Hopefully I'll now get back on track.
-Jason
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