Saturday, June 23, 2012


Apparently at some point in the future, there's going to be a remake of this film "Maniac" and it's gonna star Elijah Wood as The Maniac! Ok, the killer's name wasn't The Maniac...wait maybe it was! There were tons of newspaper reports about the killer killing people and it just said "Maniac strikes again!" Maybe the cops and/or press just called him "Maniac". Jeez, way to be original, fake cops and press I just made up in that last sentence!


Film starts off with a couple sleeping on a beach because they're homeless? They think it'd be fun to be cold on the beach? It makes even less sense when you find out it's December, so I really don't get what they were doing. Anyway, The Maniac creeps up on them, stabs the shit out of the girl, and then cuts the guys head off with piano wire.

Then The Maniac wakes up. Was this a dream? No, more like a dream-memory. He wakes up in his small New York City apartment and it's like Serial Killer 101 designed the place. There's creepy mannequins, weird dolls, and just strange things nailed to the walls. The Maniac, or as he likes to call himself "Frank", gets up, gets dressed, and heads out for the night.

He passes a prostitute and decides to buy her services for the night. Here's something strange I didn't know about buying hookers: you also have to pay for the hotel room. You'd think AT LEAST the room would be free, since you're paying for everything else. But nope, room AND pussy. And this movie was 1979/1980 so I can only imagine what that'd be like today.

They get into the room and the girl starts up with the sexy while Frank just lies there, looking like Ron Jeremy's unsuccessful brother, until they make out. Frank takes it a bit too far when he strangles the prostitute. I gotta say, I didn't buy him has a killer because it took FOR FUCKING EVER to strangle her. After five minutes, she died and he starts scalping her.

Yes, that's his M.O. He kills chicks then scalps them. Why? So he can put the scalps on the mannequins back at home of course. Frank likes to talk to the mannequins because his mother died and I guess he needed to fill in the void.

The next 45 minutes of the movie is Frank just stalking people and eventually killing them. He stalks a couple getting out of a club and the guy is played by Tom Savini. For all you Savini haters out there, he gets his head totally blown clean off with a shot gun. It's a pretty cool scene actually.

Another point he's just walking around in a park when he notices Caroline Munro taking pictures. For whatever reason, he snoops in her purse and finds her address. OH SNAP HE'S GONNA BREAK IN AND KILL A BITCH!

Or...pretend to be an artist and take her out on a date. Yeah, ok. It's kind of strange actually that he just pretends to be an artist, takes Caroline Munro out on a date, then shows up at a fashion shoot. He spies one model and decides to follow her home. After 20 minutes of her taking a bath and wondering when he was gonna show up, he comes out of nowhere and...ties up her to the bed and talks to her.

Dude, don;t change your M.O NOW!! You just hunt and kill chicks! You're The Maniac! People are scared of you, you crazy fuck! Well, after the talking, he kills the model. So now all that's left is to chase Caroline Munro!

It starts off normal enough, he picks her up and tells her they're going out to dinner, but first they must stop at his mother's grave to lay flowers. Awkward second date! What's next? "Oh here is where my dog Fluffy got run over 20 years ago. FLUFFY!!!!!!!" Anyway, Frank snaps and tries to kill Caroline Munro but you know what? She's MOTHERFUCKIN' Caroline Munro! She doesn't go out like those other bitches! She fights back! And then escapes!

Frank, all beaten and bloodied, goes back to his apartment and soon has a super freak out moment when the mannequins comes to life and kill the fuck out of Frank. Then my favorite part ever comes up. Two cops show up at Frank's house, bust in, see Frank's dead body on the bed, shrug their shoulders and simply leave, even closing the door behind them. Yep, nothing to see here. Oh well...

This was an interesting movie. And I kinda liked it. The guy who played Frank was weird looking, which made for a perfect Maniac. I think Elijah Wood is too pretty to pull this off but I guess we'll have to just wait and see, won't we?



Dave Enkosky said...

Joe Spinell was so perfect for this part. Of course, he's one of my favorite character actors, so I'm kind of biased. No way pretty boy Elijah Wood can pull it off.

Miskatonic said...

Joe Spinell picking up chicks just never set right with me. I mean... he's fuckin' creepy, and not in enigmatically alluring way. In a "Holy shit. I need to get the hell away from him right away" way. So it never really rang true that he was able to pick up chicks. It makes sense that Elijah Wood could pick up chicks. I like his casting because he is actually creepy looking. And if you don't believe me, just check out his turn in Sin City.