Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Guilty Pleasures Blog-A-Thon #2: Tenacious D In The Pick of Destiny

There is probably a very fine line between guilty pleasure and cult cinema. I believe "Pick of Destiny" straddles both lines, throwing caution and lord only knows what else to the wind. People who don't understand "The D" won't understand this movie, but people who do understand "The D" possibly wasn't too impressed with this movie. Maybe they were expecting more. More what I dunno but even in "The D" circles this movie isn't talked about too often.

The film is basically the fictional account of how Tenacious D formed. It starts in Kickapoo, Missouri where a young JB lives with his super religious family. All JB wants to do is rock out with his young cock out, but Dad (Meatloaf) won't allow him. So after getting some magical advice from Ronnie James Dio, he runs away to Hollywood.

We meet an adult JB (Jack Black) roaming Hollywood when he meets Kyle Gass (Kyle Gass), a long haired guitar maestro. KG takes JB in when he "saves" him from a gang that looks like the gang from "A Clockwork Orange".

In KG's "sweet" apartment, he teaches JB how to rock and learns the essentals like the power slide and cock pushups. Eventually, JB discovers that Kyle is living a lie and they're forced to move out of the apartment cause they can't pay rent. When Jack sees the guitar Kyle got him, he has a change of heart and they decide to pay the rent WITH THEIR ROCK!!

They come with the name when they join asses together to form the words TENACIOUS D. That night they play their first gig at an open mic and they do ok. They wanna perform at a contest coming up that week that has a cash prize. JB is determined to get that money and rock everyone's socks off!

But how? Kyle notices that all the legends (Eddie Van Halen, Pete Townsende and dude from AC/DC) all used the same guitar pick. They dig deep and find a dude (Ben Stiller) who knows a lot about the pick, the Pick of Destiny.

Short version: some dude called Satan to battle him, Satan was kicking dude's ass, a blacksmith saves dude by chipping Satan's tooth, cause Satan isn't complete, he's ordered back to hell, dude turns tooth into a guitar pick, years later all the guitar legends we know now used the pick to become super famous. The end.

So if The D can get this pick, they can rock out and win the contest! But the pick is in The Rock & Roll Hall, er, "History Museum". So now the movie switches gears and becomes a road/adventure movie.

They stop in a diner where Kyle meets some hot chicks. The chicks wanna take them to their sorority and have them play but Jack only wants the pick. Jack meets a weird gimpy dude who I think is Tim Robbins, or at least Tim Robbin's Uncle or something, that tells Jack how to get into the museum. Since Kyle is only thinking with his cock, the band breaks up.

Jack ends up in a forest and starts eating mushrooms, where he instantly has a psychedelic trip and thinks he's hanging out with a sasquatch. Kyle meanwhile realizes he needs Jack to perform songs since the only lyrics he knows are the back up vocals. He's boo'd out of the sorority and realizes he needs Jack.

Jack snaps out of his trip and manages to break in the museum. Kyle is there and they reconsile and decide to get this pick once and for all! IN THE NAME OF ROCK!!

They find the pick but there's these lasers that'll cut your limbs off, so Jack uses his sweet robot moves to maneuver around them. He finds the button that turns them off but he can't reach. But one thing can: His cock!

With the lasers turned off, they grab the pick, but they make such a racket they're discovered. The only way out: mega sweet power slide. This is possibly my favorite part of the movie.

Then for no reason, Kyle decides to have a car chase with some cops, totally wrecking the car they borrowed from their only fan/roadie Lee. This is my other favorite part.

They make it back to the bar where the contest is held but while fighting over who gets the pick, they break it. After the Open Mic Host (Paul F. Tompkins, the guy who wears the suits on "Best Week Ever") talks them into playing without the pic, it's revealed that he's Satan in disguise and now he is complete. He wants to take over the world, so it's up to Tenacious D to stop Satan! And the only way to do that: have a sweet rock off!

And a sweet rock off it is. Eventually, Satan loses his horn and he's sent back to Hell cause he's not complete and The D wins. They turned the horn into a Bong of Destiny and are currently trying to write their masterpiece. Which I believe might be "Tribute".

To be honest, I wasn't too thrilled with this movie when I saw it in theaters, but some part of me couldn't resist it. It's totally a stoner movie and as I stated earlier, it's really not for everyone. And so that's why "Tenacious D In The Pick of Destiny" is my second Guilty Pleasure.

A Guilty Pleasure That I Reviewed:
Sleepaway Camp

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