Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Guilty Pleasures Blog-A-Thon #3: Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows

In August 2008 a movie blogger watched all of his guilty pleasures in a week and vanished. A year later, his blog was found.

"Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows" is just one of many many sequels that didn't really need to be made, but hell the first one did so well, let's just milk this thing to death. I was a bit appreshensive about the sequel cause it wasn't done in a fake documentary style like the first (well, not completely anyway) and it was just a straight up horror movie.

In Blair Witch 2, "The Blair Witch Project" was just indeed a film, but it inspired many wannabe filmmakers to trek over to Burkittsville, Maryland, sleep in the woods, and try to find some spooky shit happening. Among those filmmakers are people who give guided tours through all the sights found in Blair Witch.

One of these people is Jeff. We're not too clear on what his story is exactly. At some point in time he was in a mental institution for some reason not given. We're even show a scene of some doctor pouring what looks like tapioca pudding down his nose, while smoking. I couldn't make that up if I tried.

Now it's...sometime after the pudding in the nose and Jeff is leading a tour of Blair Witch fans. They all go to the woods and set up camp. They get drunk and high and talk about the Blair Witch, the movie and the actual witch, which need I remind you in this universe we're in, does not really exist.

So who's on this tour with Jeff? Glad you asked.

There's the goth chick Kim, the wiccan Erica, and a couple Stephen and Tristian. Tristian is pregnant but doesn't want the kid. I should also point out that Kim is psychic. All of these things will come into play at various points in the movie.

At one point a rival tour group shows up but Jeff gets rid of them. Suddenly it's the next morning and it's snowing paper. Stephen finds out it's research he's done for a book he's writing about mass hysteria. Jeff finds his camera equipment trashed. Tristian finds that she's having a miscarriage.

After treating Tristian at the hospital, they go to Jeff's place to look at the tapes that got saved. And here at Jeff's is where the rest of the movie takes place, more or less. I only mention it cause after awhile it gets mildly claustrophobic.

What happens at Jeff's is hard to put into words. Well I can use these words: fucked up shit happens. Owls fly through windows and end up dead. Everyone starts having weird hallucinations. They have odd markings on their bodies.

Kim goes out to get some beer and is treated less than hospitable. She ends up bagging her own beer and throwing money at the bitchy clerk and leaving. At Jeff's he's found some weird hidden shit on the tapes that can only be played backwards. Tristian starts acting weirder and weird and Erica vanishes.

When they play the tapes backwards they all see themselves doing weird and freaky ritualistic shit, like bowing to Tristian and practically having an orgy. Eventually they strip naked and run off into the woods with knives.

Nobody remembers that happening and figure out they're under the powers of the witch, who seemed to possess Tristian, which explains the miscarriage cause the witch don't like children (You gotta see the first film to figure out why). So they literally have a witch hunt against Tristian and she ends up hanging herself.

So the cops show up and arrest Kim, Stephen, and Jeff for the murders of Tristian, Erica, who showed up dead in Jeff's closet, and the rival tour group in the forest. Oh and the bitchy clerk at the beer store.

Now everything believes they're innocent cause they didn't murder anyone. But the cops put on all the taped footage and like Jeff said earlier in the movie "video don't lie".

We see Tristian begging for her life instead of acting bat shit insane while the group puts the rope around her neck. We also see Kim stabbing the shit out of the bitchy clerk. Everyone claims that what they're watching didn't happen at all! It was a possessed Tristian acting like the Blair Witch! She told them to kill! And she killed herself!! WHAT'S GOING ON???

The first 87 minutes really does suck, but the atmosphere is really creepy and I can't help but like this movie. Plus the ending is such a mindfuck, I just love it. A lot of people hate this movie and I guess I can understand why, what with the acting. (By the way, much like in the first movie, all the main characters are using their real names, so a guy named Jeff is playing Jeff, a guy named Stephen is playing Stephen and so on...) And no, I don't know what Book of Shadows means.

Oh before I wrap this up, there is a cool feature. You're suppose to watch the movie in reverse and while rewinding it you're suppose to look out for a secret message. I did this a long time ago on VHS but I forget what it was and I'll be damned if anyone else on the internet could figure it out.

So what's left to say? Blair Witch 2 is unwanted but still pretty freaky and the people behind the movie found a way to make people watch it in a unique fashion. And that's why "Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows" is my third guilty pleasure.

A Guilty Pleasure That I Reviewed Already:
Death Bed

Mass Invader Sean lists his ten guilty pleasures:
10. Beastmaster
9. Maximum Overdrive
8. Beavis and Butthead Do America
7. Mazes and Monsters
6. Troll 2
5. Demolition Man
4. Batman The Movie (1966)
3. The Hobbit (1977)
2. Willow
1. The Toxic Avenger

Fun Fact: Willow is my favorite drinking movie. It's just so magical!

And our first link! Good ol' Fletch wrote a lil' something which you can check out over at Blog Cabins.

That's it for now. See ya tomorrow for another pleasue I'm guilty of...or something.

1 comment:

elgringo said...

Oh man, Blair Witch 2? I could see the first Blair Witch being a guilty pleasure but the sequel? That's pretty rough, haha.