Sunday, October 26, 2008

LAMB MOTM: Revolver

After taking two months off from doing this feature, I'm back to tackle "Revolver" this month's LAMB Movie of the Month.

"Revolver" is a Guy Ritchie film so going in I thought I'd get a lot of cool characters, violent scenes, and neat plot story arc's. One out of three isn't back. Not that some of the characters were cool, but it was severely lacking. In "Snatch" you have Bullet Tooth and Brad Pitt's gibberish character and a bunch of others. Here, the only character I thought was neat was the balding hitman with glasses.

Jason Statham stars as Jake Green, a gambler who we first see getting out of prison. He's been in for seven years. What his crime was, it was never said. But he gets out. Then we're introduced to Ray Liotta's character Macha, some type of mob/casino owner guy. He hears about Jake and is then put on high alert.

Two years go by and suddenly Jake has a shitload of money and a small crew himself. Jake pays Macha a visit, who talks down to him. While taking the stairs down (Jake is claustrophobic and doesn't like elevators) he blacks out. While visiting a doctor, he finds out he has some kind of rare blood disease and he's gonna die in three days.

He then is paid a visit by Big Pussy and Andre 3000. They know about Jake's disease and promise to keep him alive if he gives them all his money and does what they say. He eventually gives in and he more or less acts like a butler/servant while they go around collecting money from people.

Around here the movie should've soared into normal Guy Ritchie territory but it takes a weird left turn. Macha is suddenly working for some guy named Mr. Gold. Jake, Pussy, and Andre steal Macha's safe, which has cocaine in it. The cocaine belongs to Gold, so Macha needs to replace it, so he makes a deal with some Chinese mob guy. Pussy and Andre hear about it and they steal both Macha's money and the Chinese coke, so now a war starts between them.

And for some strange ass reason, these scenes are suddenly animated. Don't get me wrong it's cool looking but it doesn't really fit in, kinda makes you think Guy Ritchie saw "Kill Bill" one too many times or something.

During all this, we learn Jake is a chess expert and he tells the story of when he was in prison. He chose solitary confinement and the only thing he did was read books about chess and apparently quantum physics. The two guys on both sides of Jake are also into chess and, apparently, quantum physics. They pass notes to each other via the books and Jake learned the other two are gonna break out soon. They do without so much as digging a way out or busting out a door or anything. Kinda like Bruce Willis did in "12 Monkeys".

Then the whole thing devolves into something about "where the enemy?" "The enemy isn't really there, or is he?" "You're the enemy but you're not." In other words it gets really fucking confusing. Jake spends the last 30 minutes of the movie yelling at himself and we're treated to layers and layers of voiceovers.

The cool character, the balding hitman with glasses, pops up now and then, working for Macha, and taking out anyone trying to kill Macha. At the end, he kills most of Macha's men cause they were gonna hurt Jake's neice, who's only a child. We don't really see what happens to him or her.

We're treated to a lovely scene with Ray Liotta in his underwear, while spitting out lines and crying. Jake figures out that Pussy and Andre were the two guys he was in prison with and somehow quantum physics and the ego played into not only their escape, but the entire movie. Jesus, did the "Donnie Darko" dude co-write this movie or something?

It's probably a good thing Guy Ritchie divorced Madonna, cause the entire him he was with her, he made shitty movies. So maybe now he'll get back on track. And yes I am in fact blaming her for this awful movie, even though she wasn't in it. I think her Kaballah whatever seeped into Guy's brain or something.

Oh and why the hell was Jason Statham wearing that awful wig the whole movie? He doesn't need hair! He's Jason FUCKIN' Statham! You don't give him hair! The hell were they thinking???

Here's the trailer:



-Jason

5 comments:

Fletch said...

I'd correct you on a few things I thought you described incorrectly, but I don't think I care enough to - and with a movie that's bouncing around so much and featuring so damn many voice-overs, I'm probably wrong on half of them anyway.

What a clusterfuck.

Jason Soto said...

I'm curious to hear what you thought I got wrong. I wrote the review like 2 minutes after watching the movie. But yeah it is a clusterfuck of a movie so who knows?

Fletch said...

Okay, you asked...

I never got the impression that Liotta was working for Mr. Gold. He was just doing a deal with him...but was intimidated by him.

I didn't think the kid was Jake's niece, cause I didn't think that dood was really Jake's brother, he was just his "brother." Right?

Oh, and I just thought it was weird that you mentioned the "Liotta in undies" scene, but not the even more disturbing "Liotta without undies" scene from his tanning room.

Any idea at all what city this was supposed to be taking place in? I'd guess London, but really only because Statham and his boys had accents...

Jason Soto said...

I've seen so many bad movies that thrust male nudity I'm jaded at this point.

It was mentioned towards the beginning that that dude was his brother.

No idea on the city. Only Statham, his brother, and the black chick working with Big Pussy and Andre 3000 spoke in british accents. Everyone else were American or something else, so I dunno. Then again, this movie had $12 dollar bills so this was probably some made up city or something.

No idea on the Liotta/Gold relationship. I figured the way Liotta was begging and whatnot he was working for him. Yet again, who knows?

Reel Whore said...

I blame Madonna for Ritchie's downfall too.