Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Movies I Like: Ginger Snaps

(Originally reviewed on 7/24/06)

At this point in my life, "Ginger Snaps" is my favorite werewolf movie made and starring Canadians. Unless someone comes out with "Why You Biting Me, Eh?", I doubt that's gonna change. And I knew I was in for a treat just by the opening shot.

A baby is playing in his sandbox and the mom checks out what he's doing. It turns out he's playing with the entrails of a dog. The mom freaks, grabs the baby, and runs out into the street screaming "THEY KILLED BAXTER!" That was the dog's name, not Ted Baxter from "Mary Tyler Moore". But that'd be funny to see. "LOU! A werewolf KILLED me! News at 11!"

Anyway, we then meet The Fitzgerald sisters, Bridgette and Ginger. Since Bridgette is called B and it's a lot easier to type then Bridgette, I'll call her that. Yes, I'm lazy, so sue me. Anyway, B and Ginger are obsessed with death, up to the point where they take pictures of them in various poses that makes it look like they died. They then show this collection of photos to school, where they are immedately accepted by the entire school population. Or so they thought was gonna happen.

In reality, they are laughed at and shunned and picked on. Of course, this movie is pure fantasy. Girls never get picked on and made fun of. NOOO! Dorky nerdy kids named Jason get picked on!! ALL THE TIME!!! HOW DO YOU LIKE IT GIRLS?!? HUH?? HUH?!?!?!

Ok, sorry. I took a pill. I'm fine. Anyway, B and Ginger decide to get even with one of the girls Trina. So that night they go out to do something mean to her dog, but they find it dead already (I think...this part did confuse me.) Then it's at THIS time that Ginger gets her period. Seriously, she just looks down and there's blood flowing out of "down there". Ginger and B freak out, then Ginger freaks out even more when she's attacked by a werewolf.

The werewolf runs into the street and gets runned over by Sam, the local drug dealer. Ginger and B run home and find Ginger is all scratched to hell, but she starts to slowly heal.

Now the movie takes a turn for the fun. Ginger is growing hair on her body (not in places you'd expect), and she is growing a tail. Then something weird happens: she becomes POPULAR! Seriously, she's like all HOT now! All of a sudden it's like "Jawbreaker" with a werewolf theme. Ginger hooks up with Jason...

Wait. There's a character named Jason and he isn't a loser, a douche, or a psycho? AND he hooks up with the hot chick? YES!!! MY DAY HAS COME!!!

Oh. Sorry. Again. Anyway, Ginger is totally dissing B, while B worries about Ginger turning into a werewolf. So she gets some help from Sam, the drug dealer.

Just to recap the plot: two Canadian sisters who are into death, one of them is bitten by a werewolf and gets her period all in the same day. She grows a tail, becomes hot, and disses her sister, who hooks up with a drug dealer to help the sister no longer be a werewolf. There ya go. I love this movie.

The movie gets crazier when Ginger forces Jason into having sex (WOO!), then she comes home and eats the neighbor's dog (seriously). B decides she needs to heal Ginger quickly.

The next day, Jason appears at school all beat up and when he goes to the bathroom, he starts pissing blood. OH GOD OW!! It turns out that cause Jason had unprotected sex with Ginger, he now is turning into a werewolf. Figures. Us Jason's can't get a fuckin' break.

So Sam tells B there is one way to cure Ginger: grind up some plant I can't spell or pronounce and inject it into Ginger. While B gets the plant, Trina stops by asking what happened to her dog (the one I'm assuming was dead at the beginning when Ginger was attacked). When Trina attacks B, Ginger goes into attack mode and pounces on her. B is begging Ginger to stop, so she lets go of Trina, who falls on the floor cause of some spilt milk and dies. Seriously. Slipped on milk. Fell. Dead. I don't know but trust me, it's funny when you see it.

Right at this moment, Mom and Dad come home, so they hide the body in their meat freezer and they use the blood on the floor as a "prop for another death photo". Mom tells them to clean up when they're done and goes to the freezer. Now it's an episode of "Three's Company" where B has to distract Mom so she don't look in the freezer to find Crissy making out with Mr. Furley's son or something.

Once Mom is out of the room, Ginger and B bury the body in the back yard. The next day, everyone finds that Trina is missing and Jason is in stage two of Werewolf herpes. B is really freaking out here and tries to find that plant to cure Ginger and now Jason. Luckily, Mom got it somehow, so she steals some and takes it to Sam, who cooks it up like heroin. Hey, he's a drug dealer, that's his power: to make antidotes through drug methods. If he was a superhero, he'd be Super Supplier or something.

So B decides to test this werewolf heroin on Jason to see if it works and it does indeed work. So B locks Ginger in the bathroom at home so Sam could make some more (Why didn't they just make some more there? Eh, this movie isn't that perfect I guess), but Ginger escapes and goes to school, where she's caught flashing her nice tits to some kids. She is sent to the principal's office.

B finds Ginger there and finds the principal quite dead. B freaks out and decides to clean up after this mess. So she gets the janitor's supplies and while she's doing that, the janitor comes to the principal's office where Ginger kills him immedately. B is finally fed up and tells Ginger to go fuck herself and leaves.

Meanwhile, Mom is working in the garden and she finds Trina's body. She goes into "my babies aren't killers, I'll protect them" mode and hunts down B. She says she's gonna kill their Dad, blow up the house with his and Trina's body in it, move away (to America I'm assuming), and start over with just them girls. B first has to get Ginger, who is at a party thrown by Sam. Ginger tries to seduce Sam, but he isn't down with beastiality, no matter how many titties she has, so she breaks his arm.

B comes up with a plan: she's gonna turn herself into a werewolf by cutting open her hand and mixing it with Ginger's blood. Then when they go home, B will inject them both with the heroin. Sam comes along to make the stuff but when they get there, Ginger has transformed into a full fledged werewolf!!

Sam quickly bakes up one needles worth of heroin before he gets killed by Ginger. Now B is on the hunt, she's after her. Lost in a cloud, I'm lost, then I'm found and she's HUNGRY LIKE THE WOOOOLF!!!! So there's a chase scene in the house, where WereGinger is chasing B, B drops the needle, B finds the needle, B fights off WereGinger until B accidently stabs her with a knife. This kills WereGinger and we get a depressing ending when B looks at all the death photos they took at the beginning and remember a much easier time when they were only pretending to kill each other. How sad. The movie ends setting us up for the sequel.

Phew! I love dark comedies about Canadian werewolves who are horny menstrating chicks. I'm looking forward to the sequel, but I'm willing to bet I'm gonna be disappointed. There's no way it can be better than this. But I will keep you updated.

2 comments:

Tablekorner said...

hmm pretty good review but it was off a bit you probably haven't seen the movie in a while b4 posting this thou

Anyway its the guidance counselor that finds her flashing some of the students and she goes to his offers. Ginger kills the janitor pretty slowly. B locks Ginger in the bathroom b4 she even made the antidote with Sam but B ran into Jason to to eat a kid and had to use it on him. Also Ginger was always hot she just dressed in like 20 layers of clothing and left her hair a frizzy mess.

Anyone I really enjoy the movie to its my favorite Werewolf movie and in my top ten Fav Movies.

Dave Becker said...

Just saw this a few weeks back for the first time, and loved it!