Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Reasons Not To Have Kids #12: Hard Candy

Yeah I went ahead and watched it. And I'm gonna count it. The girl in this movie is 14 and since that is considered a minor in a legal standpoint, I decided to make the age limit 16 or over as "teenager or older". And I'm not gonna talk too much about this movie because I didn't get any images while watching this and the plot is very simple. In fact I can sum it up in one paragraph.

Ellen Page is a 14-year-old girl who meets Patrick Wilson on the internet. She wants to meet him IRL and they do. He takes her back to his place and she ends up drugging him. The rest of the movie is Ellen Page torturing Patrick Wilson, who may or may not be a pedofile and a killer. Ellen Page also may or may not have cut off Patrick Wilson's nuts.

Now you're probably asking yourself, "how can you not be sure of something like that?" Because this movie's director, David Slade, is one of those artsy types who likes to move the camera around and in and out and stuff. So the ball removing scene is happening and she says it's happening and we see video of it happening (quickly) and she's clearly holding some round things in her hands later. But then when Patrick frees himself, he removes some metal clips and mumbles something that I couldn't hear no matter how loud I put my TV on and the whole ball thing is dropped (no pun intended). So...did she? I don't know.

Granted, Ellen Page is doing all of this cause she feels it's right. She's taking a stand against old guys who fuck minors and do horrible things, even kill them. So this isn't like, say, The Omen where the kid is Satan's son, or Cathy's Curse where a demon possesses a child. This is a kid doing something cause she feels it's the right thing to do. Even if it is twisted and horrible. And she did have to come up with the ball thing on her own. So yeah, I'm totally counting this in as a reason not to have kids, especially girls: because they are all fucked in the head.


PS: David Slade did a batch of artsy music videos. One of my favorite has to be this one:

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