Reasons Not To Have Kids #4: The Ring

This review is merely a formality because Maria is gonna review The Ring 2 this weekend and I figure I should post something about the original (American) first. I've first seen "The Ring" around 2004 and I did think it was a pretty good movie. Not really scary (well minus the stupid jump scares) but I didn't think it was anything special.

Most likely everyone knows what this movie is about so I won't waste anyone's time with a full review. You all know Naomi Watts is a hot chick who discovers a video tape where when you watch it, you gonna die in 7 days. Eventually she makes her ex watch the tape, and her son accidently watches it. So now Naomi must figure out the secret behind The Ring before it's too late!

And something to do with horses. There's a thing about horses.

They look like those potato people from Pink Floyd's The Wall.

I love that there's a copy of "Yor: Hunter of The Future" there.

And you also know it turns out the person beind the video tape is a little girl who was thrown down a well. No, not Baby Jessica but imagine if this movie did come out when there was Baby Jessica mania. Remember the Baby Jessica T-shirts? Oh and the Halloween costumes? Yep, it was everywhere.

So anyway, you know that Naomi Watts figures it all out, finds the dead girl's body and thinks it's all ok. But what you probably didn't know was this didn't matter cause the girl is EEEEEVILL!!! And she kills Baby Daddy anyway. And the only reason Naomi Watts didn't die is cause Naomi Watts is a VHS pirate. So lesson learned: be a video pirate and creepy dead children won't kill you.




-Jason