Saturday, November 28, 2009

Yahoo! News: Authority On Bad Movies

As I'm poking around Yahoo! news, my only news source for what's happening in the world, including famous people dying, I saw they ran a piece about "Top 10 Movie Flops of The Decade" (2000-2009). While you can read what THEY had to say by clicking that link, here's what I have to say, as the self-proclaimed "King of the B Movies". (Wonder who will challenge me to that?)

10. The Spirit
I have to admit I liked "The Spirit". I think it was filmed differently and it's got a lot of clevage. Granted, the dialouge was cheesy as hell (I'm gonna kill you all sorts of dead) but isn't this an adaptation of a graphic novel? Wasn't that line used in that novel? Why didn't anyone freak out about it when the novel came out? So I don't understand the PURE hatred of this movie.

9. Grindhouse
This makes me sad this is even on this list. This was probably the most awesome movie idea ever. Although I do know the problem: there aren't enough people in the world like me. If only everyone thought and acted like me...wait nevermind that'd be horrible.

8. Rollerball
Haven't seen it. Nor the original. Honest.

7. The Invasion
I said everything I had to say about the idea of this movie here.

6. Catwoman
I keep forgetting this movie exists. I been meaning to watch it, then something else distracts me and I forget about it. I swear I'll get to it soon.

5. Town & Country
Never heard of it.

4. Gigli
Review can be found here. God, I hate the review I wrote but I really do refuse to watch it again. Sorry, readers.

3. Land of the Lost
Really? I didn't think this did THAT badly. I kinda liked it, even though I didn't understand why Will Ferrell was mean to Choka or whatever. Danny McBride was hilarious though.

2. Battlefield Earth
Review (Mass Invasion actually, one of the times I as the organizer suffered) here but I gotta point out something that was said in the Yahoo! News piece. John Travolta said this movie was gonna be "like Star Wars, only better". See, you jinxed yourself. NOTHING can be better than the ORIGINAL Star Wars. NOTHING.

1. The Adventures of Pluto Nash
Yeah, I avoided this one like the plauge. But this did give me an idea to do a "Bad Eddie Murphy Blog-A-Thon" sometime later. I would ask other people to join in but I'm sure no one else wants to. But we'll see. I got a couple of things on my plate coming up that I wanna get started.

Now for some that I'm surprised didn't make it on the list:
Speaking of Eddie Murphy, you'd think movies like "Norbit" or "Meet Dave" might've done worse. Then I remember that "Norbit" was the #1 movie at some point and I almost cried.

I'm sure the god awful "I Know Who Killded Me" didn't earn ANY of it's money back. All thanks to Lindsey Lohan.

Pretty much any Uwe Boll movie would fit. Man, I could go on but nothing can top that.

Well, this decade is almost up. Kinda scary that in less than two months we'll be in THE FUTURE!!


Anonymous said...

I really enjoyed watching the Grindhouse double feature in the theaters even with its super long run time. The film needs to be released on Bluray in the same format that it was presented in the theater to recreate the experience. Also, I actually enjoyed watching the Rollerball remake!

Alex said...

God that's depressing that Grindhouse is on this list. It was probably my favorite movie-going experience ever, and Planet Terror became one of my most-viewed films. Who was the authority here?!

Nolahn said...

In all fairness to whoever put this article together, the focus definitely seems to be on box office returns rather than the quality of the film.

Otherwise, you could come up with a Top 10 Worst Movies of 2003 that's more horrific than the films on this list.

Dan Stephens said...

Grindhouse! Agreed, one of the best movies of that year, especially Rodriguez's Planet Terror.

The others, well, they couldn't go wrong really. Perhaps if they viewed the Grindhouse release as two films it wouldn't feature on this list.

Reel Whore said...

I've got to chime in as well for Grindhouse. Just watched them both recently and they are still awesome!

I couldn't get into Spirit at all. Only thing I did enjoy was the cleavage of Scarlett, Mendes, and every other chick.

I admit to seeing Pluto Nash in theaters. In fact I think, we were the only ones in that theater opening weekend. If Rosario is in it, I've got to see it. I just so wish she hadn't been in this. In fact, even she wishes she hadn't been it.