Monday, April 13, 2009

Day 10: House 2: The Second Story

This movie is only a sequel by name and the fact weird shit happens in a house. Everything that happened in the first film is never mentioned. Normally this would mean trouble but here it kinda works.

Jesse moves in to his own family home after finding out his parents gave him up 25 years ago. His parents, immedately after giving up their baby, is visited by some ghoul who shoots them dead. Jesse and his girlfriend Kate decide to move in and almost immedately his friend Charlie and his girlfriend Gem or 80's Madonna or some other name that I didn't catch.

After finding out his great-great grandfather was some bandit and/or archelogist and great-great granddad found some crystal skull (HA HA HA that one movie that came out last year don't seem so silly now, does it?) but he and his former partner Sam fought over it and they both died somehow. Jesse thinks the skull is buried with great-great granddad so he and Charlie decide to dig him up to find out.

After unearthing the coffin, they open it up to find Gramps (as he wants to be called) very much alive, just a bit...zombieish. Inside is also the crystal skull, which Gramps puts on some cradle on the fireplace. The next day we find out Bill Maher is the president of some record company and he wants to bang Kate very badly. While Jesse and Charlie were talking to Gramps, a Halloween party started up upstairs. All three join in on the fun until one of the rooms opens up and a 9-foot-tall caveman comes out and steals the skull.

While this is going on some old girlfriend of Jesse's hits on him, making Bill Maher tell Kate about this, who instead of asking her own boyfriend what the truth is, instantly believe Bill Maher and dump him. Gramps tells Jesse he has to go back to the room the caveman came from, which is now a large jungle, and get the skull back.

Jesse and Charlie do so, fighting off pterodactyls and the huge ass caveman. Jesse ends up bringing a baby pterodactyl back with him and hiding it in the kitchen. When Bill Maher wants to see, to only prove Jesse is either crazy or a cheating bastard, Gramps pulls an old switcheroo and brings the Ex-Girlfriend back. Kate really has had it and leaves Jesse for good.

The skull has returned and now we have a new visitor. Hey, it's Cliff from "Cheers"! Here, he's Bill, an electrican who sticks his nose into shit. Soon, some leftovers from "Temple of Doom" appear and steal the skull. (Hm, that's kinda interesting...) Bill finds a huge hole in the living room that leads to a leftover set from Temple of Doom and they find the skull along with a virgin about to be sacrificed. Bill kicks some ass, Jesse gets the skull and saves the girl and Bill reveals to not only be an electrican but an "adventurer".

During dinner, Gramp's old partner Sam shows up, claiming the skull and shooting Gramps. This time Jesse must fight Sam in a showdown to the death that takes place in several rooms in the house. The police show up for some weird reason and want to kill Jesse. Jesse manages to stop Sam and get the skull back, but it's too late for Gramps, who tells Jesse to let the skull take him wherever he wants to go then get rid of it.

So Jesse walks into a room that looks like the room in "Poltergeist", cause it's all lightly bright and I guess he, Charlie, and Virgin Chick went back to the wild west, where they bury Gramps with the skull and live happily ever after. I guess. And Kate is stuck with Bill Maher. Good luck with that.

"House 2" is more of a comedic approach instead of a scary version. Sure the first one had it's funny moments but there was more drama and scary crap going on. This one was more like a Halloween episode of a 80's sitcom. Like Cousin Larry is running from ghosts or something. But it was still good and watchable. I felt sorry for Jesse until I realized he started this whole thing by digging up Gramps. So screw him.


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