Saturday, February 20, 2010

Blaxploitation History Month: Black Samson

Just one of many blaxploitation films that felt the need to add the word "black" to it's title. The only difference is this movie isn't a "black" version of anything. At least from what I can tell. I originally saw this movie back at B-Fest 2008 and this is one super crazy movie. Well, parts of it is crazy.

The plot is your standard blaxploitation faire. There's a strong black dude who runs a neighborhood who wants it to be drug free. Some white mobsters want to take over the neighborhood and push their drugs on the residents. White mobsters threaten black dude the entire movie until black dude kicks some major white mobster ass. Show some titties, maybe some fucking, and you got yourself a movie.

But what makes this movie different is the following, which I'll present in my now Award Winning style, Dash Format! (TM)

-The character of Samson. He walk around wearing an African shirt, carring a huge staff (NOT the one in his pants), and for a pet he has a motherfucking lion named Voodoo.

-Not only does Samson own a neighborhood, he owns a bar with topless dancing. The lion chills in this bar.
-The white mobster guy, Johnny Nappa, is such a stereotype of white mob guys in blaxploitation films, I thought I was watching a spoof movie.

-To show how evil Johnny is, he has his girlfriend Tina go undercover in Samson's club as a topless dancer. When Tina realizes Samson isn't so bad, Johnny beats her.
-Whenever random mob guys come after Samson, he kicks their ass using his big giant wooden staff.
-Samson's girlfriend has the biggest Afro I've ever seen. Again, so big it almost feels like it's a spoof movie.

-The final 20 minutes of the movie is easily the craziest fucking thing I've seen in a movie. I'll go back to paragraph form to describe this ending.

Johnny, realizing the only way to make Samson give up the neighborhood is to hurt his bar and his woman, manages to do both in one night. Samson's woman, Leslie, goes to meet with Arthur, a coked up funeral director. Johnny's men sneaks into Arthur's funeral home and takes Leslie.

When Johnny beats Tina up some more, putting her in the hospital, Samson comes for a visit and Tina tells Samson where Leslie is. Samson springs his plan into action. He goes to this warehouse that Johnny is keeping Leslie and more or less acts like a one man wrecking crew, knocking walls down with his car and his fists! He finds Leslie and manages to escape. But Johnny and his crew are hot on his tail!

Samson drives through L.A (I been to L.A and sorta recognized some streets, like Venice Blvd...aww I wanna go back now.) until he gets to his neighborhood. When Johnny and his gang drive into the neighborhood, the residents block both exits, trapping the mobsters.

I should mention the "neighborhood" is really just one city block. So closing off this block doesn't seem to impressive. But what happens next is fucking insane. All the residents show up on the roofs of the buildings on this block...AND START THROWING FUCKING SHIT DOWN ON THE MOBSTERS!!

This goes on for at least five minutes, and when I say throwing fucking shit, I mean any random thing you can think of: mattress, fridges, air conditoners, papers, boards, fucking THEMSELVES! It's a MADHOUSE!! A MADHOUSE!!!!

After taking care of the unimportant people in Johnny's gang, Samson appears and now it's on. If I was Samson I'd sic the lion on him but that'd be the "pussy" way out. HA!! GET IT?? PUSSY? Lion? Get...nevermind.

So it's an epic fight between Samson and Johnny and at point Samson, this big black 7 foot dude starts WHIPPING Johnny WITH A CHAIN! THERE'S your reparations! Finally, Samson just stabs Johnny with the big wooden staff (again, not the one in his pants) and that's the end of that.

Holy shit, this movie is cliche as hell but makes up for it in it's awesomeness! If you wanted to start watching Blaxploitation movies, I'd recommend going with this one first. It pretty much sums up the genre. And it's probably worth it just for this shot alone:


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