Thursday, February 25, 2010

More Like Drag Me...To...Hell...Nevermind

I just finished watching Sam Raimi's return to horror that is called "Drag Me To Hell" and I have a lot of feeling about it that need to be let out. After much consideration, I looked up and realized I operate a movie blog. Albeit, a BAD movie blog, but a movie blog nonetheless.

So what am I saying, is "Drag Me to Hell" a bad movie? No. Do I think it's good? No.

That's what I'm conflicted about. Arrgh!

The first hour of the movie I was in love with. It was awesome. It was scary. It had me on the edge of my seat. My jaw dropped a few times. I was fucking impressed. I mean this is the first horror movie in like a billion years where the following DIDN'T happen:
(Some noise is heard. Main chick looks. A cat jumps out. Chick laughs.)
20 minutes of boring talk
(more noise is heard. Main chick looks again, this time with dude who doesn't believe her, it's a cute bunny in the garbage can. AWW!)
30 minutes of boring talk
(Everyone thinks girl is nuts and is either sent to a doctor, psychatrist, or a insane asylum. Whatever is stalking girl finally shows up but they think it's the girl, put her on meds.)
80 minutes of boring talk
(Finally, a 2 minute rapid edit showdown. Roll credits. Cue Cobra Starship)

This movie didn't do any of that shit. A fucking demon is chasing the chick around and by golly, a fucking demon shows up and does shit. Fuck yeah!

THEN! Came the "twist" ending. That I saw coming. At least 20 minutes before the movie ended. I was praying I was wrong. But no. I wasn't wrong. I was right. About everything. Just to get it off my chest I will reveal the twist ending so...


About 20 minutes in when chick gave Mac Guy that coin and put it in the envelope, I kept waiting to see how it'd fit into the story. After the great seance scene, the Indian dude (despite speaking Spanish) put the cursed button IN AN ENVELOPE. I said "Aw, she's gonna get the envelope mixed up with Mac Guy's envelope cause he's a dumbass who wouldn't take the coin out of his car and put it in with his precious collection. So in a way what happens next is his dumbass fault."

Sure enough, she THINKS she has the right envelope and DOESN'T OPEN the damn thing to check to make sure, another great scene in the cementary, and the movie gives us the trick ending. Of course, Mac Guy has the button and Chick is dragged to hell. End.


I want to love this fucking movie but I can't let that glaring flaw in writing go. Sam, dude, I know you fucked up "Spider-Man 3" badly. I mean BAAAAADLY but I'm willing to forgive you. But now this. This is your second strike. Don't let "Evil Dead 4" suck. Or else you're out.

1 comment:

Alex said...

I agree. I was totally on board with this movie but then when I could see that "twist" ending coming beforehand, it took away from the excitement and anxiety of the cemetery and train station scenes. Still a pretty cool film though.

I'm praying Evil Dead comes out all right. Maybe the "return to his roots" will help straighten Raimi out!