Monday, November 22, 2010

Reader's Choice Poll #4: December 24th Review

This winner surprise me, really. It was a dead heat for most of the week but at the last second someone voted for "Drive-In Massacre", making it this week's winner. I'm kinda glad, honestly. That should balance out the weirdness of the first two weeks.

Onto the next week, as you see by the date, it'll be Christmas Eve when this review goes up, so naturally a Christmas movie is in order. But which one? Here are your choices:

1. Christmas Evil (AKA You Better Watch Out)-
IMDB Says: "Widely recognized as the best of the Christmas horror efforts, Christmas Evil is the story of a boy who loves Christmas. He is scarred as a boy when he learns that Santa is not real. Throughout the rest of his life, the toy-maker tries to make the Christmas spirit a reality. He becomes obsessed with the behavior of children and the quality of the toys he makes. When he is met with hypocrisy and cynicism, the resulting snap causes him to go on a yuletide killing spree to complete this dark comedic horror."

2. Santa Claus Conquers The Martians-A MST3K classic!
IMDB Says: "Martians, upset that their children have become obsessed with TV shows from Earth which extoll the virtues of Santa Claus, start an expedition to Earth to kidnap the one and only Santa. While on Earth, they kidnap two lively children that lead the group of Martians to the North Pole and Santa. The Martians then take Santa and the two children back to Mars with them. Voldar, a particularly grumpy Martian, attempts to do away with the children and Santa before they get to Mars, but their leader Lomas stops him. When they arrive on Mars, Santa, with the help of the two Earth children and a rather simple-minded Martian lackey, overcomes the Martians by bringing fun, happiness and Christmas cheer to the children of Mars."

3. Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2-Oh FUCK YEAH!
IMDB Says: "The door of the mental hospital opens, releasing Ricky from its confines. He takes with him the terrifying memory of his brother Billy's death and the burning image of Mother Superior-the powerful figure that brought about his brother's violent demise. For Ricky, starting a new life means avenging his brother's death. By whatever means necessary, whether it be the cutting edge of a shiny steel knife blade, or the electrifying charge of a set of battery cables, Ricky is set in this blind journey of revenge leading ultimately to Mother Superior. As Mother Superior prays in the dark, we suggest she say an extra prayer for herself, because not even her faith will be enough to stop Ricky. But prayers will do little for in the silent part of this night!"

4. Don't Open Till Christmas-
IMDB Says: "A murderer is running loose through the streets of London, hunting down men dressed as Santa and killing them all in different, and extremely violent, fashions. Inspector Harris has decided to take on the unenviable task of tracking down the psychopath, but he's going to have his work cut out for him. Only the suspicious reporter, Giles, seems to offer the Inspector any promising leads."

5. Santa Claws-On the latest episode of "The Lair" I said the fifth title was Silent Night, Bloody Night. But as I was getting the description I found it doesn't really have anything to do with Christmas. So I took it off and replaced it with this one.
IMDB Says: "Raven Quinn is a scream queen with a couple of problems... her marriage is falling apart and her next door neighbor is not the nice guy he seems to be. You see, he is obsessed with Raven and wants to do anything to make her happy. This includes anyone he feels is exploiting her in even the slightest way. He gets nuttier and nuttier and eventually begins dressing up like Santa Claus and killing people with a claw."

There ya go! Five Christmas "classics"! Pick wisely! Lump of coal! Usual Christmas jokes here!

No comments: