Tuesday, April 06, 2010

English, Motherfucker, Do You Read It???

So in case you don't know by now, the "Sherlock Holmes" review I posted last week was indeed an April Fool's Joke. I really reviewed The Asylum's version of "Sherlock Holmes" which had less to do with Sherlock Holmes then you'd believe. For some reason, no one commented that I did this, which leads me to believe one of two things:
1. Nobody noticed
2. Nobody cared.

Any event, I will be making changes to the website soon to reflect the real review. But in the meantime, I do wanna talk about something. As I was doing some research, I was on Netflix and noticed in the section where you can leave user ratings and comments on the movies, that some people were actually fooled. I find that funny cause I went out of my way to make people think I was reviewing the Robert Downey, Jr version but all Asylum had to do was release a movie also called "Sherlock Holmes" and they fooled a bunch of morons. Like this:

(I kept all spelling errors and grammar issues. This is exactly how it's posted on Netflix)
We wanted the New 2010 Sherlock Holmes I snt it back then you resent waisted mt time now I have to ship it back and wait longer

WOW.....what a bad movie. What is worse, it took me 10 painful minutes to figure out this wasn't the Robert Downey Jr. version.... argggh.

Wow. This was bad. What makes it worse is that i picked the wrong sherlock holmes. Don't add this to you queue.

what a waste - thought it was the Robert Downey Jr movie. You should take it off the site. Simply the worst movie I have ever seen!

never made it to the movie! We turned it off after watching the previews. Thought this was the Sherlock Holmes DVD with the star being Robert Downey Jr.! Also made in 2009. Dirty Cheats!!!

This is not the movie I asked for. this was a British made movie which I hate. The American made one is not yet released. What goes here????

thought this was the new Sherlock Holmes with Robert Downey Jr. So I was disappointed when I a found out this was the wrong movie I still tried to watch it. After about 15 min my husband and I had to turn it off.

Wrong Sherlock Holmes movie. I requested the one starring Robert Downey Jr. This is not the movie I expected. It has the same title on the que.

I do not remember putting this in my list so when it arrived I was so excited to finally see "Sherlock Holmes." You know, with Robert Downey, Jr.? Yeah, as soon as the trailers started running I picked up the sleeve and discovered the deception. What a rotton trick to send crap like this! Be VERY careful not to choose this movie if you are looking for the "other one!"

A rip off! Thought I was ordering the new Broderick "Sherlock Holmes"?? This one also carries a 2009 release date. Totally misled on this.

Thought I was getting the Jude Law/Robert Downey Jr. movie- not the case. I gave it one star because I couldn't give it zero. Terrible movie.


So here's how you avoid all of this next time...JUST READ YOU DUMBASSES!! Here is a screenshot of the Netflix page for this movie. See if you notice anything:

(Click to enlarge...that's what she said)
A certain "Downey, Jr" or "Law" is missing. If you paid any attention, you would've noticed that.

Just on a lark, I looked up other "rip offs" from The Asylum. Other movies that have a similar title but aren't exactly a same. Here's someone griping about "Paranormal Entity":
i got duped by Netfli x - this is not the real Paranormal movie it's a "mockbuster" I waited for this one for a long time too because I think people put it in their queue thinking it was Paranormal Activity. I would have given it a better review but I was so pissed that it wasn't the move that I have been waiting weeks for. Netfli x should be obligated to add a warning message that pops up when you queue it

Then there's this from my personal favorite "Snakes on a Train":
does this have anything to do with snakes on a plane? i never figured that out? i heard rumors it was supposed to be SOAP 2, but is it really?

Just...wow. I'm gonna stop there. I could go on IMDB but doing that would be like going to Downtown Gary, Indiana after dark...and your name ends in Hitler. So anyway, I hope this taught you an important lesson: before you add it to your Netflix queue, know what movie you're getting. Or else I'm gonna come around and prank you!
-Jason

1 comment:

TJMAC510 said...

Yeah I'm shocked at how stupid some people are. When I went to get my copy of the Asylum version of this I had two incidents happen that made me lose faith in humanity.

1st: the person behind me in line is like
Idiot:"Where'd ya get that? I heard the Downey version doesn't come out for a while."
Me:"It didn't. This is not the Downey version."
Idiot: "Yeah it is. There was no other Sherlock Holmes movie released so it must be the Downey version. So where'd ya get it?"
Me: No seriously...look at this cover. There are dinosaurs and octopuses and nowhere are the names Downey and Law written on here."
Idiot: "Oh...why are you getting it then?"

Soon after I got up to the clerk and it was basically this:
Clerk: "You know this isn't the Downey version right?"
Me: Yeah. I'm fully aware that this is the Asylum mockbuster version of Sherlock Holmes."
Clerk: "Oh...you sure you want it?"


Needless to say there are too many stupid people in this world.