Wednesday, April 07, 2010

Razzies '10: All About Steve

I almost forgot I have to do two Razzie related reviews. I had to wait until some time cleared up. It'll be a couple of days before I get to Transformers 2 so for now here's my review on "All About Steve".

My thoughts on this movie: I don't think it's that bad.

Seriously, what's the big fucking deal about this movie? Why was it so poorly receieved? I mean, I view this movie as I view all typical romantic comedy films:
-The lead chick is annoying as hell and does stupid shit all the way though.
-The lead dude is an asshole and/or a douche.
-The "comic relief" is a bigger asshole.
-The "comedy" is flat but I get some chuckles out of it.

So let's go over the story to get it over with. Sandra Bullock, who apparently won an Oscar the same weekend she won a Razzie for this movie, plays Mary, a crossword puzzle author. She lives with her parents and she has a pet, which I forget what it is at this moment. A turtle? Monkey? I dunno, it's one of those dumb things that's in ALL ROMANTIC COMEDIES!

Mary's parents decide to get her laid and hook her up with Steve, played by Bradly Cooper. Bradly Cooper was sort of unknown when he took this role. Thankfully, he kicked ass in "The Hangover" and his career was saved. Steve, despite me saying all lead dudes in these type of movies are assholes, is just boring. He's just a hunky guy that's there to make Mary's panties wet.

And Mary's panties get so wet she practically rapes him in his truck outside her parents house. But because Mary doesn't ever shut the fuck up, Steve pretends he left his dick at home and drops her off and runs as fast as he can. But Mary turns stalkerish and, I'm not shitting you, DEVOTES AN ENTIRE CROSSWORD PUZZLE DEVOTED TO STEVE! (Hence "All About Steve").

Steve's job is a camerman for the local news and he and news reporter Hartman Hughes (Thomas Haden Church) have to go all over the country following different news stories. Because Mary's a stalker, she follows him and hilarity ensues.

During one of their stops, Hartman hears Steve talk about Mary, and he eventually finds her. For some reason, Hartman makes it his mission to annoying the fuck out of Steve by putting thoughts into Mary's head. This whole thing I didn't understand. Was a scene edited out? Why is Hartman doing this to Steve? It looks like they get along otherwise. I don't know.

Anyway, the action comes to a head when some kids fall down some massive hole somewhere and Mary ends up falling into the hole herself (cause she's a dumbass). So now the news story turns to Mary in the hole and she has to figure out how to get out.

Eventually, she does and she gets over Steve and the movie just kinda ends. Honestly, this is how every other romantic comedy plays out. What about this particular one do you people hate about it? I mean, sure Bradly Cooper is no Tom Hanks, and Sandra Bullock is no Meg Ryan, but still. It felt like I just watched "You Got Mail" or "When Harry Met Sally" or some shit. I don't love this movie but I didn't hate it either. I'm satisfied with watching it just once.

But anyway, I got this review out of way. Now I get watch "Transformers 2: This Time There's Racist Robots In The Movie". Hooray for me.


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