Post 300

Jeez. 300 posts? What the hell have I been doing? I started this blog way back in 2007 when I wanted an outlet to ramble on and on about what's on my mind movie wise. Of course, I ended up being "The Mayor of Blogs-NoOne-Reads-ville" until I joined a little group called "The LAMB", and now I'm the Mayor of Three-or-Four-People Reads-Ville! What an improvement!

In all honesty, I enjoy typing stuff into this little box and having however many people it really is read this and even though feedback is scarce (I really don't know if I suck or if I'm funny) I keep doing it to entertain YOU, the reader.

So to bring this back around to movies, especially not-good-ones, I'll devote this post to the last two movies I saw in theaters.

First was "My Bloody Valentine" and yes I saw it IN 3-D!! OOOOH!!!! And I gotta say, seeing it in 3-D...was the only good thing about the whole thing. The movie itself wasn't that good, plot or story wise. I kinda saw the ending coming. But the 3-D effects were pretty cool and I only recommend the movie in that format.



Next up was the Friday the 13th remake. If you know me at all, you know some part of me had to see this movie, despite Michael Bay's untalented hand having something to do with this. The entire thing confuses me, cause I don't know how I feel. If I ignore the fact there was a previous "Friday the 13th" (A much better one at that), it's a decent slasher flick with a spooky killer guy. But going in knowing about the previous 9 billion Jason films and knowing how he really acts, this one kinda lets me down. Jason (the killer) doesn't act like the killer in this film. He has no personality. He's really not human. You can do all kinds of shit to him and nothing will stop him. Ever.

And the remake really covers Part 1, 2, and 3 (oddly enough they left the 3-D feature out), what with the inclusion of Jason's Mom, Jason wearing a bag on his head, then finally finding the hockey mask. Considering this film became the #1 movie this weekend, Shithead Bay is probably gonna order up a sequel. Or some lame thing like "Friday the 13th: The Beginning" Where we see Jason drown and it's not gonna be scary and will be totally pointless.

I really want to cover the original Friday the 13th films. Since we get another Friday the 13th in March, I SHOULD make the first 12 days of March Friday the 13th related. Hmm...something to think about.

Anyway. This is it. Big 300th post. Let me know how I'm doing. And I'll keep churning them out. Thank you again for reading and let's make it 400 posts!
-Jason

The Fight For #1: Week 7 Results

HA! I have prevailed!



This Weeks Scores:
Jason, Bobbie, April: 10
Highway: 4
Maria: 7

Total Scores For The Month:
Jason: 20
Bobbie, April: 18
Maria: 15
Highway: 12
Felicia, Todd: 10
Adam: 8
Sean: 7

Man, I'm actually on a roll this month. Next week a new Tyler Perry opens up so I think we all know what's gonna happen then. Until then, thanks for playing and see you on the other side of post 300!
-Jason

Post 298

This morning when I went to post about the new Fight for #1, I saw that I was at 297 posts. This post is 298. Sunday I'll be doing post 299 to post this weeks winner. So that means post 300 is coming soon.

Many bloggers probably don't make a big deal about how many posts they have. Quality over quanity, right? Well since about 50-60% of my quality is "NEW REVIEW" then a link, I think quantiy is pretty damn important.

I'm not sure what post 300 is gonna be. I'm tempted to make it a video post where I re-enact a scene from "300", but I don't think anyone wants to see me shirtless and kicking an invisible man down a pit of death that doesn't exist.

So anyway, this post is gonna be a few things I would make seperate posts about but I don't wanna ruin the flow of things so I'll throw them all into one big bloated post.

And away we go.

1. Inglorious Basterds Trailer:
Really? BasTERDS? Why that wording? Is this explained in the movie? Every other movie blog I been too talked about this trailer so I figured I should since I'm a huge, giant, Tarantino fan.

Changed to a link cause the widescreen thing made this post look stupid.

The dude at the beginning was bugging me, cause I knew who he was but couldn't place then. Then someone pointed out it was Eli Roth and I went "Oh no..." So they're buddies now, this means we have to put up with Eli's "acting"? Jeez. Bring back Michael Madsen or the other Roth, Tim. And everyone's making a big deal about Brad Pitt's accent but I don't see a problem with it. I do like how QT worked Hitler in and made him a character. This is gonna be kickass.

2. Last week I bought the "graphic novel" (Its not a comic book dammit) Watchmen to read before I go see the movie. I did this cause I kept hearing how dark the whole thing is and how there's no way it'll be a faithful adaptation and how the ending will be changed and stuff. So I wanted to compare. So far I like what I read. The story is slow as all hell but there's lots of tits and fucked up shit happening to counter it so it's all good.

3. I'm already hearing less than kind words about the remake of "Friday the 13th". I still think it'll be #1 and I still wanna see it. I went out to dinner with the fiancee and we overheard some dude talk about it with his friends and I totally felt like jumping in on the conversation cause they were talking about all the sequels and the one called "Jason in Space" (It's Jason X dammit!) but I heard some of the differences in the remake and I get the feeling I'm not gonna like it either. THEY RUINED MY NAMESAKE!

4. If you look off to the right, you'll see two polls, one for which worst film nominee I should review and one for which nominee in every other category I should review for Razzie time. I realized a bit too late that I misspelled Guru and I couldn't edit it unless I deleted it but someone voted for it already, so Love Guro will have to stand for another week. I did wanna mention that I probably won't be able to get to the "winners" that weekend cause of work (grr work) but I'll have time off the following week to get to it. Apologizes all around for that.

5. Later on (after post 300) I'm gonna do a post about favorite Movie Posters. I'll accept some ideas/submissions so if you have one or two that you like, email me at invasionofthebmovies at gmail dot com and I'll post them up.

6. Mass Invasion Mania! I started a new Mass Invasion, which won't be posted until March sometime. I'll keep the movie a secret for now but it's a doozy.

7. I don't remember if I linked to it before but I'll do it again. Over at the LAMB, Master Fletch asked us lowly peasents to write a thing about each Oscar category. We did this last year where I wrote about Best Visual Effects and I spent the entire thing talking about how much Transformers sucks, which didn't make a lot of people happy. So I vowed to change that and write this years category, which is Best Supporting Actor a bit differently. Judging by the lack of comments that post got (only got 3, one of them which said, and I quote: "the only LAMB oscar thingy I didn't enjoy. Pure stupid babbling"), everyone was so thrilled with it that they were speechless. I'm sure later on, possibly in the summer, the thrill will wear off and they'll randomly leave a comment on my blog saying "BEST OSCAR POST EVAH!!!" and I won't have any clue what they're talking about. It's ok, everybody. You don't have to be tongue-tied around me. I'm a normal person like you. Well, maybe not "normal" but still. Anyway, here it is.

8. The more I think about it, the more I wanna do the video where I re-enact "300".

That's all. Thanks for reading all this crap.
-Jason

The Fight For #1: Week 7

This week should be interesting. A few pretty major movies are opening this weekend. Probably picking the one that'll win will be tough. Will everyone wanna see a horror remake of a classic? Or will they wanna see Clive Owen kick some ass while throwing the word "bank" around as many times as he can? Or are women gonna rule this weekend and drag their boyfriends to see an annoying woman spend money like it's going out of style? (I'll tell you this if I hear the words "You speak Proda" again I'm probably gonna go on a rampage.

Anyway, here's last weeks top ten:


There are a few limited releases as well, like the movie with Joanquin Phoenix, who by the way is either slowly going insane or is pulling the biggest act of his carrer. And some IMAX under sea film narrated by...Jim Carrey? Huh. If you say so.

My guess for this week, naturally, has to go to "Friday the 13th". Yes I said it.

Anyway here are where the scores stand right now:
Me, Felicia, Todd: 10
Maria, Highway, Bobbie, Adam, April: 8
Sean: 7

I never know how to end a post so...bye!
-Jason

The Fight For #1: Week 6 Results

Totals This Week:
Me, Felicia, Todd: 10
Maria, Highway, Bobbie, Adam, April: 8
Sean: 7

I must admit when the guesses for Coraline started coming in, I figured they'd be right, since goth emo kids seem to be attracted to that crap and what else are they gonna do? But in the end, the chicks always win. Good job everybody! Hope to see this level of participation next week? And it's not too late to join in, if you get 10 or 9 points.

Coming out next week is Friday the 13th. And some other movies but I'm not paying any attention to them cause I'm pretty sure this is gonna dominate, despite it being a unneeded remake, but dammit it looks like an awesome unneeded remake.
-Jason

New Review: Tin Man Part 2

Part 2 of my 4 part Tin Man review is now up.

Tin Man: Part 2

Enjoy!
-Jason

The Fight for #1: Week 6

New month, new scores. We all start back at zero. So if you wanted to play, here is your chance.

Here's last weeks top ten:


Coming out this week:
Pink Panther 2
He's Not That Into You
Push
Coraline
Fanboys (possibly limited).

My guess is going to go to "He's Not That Into You" cause everyone all over the place can't seem to shut up about this.

Sorry this post is late and quick. It's actually kinda nice outside and we're eager to go outside and play. See ya!
-Jason

I'm Gonna Defend: The Spirit

I felt the need to start a series of posts where I defend a movie that I don't get why everyone hates. Normally I understand, like why everyone hates "House of the Dead" or I'm baffled on why a movie is so popular like "Transformers". But often times there are movies that I've seen and enjoyed on some level but when I read what my fellow bloggers have to say about it, they're like "It Sucked!"

One such case of this recently was "The Spirit". I'm sorta clueless as to what the hate was about.

It was based on a graphic novel, so all the shots and lines of dialogue were lifted directly from that. Nobody complained when this was also done for "Sin City", a movie I really loved.

And when you're basing stuff from a graphic novel, certain liberties have to taken. So you really shouldn't be asking "Why is that guy flying?" or "Who really talks like that?" That's like people asking "Wouldn't Peter Parker die from radiation poisoning? And are there really radioactive spiders?"

When I go into a comic book movie, I already expect to see a bunch of ridiculous things, such as impossible stunts and awkard lines of dialogue. I don't expect Oscar worthy performances and expect to cry at the end of the film. I expect explosions, fight scenes, and horrible one-liners that'd make David Caruso blush.

Another thing people rag on about "The Spirit" is the fact it was directed by Frank Miller, who only "co-directed" one film, and that one film being "Sin City". So maybe there could've been a better choice (maybe Robert Rodriguz again? Certainly not Zach Snyder, he was busy making "Watchmen" another graphic novel movie I'm sure people are gonna bitch about) but I think Miller did an OK job. He pointed the camera. He told people what to do. I enjoyed the story and the shots. Mission accomplished.

The only thing I can figure is maybe all the people hating on this movie are hard core "Spirit" fans and didn't agree with the direction the film took. I'll admit I never heard of "The Spirit" until the movie came out and I'm sure many people haven't either. And probably as a result, more people probably looked into the graphic novel, which is something I would want if I was a graphic novel geek. Unless there's some unspoken code about only certain people can know about this piece of work and any outsiders are not welcome, go away humans GO AWAY!!

Sort of the same with me and "Watchmen". I never heard of the graphic novel until the movie came out and after looking it up on Amazon and reading the first few pages from the "Peek Inside" thing, I wanna read the whole thing, especially before I see the movie cause I hear the book is much more darker then what people are saying the movie is gonna be.

So in conclusion, while I respect every person's opinons, I don't really understand the huge hate towards "The Spirit". It'd be different if people were like "Eh, it wasn't for me" but there are people out there who are flat out angry and I don't get why. Hell, it has Eva Mendes AND Scarlet Johannson...oh that's probably it. We don't need hot chicks in our geeky little films.

Nevermind.
-Jason

New Review: Tin Man: Part 1

Part 1 out of 4 of my review of a Sci-Fi Original Movie.

Tin Man: Part 1

Enjoy!
-Jason

The Fight For #1: Week 5 Results And January Winner

$18 of that 24.6 million for "Taken" is mine. Me and Felicia saw it on Friday. It was ok. It was like a typical episode of "24", even down to the daughter being named Kim. I probably wouldn't want to see it again though. And (spoiler alert) the whole thing turned into a thing about human traffiking so it was kind of a bummer.

Anyway, enough yammering from me, here are this week's scores:
Fletch, April, Me, Bobbie : 10
Felicia, Maria : 9
Highway: 8

And the totals for January are:
Maria: 47
Me: 46
Felicia: 41
April: 39
Bobbie: 38
Sean: 30
Fletch: 27
Adam: 18
Highway: 15
Rachael: 12
ecrunner: 10

Which makes Maria the big winner for January! Congratulations Maria! I would offer you a prize or make some kind of flashy graphic but I suck at that. Maybe somewhere down the road I'll have something made.

So now it's a new month and we all start over again. Next week is The Pink Panther 2, Heroes: The Movie (AKA Push), He's Not That Into You, Fanboys (A movie I'm totally looking forward to) and Coraline. Man, that's a lot of major releases. I really have no idea. Ok I do, but that's for next week.

See ya then!
-Jason

The Fight for #1: Week 5

Ok folks, this is the last game for this month, so if you played earlier this month but didn't the last two weeks for whatever reason, this would be a good time to catch up on points. Next week we all go back to zero and I announce the winner of January.

Coming out this week:
Taken-With Liam Neeson as Jack Bauer.
The Uninvited-A horror movie with Elizabeth Banks. The only upside to this is since it's a horror movie, she'll get naked.
And finally "New in Town"-A Renee Zellweger "comedy" which means it's probably just Bridget Jones without the phony accent.

Here's last week's top ten in case you forgot:


My guess is gonna go with Taken cause it looks pretty damn good and I'm sure by now everyone's Blarted out.

Good luck everybody!
-Jason

Updated Review: The Re-Animator

I take another look at my favorite movie where a headless guy tries to give a girl head.

The Re-Animator

Enjoy!
-Jason

The Fight For #1: Week 4 Results

I figured, since there wasn't much of anything coming out this weekend, Mr. James would still reign as the King of Movie Theaters.

This Weeks Score:
Me Felicia April Maria & Sean: 10
Fletch: 9
Highway & Rachael*: 4

This Months Score Total:
Maria: 37
Me: 36
Felicia: 32
Sean: 30
April: 29
Bobbie: 28
Adam: 18 Points
Fletch: 17
Rachael*: 12
ecrunner: 10 Points
Highway: 7

As I stated last week, this is a monthly game so at the start of the month we all start back at zero and each month will have a winner. As of now, Maria is taking the lead, but still could be anybody's game. We have one more weekend, which gives us "The Uninvited" and Liam Neeson as Jack Bauer in "Taken". So hopefully the last week of January will have even more players. As for everyone who has participated thus far, thanks so much and good luck!
-Jason

* I know at least three chicks named Rachael so I'm not sure if this scoring belongs to the same one or not. If you could, all three chicks named Rachael, when you leave your guess can you put your last initial or something to distingush you guys. I'm sure you all three spell your names differently (probably one of you spells it with a z or something) but I can't tell. Sorry about that. Thank you very much.

The Fight for #1: Week 4

I was gonna say there's nothing really good coming out this week, but after last week's shocker, I guess it's anybody's game.

Anyway, movies coming out today are:
Underworld: Rise of the Fancy Word For Werewolves-A prequel nobody asked for, that doesn't include the hot chick that was in the other films.
Inkheart-A Branden Fraiser fantasy flick about...something.
And for some reason, a film called Killshot is only premiring in Phoenix, Arizona, which is where I think Fletch lives so he's probably happy about that.

A reminder on last week's top ten:


All submissions are to be in by 11:59 Saturday Night. Reminder that I am erasing all scores at the end of January so if you haven't played yet and feel you'd never catch up, you'll still have a chance.

My choice is gonna go to Paul Blart, only cause there doesn't seem to be much else out, and people really seem to dig the movie.

So what says you?
-Jason

The Razzie's '09

Alright, everybody. Here is the offical Razzie post for 2009. I'm slightly dissapointed but I guess I should expect it by now. As always, my choices are italicized.

Worst Picture:
Disaster Movie and Meet The Spartans
The Happening
The Hottie and The Nottie
In The Name of The King:A Dungeon Siege Tale
The Love Guru
(This movie should've never happened.)

Worst Actor:
Larry the Cable Guy
WITLESS PROTECTION

Eddie Murphy
MEET DAVE

Mike Myers
THE LOVE GURU

Al Pacino
88 MINUTES
and
RIGHTEOUS KILL

Mark Wahlberg
THE HAPPENING
and
MAX PAYNE
(I'm starting to agree, he's playing the same character over and over again.)

Worst Actress:
Jessica Alba
THE EYE
and
THE LOVE GURU

The Cast of THE WOMEN
(Annette Bening, Eva Mendes, Debra Messing, Jada Pinkett-Smith
and Meg Ryan)

Cameron Diaz
WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS

Paris Hilton
THE HOTTIE AND THE NOTTIE

Kate Hudson
FOOLS’ GOLD
and
MY BEST FRIEND’S GIRL
(At least the other people on this list are suppose to be acting. I dunno why Paris Hilton bothers, really.)

Worst Supporting Actor:
Uwe Boll (as Himself)
Uwe Boll’s POSTAL

Pierce Brosnan
MAMMA MIA!

Ben Kingsley
THE LOVE GURU, WAR, INC.
and
THE WACKNESS

Burt Reynolds
DEAL
and
IN THE NAME OF THE KING: A DUNGEON SIEGE TALE

Verne Troyer
THE LOVE GURU
and
Uwe Boll’s POSTAL
(I really don't wanna think about James Bond singing ABBA songs. Really don't.)

Worst Supporting Actress:
Carmen Electra
DISASTER MOVIE
and
MEET THE SPARTANS

Paris Hilton
REPO: THE GENETIC OPERA

Kim Kardashian
DISASTER MOVIE

Jenny McCarthy
WITLESS PROTECTION

Leelee Sobieski
88 MINUTES
and
IN THE NAME OF THE KING
(Out of everyone on this list, Kim Kardashian has the worst excuse to be "acting" in anything where she's not required to take her clothes off.)

Worst Screen Couple:
Uwe Boll & ANY Actor,
Camera or Screenplay

Cameron Diaz & Ashton Kutcher
WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS

Paris Hilton
and either
Christine Lakin
or
Joel David Moore
HOTTIE & THE NOTTIE

Larry the Cable Guy & Jenny McCarthy
WITLESS PROTECTION

Eddie Murphy IN Eddie Murphy
MEET DAVE
(This is just a scary thought, thinking of these two as a "couple". Shudder with me, people.)

Worst Director:
Uwe Boll
1968: Tunnel Rats, In The Name Of The King
and
Postal

Jason Friedberg & Aaron Seltzer
DISASTER MOVIE
and
MEET THE SPARTANS

Tom Putnam
THE HOTTIE AND THE NOTTIE

Marco Schnabel
THE LOVE GURU

M. Night Shyamalan
THE HAPPENING
(I get the feeling Uwe is finally gonna "win" in this category.)

Worst Screenplay:
Disaster Movie
and
Meet The Spartans
Both Written By Jason Friedberg & Aaron Seltzer

The Happening
Written By M. Night Shyamalan

The Hottie And The Nottie
Written By Heidi Ferrer

In The Name Of The King:
A Dungeon Siege Tale
Screenplay By Doug Taylor

The Love Guru
Written By Mike Myers & Graham Gordy
(I keep picking on "The Hottie" cause it really is an idea that should've been put to paper, then showed to people obviously on drugs, then finally put on film.)

Worst Prequel, Remake, Rip-off, or Sequel:
The Day The Earth Blowed Up Real Good (The Day The Earth Stood Still)

Disaster Movie and Meet The Spartans

Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of The Crystal Skull

Speed Racer

Star Wars: The Clone Wars
(I just went with the obvious choice since the other movies I really don't have a problem with. I thought Speed Racer was good. Clone Wars don't look too bad. I really don't get why everyone picks on Indiana Jones but I swore I'd stop ranting about that.)

Worst Carrer Achievement:
Uwe Boll (Germany’s Answer to Ed Wood)
Since this is the only "nomination" it's rather pointless to italize it. It really seems like they wanna stick it to Uwe Boll in some way shape or form.

So now this is where YOU, the reader, comes in. I started this last year and I plan on doing again this year. I'm gonna make two polls. One with all the Worst Picture nominations and you pick which one (or two if you go with the Diaster/Spartan thing) I should do. The second, since they dropped the horror movie category this year, is gonna be a free-for-all, where I list all the movies that got nominated in all the categories and you pick which one of those I should watch along with the worst picture choice.

According to the site, The Razzie "winners" will be announce on February 21st (a month from now.) So I'll keep the poll up until Feb 20th. Then (hopefully) I'll get to the reviews the 21st and 22nd if my schedule allows. The polls will be hosted here on the blog off to the right.

And that's it. Feel free to tell me what your picks are.
-Jason

Razzie-Dazzie

So tomorrow morning, the Razzie Nominations will be announced. You know what that means?

What you don't know what that means? Oh jeez fine.

It means it's time for my annual Look At The Razzies, where I post all the nominations, make my guess, then put up a poll on which two films, one for "Worst Picture" and one for "Worst Horror" (if that category still exists this year) I should watch the weekend the "winners" are announced.

So stay tuned for that!
-Jason

Two Instances of Black Presidents in Film and TV

I forgot what it was that I saw but back in the 90's I went to see a movie and when the trailers came up, we saw Morgan Freeman standing at some desk saying "Is everything ready?" Then someone replied "Yes Mr. President." When that happened, about half the people in the theater gasped in shock. Keep in mind this was probably 97 or 98. Of course that movie turned out to be Deep Impact, which I hadn't seen, cause it came out the same time as the other "OMGZ The Earth Is Gonna Die!" series. I've seen "Armageddon" and figured it was probably the same. Even watching the trailer I said "WTF" outloud.



...artists? Why artists? I mean I like artist but are they THAT important to have stored in a cave during the apocylpse?

The other instance of a black president that I have seen is the first 3 seasons of "24". Well techically, he was running in season 1, was President in season 2, and was running for re-election in season 3. But David Palmer (AKA The All-state Guy) was probably a kickass President. He made tough decisions and had to make them while dealing with his stupid brother and psychotic ex-wife, who probably was my favorite "24" character, next to Jack Bauer.

I guess what I'm saying is these are probably the best portrayals of a black president. Then again there was Terry Crew's character in "Idiocracy":


But I'm sure Obama would choose to forget that portrayal.
-Jason

The Fight For #1: Week 3 Results

Ladies and gentlemen, I dunno about you but I call this an upset. NOBODY (but one guy who later changed his mind at the last minute, you know who you are) saw this coming.



I...no word.

This Weeks Scores:
April: 9
Bobbie, Maria, & Fletch : 8
Me & Felicia: 7
Highway: 3

Total Scores:
Bobbie: 28
Maria: 27
Me: 26
Felicia: 22
Sean: 20
April: 19
Adam: 18
ecrunner: 10
Fletch & Rachael: 8
Highway 3

Next week there's nothing really that great coming out. Just ANOTHER Underworld sequel and ANOTHER Brandon Fraiser fantasy film. With Paul Blart pulling ahead totally out of nowhere, I guess it's anyones game next week.
-Jason

The Bored Cronicles: Post 2

I figured I'd take some time to talk about my Amazon wish list since I mentioned it in the last post. About what's on there and why and whatnot.

First off, I went ahead and bought "Thriller: The Non-Michael Jackson Film Thing", the "red" version which is the unedited or edited version. Whatever. I also needed to get something that was at least a penny to get the free shipping. The cheapest thing was "The Room". If you don't know what that is, boy do I have a future post for you...when it arrives.

So first off I kept the other version of "Thriller" just for the hell of it. Maybe it'll pay off to have both versions and that way I can tell which one is better or something.

Next is something I found at Lazy Eye Theater, a book by "Jack Torrence" called "All Work And No Play Makes Jack A Dull Boy". It's a mystery as to what's inside and it's on sale for 9.99 so I'm a little curious.

Then there's Vampire Vixens from Venus. This came about cause I remembered randomly the other day a movie me and Bill started to watch a long time ago but we never finished. It was about aliens taking the form of real hot women with big tits and killing horny men. This was the closest thing I could find when I searched for it.

The Bone Yard was introduced to me by Final Girl and this is the trailer. Tell me that doesn't look freakin awesome!

There's Nothing Out There is a movie I reviewed on VHS a long time ago and I wanna update it, but the DVD isn't available on Netflix. I'm starting to hate them. Grr...

The Burning. Just...The Burning. I want to own this on DVD, it's awesomely bad.

Night of Horror I read about at The Agony Booth. It's apparently super hard to find and unless I wanna shell out 12 bucks on a VHS tape of a old crappy movie, it's really gonna be hard for me to find.

The World's Worst: A Guide to the Most Disgusting, Hideous, Inept, and Dangerous People, Places, and Things on Earth. Um...I had this on my list since the beginning of my Amazon Wish List and frankly I forgot why I put it on there. It sounds interesting.

Hard to Die was made by the same geniuses that made "Sorority House Massacre 2: Nighty Nightmare" and features the same character: Orville Ketchup! I badly want to see this.

The first three seasons of "Soap" cause that show is freakin awesome! Name another sitcom told in the style of a soap opera that deals with demonic possession, a ventriloquist dummy, and a guy who thinks he's invisible all the time. You can't! It's awesome! I had a VHS tape of some episodes when it was on Comedy Central but now it's missing. (Insert sad face here)

The First Season of Night Court. How come the other seasons aren't coming out? WHY NOT???

Hollywood Urban Legends: The Truth Behind Alll Those Delightfully Persistent Myths of Film, Television, and Music. This sounds pretty cool and it's written by Richard Roeper who I kinda like. Kinda.

Well, that's it. I'll let you know what I thought of Thriller and The Room when they get here...sometime...later this month.
-Jason

(Watching The Bone Yard trailer makes me wanna start up Trailer Thursdays again. So it shall be done!)

The Bored Chronicles: Post 1

I have the day off today and it's -300 degrees outside. So needless to say I'm staying in today. And...I don't have much to do. The fiancee is here as well and while we could entertain each other (take that however you want), we like to do seperate things as well.

So I figured I should do a post now just to pass some time.

I was on Netflix checking out my Queue, thinking maybe I can watch something instantly when I saw something "unavailable". I clicked on it and I got this message:



Argh!

Thriller: They Call Her One Eye was suggested by Adam and is about a chick who's put into forced prostitution then goes crazy and kills people or something. It sounded like it was right up my alley. It doesn't say WHY they no long have this film available, which bugs me the most. If they said "Sorry, this DVD is so damaged we can't possibly keep sending it out to frustrated customers who try to watch a movie but can't cause of all the scratches because we know how fucking annoying that is" I would've been fine with that. But no, they don't say why.

So I went and added it to my Amazon Wish List. There's actually both versions, I think one is a rated version and the other is unrated. I dunno which is which. If anyone wants to be nice enough to get it for me, that'd be neat. You don't HAVE to. But you COULD...
-Jason

The Fight For #1: Week 3

I've decided to add on a new rule. Each month the scores will be erase and we'll start all over again. So this gives people who wanted to participate a chance to do so without feeling like it's hopeless to never catch up. So each month will have a winner.

This week's new movies are:
My Bloody Valentine 3-D, a remake of a classic cult horror movie from the 80's (maybe 70's?)
Notorious, the B.I.G bio-pic.
The wide release of Defiance.
Hotel for Dogs, some kids movie about a hotel...for dogs.
And last but certainly not least Paul Blart: Mall Cop.

As a reminder here's last's weeks top ten:



Game/contest ends Saturday night at 11:59 PM, you have until then to submit your guess. I'll email everyone a reminder midday (hopefully) on Saturday.

My guess WAS gonna be Gran Torino again but after reading some bad reviews, I'm gonna go ahead with Notorious.

Good luck!
-Jason

Updated Review: The Stuff

I revisit this classic about blobby white stuff possessing anyone who eats it.


The Stuff

Enjoy!
-Jason

The Fight For #1: Week 2 Results

Color me surprised.



Bobbie, ecrunner, Sean, and April get 10 points
Me, Felicia, and Maria get 9 points
Rachael and Adam get 8 points.

Totals so far:
Sean and Bobbie: 20 Points
Me and Maria: 19 Points
Adam: 18 Points
Felicia: 15 Points
April: 10 Points
ecrunner: 10 Points
Rachael: 8 Points

I mean really. Didn't Gran Torino come out already? Like, wide release? I'm confused.
And notice Valkyrie got 66.6. If that's not a sign about Tom Cruise I don't know what is.
Until next week, when we got My Bloody Valentine 3-D (not the third sequel like I thought at first) and Notorious which is the long awaited bio pic of Duran Duran.
-Jason

The One I Won't Do

Years ago, when I was just a lad, I was given a book of movie reviews. In that book was a review for "Last House On The Left". The review was less than kind and since I knew that that age that I would purposely torment myself with horrible movies I desperately wanted to see it.

Sometime after that, when I got my very own video rental card, I did.

And holy shit did I hate that movie. My god. I didn't know if I should laugh at it, cry, throw up, or smash it to pieces. It was just terrible. On top of the endless rape scenes, there's the "comedy relief" in form of two cops. I just didn't like it.

So now there's a remake of it, and after seeing the trailer, it looks to be about 1000 times better than the original.



Of course I watched the trailer for the original and that looked like a good movie.


So what I'm saying is never again in my life will I watch the original "Last House on the Left" but I will go see the remake. I'm a horrible movie/horror fan.
-Jason

RIP Ray Dennis Steckler

Ray Dennis Steckler, the star and director of "The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies" has passed away earlier this week. TISCWSLABMUZ was the first ever Mass Invasion, and one of my favorite MST3K episodes. I haven't really seen any of his other movies (one of which is titled Rat-Pfink A Boo-Boo) and he may not have been the best director in the world. But you gotta admit he came up with some interesting stuff.

And also he kinda looked like Nicolas Cage.

-Jason

The Fight For #1: Week 2

Submissions are now open, which movie do you think will be number 1 this week?

Opening this week (According to imdb.com) is:
Bride Wars, starring Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway about two chicks who fight to get married or something.
The Unborn, a horror movie about a hot chick being haunted by a fetus. Bought to you by the Anti-Abortion League.
Not Easily Broken, a movie where 90% of the cast is black and is being compared to the works of Tyler Perry.
Grand Torino
and
The Reader, which I thought were already out since I've read some reviews about them but imdb has the opening date for today so whatever.

Here are last week's top ten:


Either email me your guess at invasionofthebmovies at gmail dot com or leave a comment on this post. Submissions end on Saturday night at 11:59 PM. Anything sent in after that will not be accepted.

As for me I'm gonna go with Bride Wars only cause it's new, it stars some famous people, and horror movies, unless it's a damn Saw movie, don't ever crack the top five.

That's it. Good luck!
-Jason

The Fight for #1: Week 1 Results

Scores:
Me, Sean, Maria, Adam, & Bobbie-10 Points
Felicia-6

It looks practically unchanged from last week, doesn't it? Coming next week is the Anne Hathaway/Kate Hudson rom-com about marriage. Will it take number one? We'll find out next week.

Thanks to all who played. Those who didn't, what your excuse? Too hard for ya?
-Jason

The Fight For #1: Week 1

Ok here we go. Place your bets place your bets!

Apparently I picked a bad week to start this since the only movie opening up this week is "Defiance" and it's only a limited release. But any event, last week's top ten is still in a running.



And since the outcome of all this is something I can't control I'm gonna be playing along as well. I swear I have no inside information or anything. So for my guess I'm gonna say Marley and Me is stay in it's #1 spot, since there's nothing new coming out and kids are still home from school and people seem to like anything with Jennifer Aniston in it. (I guess.) So that's my guess.

To submit your guess, either leave it as a comment to this post or email them to invasionofthebmovies at gmail dot com. Good luck!
-Jason

New Contest/Game Thingy Time!

Well I hinted at it so here it is. I haven't come up with an offical title yet. I still have another day to think of that.

The Objective: Each Thursday or Friday I'll list any movies that are coming out to theaters and all you have to do is supply a guess on which movie will take the number 1 spot. And it don't neccessarily have to be something that's opening that weekend, you can guess a movie that's already on the list from the week before.

Scoring: Whoever guesses correctly which movie ends up number 1 gets 10 points. If your choice isn't number one and does end up on the list, the scoring will work like so:
#2-9 points
#3-8 points
etc...

And that's it. Game starts on Thursdays or Friday and offically ends Saturday night at 11:59 PM. Anything after that won't be accepted. Send all entries to invasionofthebmovies at gmail dot com or as a comment in the corresponding post.
Any questions feel free to ask.
-Jason

A Non-Typical Look Back on 2008

I'm sure my fellow LAMBer's are working on, or have already posted, entries on their own Best of 2008 in terms of films and whatnot. I would do that too but since everyone else is doing it why should I? I like to be different, as you can tell. And besides Master Fletch had us pick our top ten films for 2008 already, which should be posted soon on the LAMB. When that's posted I'll be sure to let you know, whoever "you" are.

So what I'll do instead is talk about myself, cause I'm a self centered asshole.

Personally, 2008 was probably the most exciting year I've ever had. Not only did I get to see such great movies as "The Dark Knight" and "Iron Man", and argue with friends about the greatness of other movies such as "Hancock" or "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" (God in a wooden box and a dude pulling out a heart is ok but a lead fridge is too far out, man!), but I got a huge change in my life.

As you no doubt remember, at the end of August I moved from Northwest Indiana to Indianapolis and I was without internet for almost a month. For that month I was so out of touch on what was going on that I was starting to turn Amish. So much so that I grew a beard.

I eventually got back into the swing of things and reviewed my first five-star movie "Basket Case". God I love that damn movie. In fact I'm probably gonna watch it again tonight.

And I got to try out new things in 2008. Such as April's "30 Days of Horror" where every day in April I watched a horror movie. It didn't exactly work out in my favor due to family issues but overall it was a success. Will I be doing it again? I dunno, my work schedule is all messed up now so we'll see.

In January I got to drag my lovely fiancee to B-Fest, a yearly gathering of B-movie nerds and geeks alike. We were sorta locked in a theater for 24 hours watching nothing but bad movies. It was my second time (my first was back in 2004) so I knew what to expect. Felicia said she had fun but we'll see when B-Fest '09 rolls around.

I also got to make some new blogger friends through the LAMB and partake in several exciting events such as "Sirens of the LAMBs" in which I won! (Yay) And I had to write an Oscar report, which I did so talking about the evil of Michael Bay. Apparently I wasn't suppose to do that and suppose to talk about the award itself but that seemed too boring. And plus Fletch liked it, so whatever haterz! Pwnd!

In the Mass Invasion front, we had 3. Battlefield Earth, Showgirls, and Dolemite. I can't speak for everyone but I enjoy doing these Mass Invasions so more will be coming in 2009.

I landed my first interview, sort of, with an actual film maker, sort of. When I got an email from the director of "Fear of Clowns" I thought for sure I was dead. But he turned out to be a real cool guy, that is until he forced me to watch the sequel. Well played, Mr. Kangas. Well played.

And in 2008 I got to be a teenager again when I watched four, count 'em, FOUR horrible films aimed for the tween generation. I will possibly never be the same again.

And remember the Guilty Pleasures Blog-A-Thon? Hells yes I will be doing that again.

And finally, I made my first solo short film entitled "Birthday Present". I was making it during April's "30 Days of Horror" so you know April was an exhausting month for me.

Well that's some of cool things I've done this year. What does 2009 hold? I guess nobody knows. So let's just find out together, shall we?
-Jason

PS: New weekly event will be announced tomorrow. Stay tuned!

The Ghosts of Christmas Past and Shoulda-Beens

I planned on writing a bunch of Christmas related posts/reviews in December, but thanks to my stupid work schedule (Thanks for the seven day week, boss lady) I hadn't had the time nor energy to do so. I can tell you what they were gonna be and you can use your imagination as to what the reviews/posts would've been like.

I was gonna review Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman, the follow up to "Jack Frost" which was reviewed two years ago. I can only imagine what the sequel is like.

Then I was gonna compare both versions of "Black Christmas", having seen the remake a year ago in theaters (yeah there wasn't a lot of other choices to see then). I wrote a Probe about it sometime after seeing it but I wanted to see the original for my "Compare/Contrast" project. Maybe next year.

What I WILL talk about however is a special episode of Sesame Street called "Elmo Saves Christmas". I only mention it cause we sell it at work for some strange reason and every time I see it, I think about it more and more and remember how odd the whole thing was.

The basic gist of it is Elmo is really into Christmas and loves it so much that he wishes on some star or something that it could be Christmas every day. Then some magical reindeer shows up and not only grants Elmo's wish but takes him into the future to show what it'd be like if Christmas was every day.

They basically go through all the season, first stop in early Spring. Everyone's sorta still glad it's Christmas, but Big Bird misses Snuffy cause he's visiting his mom in Snuffy-land or something and the carolers look a bit tired.

Then it's Summer, which Elmo looked forward to cause he always wanted to celebrate Christmas in Summer. I dunno I think Egg Nog after it's been in the hot summer sun wouldn't taste as good. The effect of Christmas is running down on everyone and they're THIS close to become athiests.

It's off to Fall and...not a whole lot different than the Summer visit. The carolers look like they wanna drop dead, Big Bird has a nest full of unopened presents but the only thing he wants is Snuffy and everyone looks like they wanna kill themselves.

Finally it's back to winter when Christmas is suppose to be celebrated but at this point everyone's tired of it and wishes it never existed and when it's discovered Elmo wished for it to be everyday, there's seriously a witch hunt after Elmo. I wonder what would've happened if they caught him? Hang him from a tree? Feed him to Barkly? (You know Barkly. That giant dog. Yeah!)

Elmo regrets his wish and the magical reindeer undoes everything so now it's only once a year and everyone is happy again. Yay!

But holy Jesus is this thing depressing as hell. The couple that runs the shop (I forget their names it's been awhile) have gone bankrupt from keeping the store closed all year long and Big Bird was about to kill himself I think. Oscar was probably the happiest thing in the whole damn special. This whole thing reminds me of a line said on MST3K when they watched the short "A Case of Spring Fever": "So one clod says one thing and the entire world has to suffer?"

There are probably way better christmas specials than "Elmo Saves Christmas", which is a lie cause he didn't save shit, he kinda ruined it for everyone. I guess in the end he did? But it's kind of a hollow ending so it shouldn't count. Then again I guess "Elmo Fucks Up Christmas" isn't very child friendly, is it?
-Jason

PS: I can link you to the other Christmas related reviews I've done.
Santa Claus Mass Invasion
Santa's Slay
Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny
Elves

Merry Christmas, Guys (And Gals)

I doubt anyone will be reading this today (25th) but just in case, I hope you and your family have a swell Christmas. Let me know if you got anything interesting!



Ho Ho Ho!
-Jason

You're Being Parodied, Charlie Brown

Much like everyone else, I like the Charlie Brown Christmas Special, even if it is a tad bit depressing. So naturally I looked it up on Youtube and found all these interesting parodies. I'll just post my favorite ones.

Linus sings The Police "Everything She Does Is Magic":


A Charlie Brown Kwanzaa (might be offensive to some people. I would say Not Safe For Work, but I doubt anyone checks my blog while at work. I can't imagine anyone in their office or cubicle going "OH! I must see what stupidity Jason has for us today and I can't wait to get home!")


Here's something from the real thing, Linus explaining the true meaning of Christmas, and the heartfelt ending:





Finally, I literally have the Charlie Brown tree:

-Jason

My Favorite Holiday Scenes

So there's a Lamb Blog a thing thong something or another going on. I'm waiting for a video I made to get finished so I thought I'll go ahead and put mine in. I put "scenes" cause I picked two: one from a good movie, and one from a "b-movie". I didn't wanna say bad cause it's not really bad. It's actually one of my favorite Christmas movies but we'll get to that.

The Good: National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation

This will probably be picked by a few other people (or at least it should) but damn it all to heck I love the scene in "Christmas Vacation" when it's Christmas Eve and Clark Griswald (Chevy Chase) is very slowly going crazy cause of all the, er, craziness going on around him. His parents constantly bicker with his wife's parents. Cousin Eddie (Randy Quaid, in a role he was born to play) is there being his usual annoying stupid self. Things are just going wrong left and right. And, well, it's too much for one man to take. The only thing left to do? Go on a rampage and yell out every obsenity you can think of.



The Not-So-Good: Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2

If you know me, or follow my site and/or blog at all, you probably saw this coming. Words can't describe just watch:



I wish the dude playing Ricky was in more movies. Imagine him as Batman.

"JOKER DAY!"
-Jason

I Am Bloated

I randomly found this on Amazon. It's a "Ultimate Collectors" editon of "I Am Legend".

So question: Was this necessary?

And if you need a refresher on what I thought (cause that's the important thing here) click here.
-Jason

Netflix, Old Stuff, New Stuff, and Stuff

I'm in a write-y mood tonight so I thought I'd share some things. That's why I got a blog, right?

I decided to go through my Netflix queue and get rid of stuff I put on there when I first got it back in 2006. If I haven't gotten around to it by now I probably never will. I kept some of the more interesting titles (My favorite: The Grapes of Death) and now adding some newer stuff I wanna catch up on. Plus some TV shows, like the first season of "It's Always Sunny in Philidelphia". Have you seen that shit? It's hilarious.

I also wanna see season 2 of "Supernatural" so I got those on there. Otherwise it's all movies, both good and bad.

I'm not sure if I ever made this clear but I am open for suggestions on any movies you guys think I should take a look at. The only problem I can see with this is people telling me "Dude, you should see "Twilight" and review it! It's awful!" Well, I'm sure it is, but I probably won't. Then again, I did do the "High School Musical" series...damn teenagers! Get off my lawn!

Seriously, drop me a line if you have a movie you want me to check out.

I'm probably also gonna stop doing the Five for Friday cause 1: I work weird hours on Friday's and 2: No one seems to give a crap. In it's place I'm gonna do something involving fake internet money and the weekend box office totals. More on this later.

I also wanted to announce some things in regards to the site.
1. The month of January is probably gonna be devoted to me updating some of my reviews, so if you were dying to see the pancake scene without having to see "Cabin Fever" have no fear, I'll be getting around to it.
2. Then either February or March I'm gonna be taking on a huge epic movie that will most likely take up the entire month. That movie is...The Sci-Fi Channel's horrible epic "Tinman". If you don't know what this is, god are you in for a treat.

I think that's all I got for now. Thanks for reading (if you are reading) and hope you guys like the new stuff coming up.
-Jason

New Review: Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny

It's offically the holidays! Time to watch Santa....tell us the story of Thumbelina?

Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny

Also, yesterday (the 6th of December) was my offical 5 year anniversary of watching/reviewing bad movies. It all started with the cinematic classic "Rodentz" which can be found here:

Rodentz

Thanks!
-Jason

A List: 12 Unnessessary Sequels

At some point last night I was flipping through the channels and I saw that "Center Stage 2" was on. I didn't even know "Center Stage" had a sequel. Then I wondered why there was even a sequel to "Center Stage". Then I started thinking about other movies that didn't really need a sequel. I sure do a lot of thinking.

So here is my list of 12 (well 13 I guess since I mentioned Center Stage) sequels that didn't need to be made.

You know when I was coming up with this list, which involved looking at imdb, I realized there is one thing all these movies have in common: the sequels don't feature any of the original stars from the original movie. I suppose that means something.

Another thing is I didn't include any of the Disney sequels like "Bambi 2: Wrath of Bambi's Mom" or "Cinderella 4: This Time She's A Prostitute". Otherwise we'd be here all day and I'm sure we all have something better to do. Right?

1. American Psycho 2


Sequel to: American Psycho.
Plot of Original: Christian Bale is some successful corporate dude who likes to kill
chicks. Detective William Defoe is on the case. According to something I read a few weeks ago, the ending shows it might've been a dream or something.

Plot of sequel (from imdb): Rachael Newman has developed an interest for murders after she met psycho Patrick Bateman. To further study the subject, she enrolls at the university department for Behavioural and Social Sciences, under the expert leadership of ex-FBI man Robert Starkman. Very certain about herself, Rachael has one single goal: to become class assistant. It's a prestigious job as having that position will almost guarantee employment at the FBI. But becoming class assistant is no easy task to accomplish, as the first trouble arises when secretary Gerty Fleck decides she is too young for it. And Gerty Fleck won't be the only obstacle.

WTF: So it does feature the Patrick Bateman character, he's not played by Bale. Then it focuses on some girl for the rest of the movie. At least make it Patrick's sister or mom or something. Or better yet, grandmother. Can you imagine a 80 year old woman looking at her vicitim tied up while wearing a plastic suit, then turning on the radio and saying stuff like "Ahh Lawrence Welk. Many say Lawrence Welk..." etc.

2. Step up 2: The Streets


Sequel to: Step Up
Plot of Original: Some dude is a badass and is forced to serve community service at a dance school. His "slick" dance moves earn him a spot in some talent show and a bunch of lessons are learned.

Plot of Original (Based on what I pieced together from the trailer): This time some girl is a bad ass, but she's a street dancer bad ass. She goes to the same school, meets mildly ethnic stereotypes and then has to dance, in the streets, to prove a point. Lessons learned all around.

WTF: Really? Did we really need a sequel to a stupid dance movie? And have the sequel not feature ANYBODY from the original? Not even the mildly hot principal chick from the original is in it. The only way a sequel would be warrented is if we focused on the two characters from the original as they try to save their dance studio and invent a new move called Electric Boogaloo.

3. The Bring It On Series


Sequel to: Bring It On
Plot of Original: Some white cheerleaders go against some black cheerleaders.

Plot of all the sequels: Some white cheerleaders go against some black cheerleaders.

WTF: Yeah, let's make the same damn movie over and over again. Granted, the first one shouldn't have been made at all, but it had Kirsten Dunst and I think she's hot (well I did until Spiderman 3, Jesus stop crying already). And when one of your movies features Beyonce's younger sister, you should know it's time to stop.

4. Hollow Man 2


Sequel to: Hollow Man
Plot of Original: Kevin Bacon and some smart scientists discover how to make animate objects invisible. Kevin then decides to do it to himself, which he succeeds but then he goes crazy and decides to kill everyone.

Plot of Sequel (From imdb): In Seattle, after the mysterious death of the scientist Dr. Devin Villiers, Detective Frank Turner and his partner Det. Lisa Martinez are assigned to protect Devin's colleague Dr. Maggie Dalton. Lisa is killed while protecting Maggie, and Frank presses her to tell what is happening. She discloses that a veteran soldier called Michael Griffin was submitted to an experiment with the objective of creating the ultimate national security weapon, an undetectable soldier. However, the experiment failed, with horrible side effects due to the damage to the cells caused by the radiation. Michael is chasing Maggie to get the necessary buffer to survive.

WTF: We're now getting into the part of the list where in the original the main character dies, along with a bunch of people involved with the project. And I'm sure the few that did survive won't be doing that again. And reading that plot description it seems like it really has nothing to do with the first movie. It just features an invisible guy killing people. So if you write a movie about invisible people killing people, it's gonna be a "Hollow Man" sequel. Movie exec's probably wanted to turn it into a "Freddy/Jason/Michael" type franchise but it's hard to make Hollow Man halloween masks.

5. The Butterfly Effect 2


Sequel to: The Butterfly Effect
Plot of Original: Ashton Kucher can time travel. His time traveling fucks up some shit.

Plot of sequel: Some other dude can time travel. His time traveling fucks up some shit.

WTF: Depending on which ending you saw, this sequel could've been needed, or just be another one where the main character is dead so someone else takes over. One ending, the kind of happy ending, has Ashton going back and telling the girl that he loves he's gonna kill her, so she doesn't get involved with his life and lives happily ever after. The other had Ashton going back to when he was fetus and strangling himself with his umbilical cord. Seriously. So, if we stuck with the sort of happy ending, Ashton (or at least his character) could still be "Oh no I'm time traveling! AGAIN!" But apparently the film makers went with the depressing ending and gave the time traveling ability to some other guy, randomly. I could get into the time travel geekery and explain how the sequel could've filled in a bunch of plot holes from the original but I'll spare you all.

6. Van Wilder: The Rise of Taj


Sequel to: National Lampoon's Van Wilder
Plot of Original: Van Wilder loves parties but decides to be responsible so he can fuck Tara Reid (Like that's a hard task). Then a dude shits in a garbage can.

Plot of Sequel: Van Wilders ethnic stereotype friend Taj goes to London and turns a bunch of nerds into super party studs.

WTF: That sounds like a combination of "Revenge of the Nerds" and "The House Bunny", except House Bunny came out like two years after "Taj", so weird. Anyway, how you gonna name a movie "Van Wilder" and not even have the fucking character in the movie? Like Van Wilder is the new National Lampoon now or something. And was Taj really that popular he needed his own movie? "Yes, let's flesh out the Indian stereotype. It'd be hilarious to watch him speak in a stilted accent for two hours. Yes...yes." Of course as of lately, the National Lampoon name has been attached to a bunch of weird shitty movies so maybe there will be a line of "Van Wilder" movies, where the next one we focus on the dog with the big nuts. Speaking of attaching names to bad sequels...

7. The "American Pie Presents..." Series


Sequel to: The Original American Pie Trilogy
Plot of Original(s): Jason Biggs is awkward at sex. He eventually fucks, then marries, the hottest band geek in the world. Thanks to his horny friends, hilarty ensues at the expense of Eugene Levy.

Plot of Sequels: One of them was called The Naked Mile where hot college students ran around naked for half the movie and Eugene Levy was there for some reason. Another one took place at the infamous band camp where horny teenagers tried to have sex with their instruments or something. And Eugene Levy returns for some reason.

WTF: Many people probably thing "American Pie 2" and "American Wedding" wasn't needed, but at least they featured all the same actors and characters and I must admit are pretty funny movies. But then the only person left is simply called "Jim's Dad" and you throw in a bunch of nobodies and go "Eh, let's just say this is an American Pie movie. No one will notice", that's fuckin' retarded. At least focus on Stiffler and not his little brother (who did appear in one of them, don't ask me which I really don't care.)

8. White Noise 2


Sequel to: White Noise
Plot of Original: Michael Keaton hears dead people.

Plot of Sequel: Some other guy hears dead people.

WTF: Seriously. This is in league with "Hollow Man 2" and "Butterfly Effect 2". And even worse is, if I recall correctly, the original "White Noise" wasn't even good and didn't do well. So, what? The movie guys thought it was Michael Keaton's fault and figured if they get rid of him, the movie will be good?

9. Baby Geniuses 2: Super Babies


Sequel to: Baby Beniuses
Plot of Original: Babies can talk and do thinks like adults can. Hilarity ensues.

Plot of Sequel: Some babies...oh who cares.

WTF: Really? That's all I gotta say. Really?

10. Lawnmower Man 2


Sequel to: The Lawnmower Man
Plot of Original: Scientist Pierce Bronsan invents some virtual reality thing that also makes people smarter. Enter Job, a "special" landscaper who Pierce instantly exploits and not only makes him smarter but hot also. Eventually, Job goes crazy and tries to kill people...THROUGH VIRTUAL REALITY!

Plot of Sequel: I seen it. But...I have no idea what was going on. Job was in the computer? He was trying to take over the world? I dunno.

WTF: Remember the big virtual reality craze in the '90's? Eventually it died down. Then Lawnmower Man 2 was made. So on several levels this movie didn't need to be made. What's even odder is the dude who played Job, Jeff Fahey, was replaced by Matt Frewer, who you may know as the neighbor from "Honey, I Shrunk The Kids" and more importantly "Max Headroom". And even more interesting enough the Stephen King story this is based on, doesn't feature anything about virtual reality or computers or "simple" people. It's about a crazy lawnmower man terrorizing a family. And he actually eats grass like a lawnmower. Now THAT I would pay to see.

11. Daddy Day Camp


Sequel to: Daddy Day Care
Plot of Original: This is wacky! Eddie Murphy and Jeff Garlin are fathers! And men! And men/fathers can't take care of kids! So what do we do? Let's have fathers/men take care of kids! LOTS AND LOTS OF KIDS!! Hijinks, come ensuing!

Plot of Sequel: Now this is wacky! Cuba Gooding, Jr and...some other guys run a camp! Full of kids! WHA??

WTF: If Eddie Murphy won't star in it, you know it'll be bad.

12. Speed 2: Cruise Control


Sequel to: Speed
Plot of Original: A bus carrying a bomb must be stopped before it goes under 50 m.p.h! And only Keanu Reeves can stop it! With some help from Sandra Bullock.

Plot of Sequel: Sandra Bullock breaks up with Keanu and decides to go on a cruise to relax. Some terrorist put a bomb on the ship. Many "Do I have the worst luck or what" jokes ensue.

WTF: If Keanu won't star in it...

-Jason

New Mass Invasion: Dolemite

In memory of Rudy Ray Moore, we decide to take on his classic (Using that word loosely here) film "Dolemite"

Dolemite

Enjoy you jive ass honkeys!
-Jason

PS: You all aren't really jive ass honkeys. I was just trying to be funny

I Have To Do This

Happy Thanksgiving guys! Dolemite review next week!
-Jason

Jumbled Movie Title Quiz: The Answers

Well, only three people submitted an answer. I'm guessing it's cause this was challenging. On top of that, Wordle kinda messed up by not including certain words. But out of the three that sent answers, we do have a winner.


(Click on picture to see it bigger on the site.)

First, the correct answers:
The Lost Boys
Can Hieronymus Merkin Ever Forget Mercy Humppe and Find True Happiness?
North by Northwest
It's A Wonderful Life
American Beauty
Freddy vs Jason
Back to the Future
The Day The Earth Stood Still
House of the Dead
Flags of Our Fathers
Little Miss Sunshine
The Usual Suspects
Good Will Hunting
Once Upon A Time In America
The Princess Bride
Rocky Horror Picture Show
The Man Who Knew Too Much
The Good The Bad And The Ugly
In Cold Blood
Throw Mama From The Train
Monkey Shines
Altered States
Black Christmas
The Return of the Living Dead
Escape From New York
Wet Hot American Summer
Brain That Wouldn't Die
Murder by Death
Your Vice Is A Locked Room
Do The Right Thing

The scores:
Third place goes to Mr. Senor LAMB Master Fletch, who got 11 right.
Second place goes to Rachel, who got 23 right.
And first place goes to the Reel Whore himself, Wayne, with 28 right! Congratulations!

Next time I do something like this, I promise it won't be this hard.

(That's what she said.)
-Jason

Jumbled Movie Quiz: Two Days Left

Just a reminder that the jumbled movie title quiz ends on Friday. I won't accept any entries after the 14th, so hurry and get those entries in, even if you don't have all 30 done.

http://invasionofthebmovies.blogspot.com/2008/11/jumbled-movie-title-quiz.html

Thanks!
-Jason

New Review: Basket Case

You guys, this is possibly my new favorite bad movie ever in the history of forever!

Basket Case

Yes I loved it THAT much!
-Jason