Friday, April 18, 2008

Day 17: Hatchet

What appealed to me about this movie is the slogan "Old School American Horror" then it says in smaller letters "It's not a sequel, a remake, or based off of a Japanese one". And I was like "YES!" cause all the god damn horror movies that's been out lately are either sequels, remakes, or based from a horror movie from Japan. So some AMERICAN dude (GET THIS!) made up his OWN STORY! WOW!!

Now granted, it's a slasher flick. Every slasher flick is pretty much the same thing. What makes each one different is who the killer is or how the killer preys on his victims or whatever. This one does follow the whole "the killer is an ugly twisted freak who was picked on so many times so now he haunts this area and kills anyone that shows up" trend. But I still thought it was awesome.

The plot revolves around Ben, who was recently dumped by his girlfriend. He goes to Mardi Gras with his friends in hopes strange women's tits would keep his mind off his ex's tits. It doesn't work and instead he wants to go on a haunted boat ride tour, so he does. Marcus, Ben's friend, doesn't wanna leave Ben alone, cause he might kill himself or something, tags along, even though he thinks the entire thing is stupid.

They eventually show up at Shawn's questionable boat ride. A few other "suckers" join in, including an old couple, a dude pretending to be a porn director and two chicks who like to show their tits a lot, and a quiet girl. Shawn starts the ride and makes up bullshit about ghosts appearing here or there, with Ben debunking him the whole ride.

They eventually get to the house of one Victor Crowley, who lived with his father and was born disfigured. He died when some kids, pulling a prank, accidently burned the house down. So now he haunts these rivers and such. It's not too long before the killing starts, first both the old couple, then the porn director, and then Shawn, all in a row like that. The quiet girl reveals to be looking for her father and brother (seriously played by Robert Englund and JOSH!! JOSH!!! from "The Blair Witch Project") and knows that Victor killed them. I should mention that Victor is played by Kane Hodder, famous for playing Jason in a few "Friday the 13th" films.

The rest keep running around from place to place trying to escape. Both hot porn chicks get it before quiet chick manages to get to a cemetary that leads to civilation. But the gate is locked and Marcus gets cut. So now it's Ben and Quiet Chick as they grab whatever makeshift weapons they can find and fight Victor.

First they tried to burn him but before he can get nice and toasty, it rains. Then they stab the shit out of him, repeatedly. They think they finally got him down for good and get on a row boat. But Quiet Girl falls into the water and when she comes back up, Victor has cut off one of Ben's hands and is about to attack her. And, fade to black.

You know going in that we shouldn't get to know these characters, and the movie doesn't spend hardly any time telling us much about them. It just sets things up and BAM! murder was the case that they gave me. I totally recommend this if you want something a bit different yet similar at the same time. This is a fun film made by true horror fans who knows how to have fun making movies. And that's all I ask for in my horror movies, some fun. Is that too much?


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