Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Day 2: April Fool's Day (2008)

So yesterday, being April 1st, I went and updated my old review of the 1980's "classic" "April Fool's Day", which I hate very, very much. A couple of weeks ago, while I was planning this event, I went to Netflix to add April Fool's Day to my queue and lo and fuckin' behold:

Well, obviously, I just had to see this little gem of a movie. And I'm gonna lay my reputation on the line when I say this:
It's really not that bad. It's probably even better than the original.

My theory is the filmmakers probably hated the 80's movie as much as I did and was like "We can do better", and they actually did.

Now I'm not saying it's the best movie on the planet. But when you compare the two, this remake shines through. The action happens faster, the story makes way more sense, and we get literally thousand gory death scenes. Sadly, no nudity. But the lead chick was pretty hot.

The hot chick. And yes, that guy off to the left is looking at the camera.

So this film starts off looking like a murderous episode of "The O.C" where a bunch of super filthy rich people have a party cause some chick named Torrance has been accepted into this rich group. The lead hot chick, Desiree, is the one throwing the party. During the party some skinny chick named Milan shows up and I totally think they're trying to make odd comparisons between her and Paris Hilton. I mean, isn't Milan the name of a city somewhere? Oh and speaking of comparisons, there's a gay dude who's blogs on the internet about celebrity gossip. Three guesses who this is suppose to be. There are more characters but they're not super important.

Anyway, Desiree's brother Blaine tries to get it on with Milan but she was slipped a roofie at some point and as a result dies. Everyone is horrified.

This chick is the angel of death, don't ya know?

After a year of scandal and Blaine losing ownership of the family trust fund, Desiree finds a note saying to meet up at Milan's grave. She, and all the not so important characters show up, and they find out through another letter that someone in the group killed Milan and if they don't step forward, they all are gonna die.

Well, they all pass it off as an accident, so they ignore it until a beauty pagent chick, a George W. Bush-like guy, and a film maker that totally reminds me of me, but not so creepy die, does Desiree and Blaine realize this is serious business. They try to warn Torrence but she thinks Desiree is the murderer and hangs up on her.

So Desiree and Blaine return home and find Torrence waiting for them cause she's the killer. She shoots Blaine and is about to kill Desiree when she spits out a confession saying she was the one to put the roofie in the drink but didn't think the stupid bitch would O'D, dammit!

Well, I already knew, since this IS a remake of the 80's film, that everything we saw was total bullshit and I was right. Every single damn thing was one long elaborate prank and all the people we saw killed are actually alive. This was Blaine's idea cause he was pissed he lost ownership on the family trust, so he set Desiree up to blurt out a confession, heard by some cop or lawyer or something.

The part that cracked me up is that Torrence, who was working on a movie, asked all the people in the movie to help out by doing the special effects and whatnot. Like people on movies have THAT much time on their hands. Whatever.

What made this movie a step up from the original was the actual ending, which I totally didn't see coming. Torrence goes to show Desiree that the gun is full of blanks but she finds out the hard way that it's actually loaded with a bullet. Everyone is stunned, Blaine gets ownership, and he probably had something to do with the death of Desiree. Whatever. I just wanna congratulate the makers of this movie for making a pretty entertaining "April Fool's Day" movie. Lemme look up their names and-

They're named "The Butcher Brothers". Nevermind. Ok, naw, seriously, this is an ok movie. I recommend skipping that "other" one and just getting this one. Plus you get to look at a hot chick for a good length of time in the movie, so that's not all bad. Too bad she didn't get naked. Oh well.


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